Trail to the King, Baby!

While most of the people in my palmy mid-mitten region were inside reinacting that Zooey Deschanel iPhone commercial (pretending their senses can't pick up the fact its raining, not knowing how follow instructions on a Campbell's label to make a simple can of soup, and being messy procrastinators) I went out to run with my friend on the trail. 

We keep incrementally adding mileage to our little runs we're doing together, and the slow, steady, deliberate ramp up is really starting to work.  Remember the 13 miler that was just for fun this past weekend, well tack on another 11ish miler.  With River Bank Run coming this weekend, I'd usually be resting the legs and getting ready to kill that, but right now it's just another run.  Did you get that?  The longest official race I've done to date is "just another run," and we've started to put up double digit runs as just our "regular" runs.  What happened to run 3 to 4 miles and call it good?   I don't even think my legs wake up and know they're running until mile 6...

On top of that, it's not like we were out there dying yesterday, either.  We're taking running jumps over puddles, stopping to rip up some garlic mustard and hold it in our hands whooping like it was a trophy kill (okay, that was just me), talking and laughing pretty much the entire time without ever really being out of breath, and not one complaint about the rain weighing us down (it's mostly water weight!).

Dramatization of my running "Hobo Royalty" at its finest

The small leg we added on from last week runs right by the Burger King, and, feeling bad over all the smack I talked about them in my last entry, I felt the need to make nice with the royal court.  Of course we're training so there's no stopping and eating.  What I did do was pick up one of the abandoned Burger King crowns laying adjacent to their parking lot and put it over my Killian's hat for the rest of my run.  That's 5+ miles of free promotion and environmental stewardship.  I hope that makes us cool.  With the 1/4 mile stretch right before your restaurant and the high traffic, I'm guessing at least one person saw my crown and pulled in, or perhaps that old lady that laughed at me when we headed back into the trail decided to stop in.  While she was laughing I completely forgot I was wearing the crown on my head, and ran very self-consciously for the next 1/2 mile, and I would hope that my insecure thoughts were worth at least a fish sandwich (as we say, regarding the NHL as well, BK..."bring back the whale!").

Oooh baby, blubber on a bun!

Even after realizing it was because of the crown, you gotta kinda wonder if she was laughing, in part, because she thought we were running to and from Burger King.  

Back By Popular Demand...

Let's face it kids, you all missed the fatty fat fatty, did you not?

As you all know, today is (part of) Fat Tuesdayweek.  I'm sure there's some of you out there trying to get in shape, or already superior physical specimens out there saying to yourselves today, "Oh dear lordy bee, I had me-self a half a paczki and I feel soo bay-ad."  Meanwhile in America's High Five State, a man is running the gauntlet of every bad food he can tap into for the week before the clock strikes midnight and Lent begins, and it's all over for him (and running season seems to truly begin). 

Sure, I've had a good start to the year, but Fat Tuesday is a tradition, so I'm sticking with it.  A few years ago, I started stretching it out to a week Tuesday-Tuesday, because trying to fit all my favorite horrible things into one day is impossible and digestively aggravating.  Let's see what's on the board...

February 14th/7th Annual FVD Holiday Extravaganza
This requires a back-story.  I'll try to be brief.  In 2006, I got tired of being depressed on Valentine's Day.  The 14th is dad's death anniversary (2003), so if I wasn't alone on that day, usually my sh*tty attitude would make it so, and after already doing it twice, I wasn't about to just let that cloud hang over my head for life.  I called up a couple single bros and left them voicemails basically saying, screw (we used a more vulgar word) the holiday for making single people feel like a group of society's defectives and making us cower in our homes, let's go out to the bar.  We went out to the loft, we owned that bar for that night (much like we owned any bar in those days), and thus began FVD and this idea that we were the "undisputed 'Kings' of this town." 

Now that we're old, and that title has passed, two things from that night still remain:  the pledge that we'd celebrate together on that day, single or not, and not bail on our friends and when we say goodbye, we count the number of us out on our hands in unison and throw those fingers up on the top of our heads as a crown.  I think initially it started off as a cynical anti-love thing for a few of us, but it's grown into more of an inclusive thing that everyone looks forward to.  My wife secretly still gets her flowers, and dinner, and she gets drinks of top of it.  We usually end up doing more with our friends that night than we'd ever do by ourselves.  I think it's become a really nice tradition, and, no, we're not out trying to ruin anything for you mushy couples...it's never been about that, even though you may look over and realize we're having more fun than you.  Also we've made matching T-Shirts since the 2nd one, which usually turns out to be either awesome or a total nightmare.  This is because we never plan a thing ahead ever, and get the whole thing, including the design, together after work.

2012 Logo

My Wife's FVD card to me. It pretty much ruled my universe, much like her.

Anyway, chalk me up for a huge burger at Ashley's in Ann Arbor (first time we took this show outside of Flint or Detroit).  They have half the world on tap so I had a St. Feuilliien/Green Flash Biere De L'Amitie , two Founders All Day IPAs, and a Primordial Porter.  Then I finished up my shoestring fries with my wasabi sauce.

Feb. 15th
Hello buy one get one BK Chicken sandwich...two original please...

Feb 16th
I forgot and I ate healthy...stupid, stupid, stupid

Feb 17th
BK chicken again, originals again.  Ate both slow enough to realize they now taste a little like ground cardboard.  Then some night time rice krispie treats made by yours truly.

Feb 18th
It was my last pre-Lent chance to test this Five Guys place.  I still have never been to one and there was one within striking distance of the beer run my wife and I were on.  So we stopped and each of us got a burger and split a fry and a diet Barq's.  Cajun fries are good, but nothing you can't make at home, and the burgers are good, but it's about the same as a Halo Burger only thinner and taller.

Cajun

After the Five Guys, we had our "Super Boris Funtime Party," watching Russian-themed movies while trying to purge the excess wedding vodka.  We managed to kill a bottle of Smirnoff, and drank a few Russian/Ukrainian beers that we realized had been expired for over a year but bought anyway.  The beer store must not move Russian beer too often.  I also realized I may have missed my calling as a bartender.

Small Carnage

Feb 19th
Sunday was Lucky's with my wife, brother, and sister for lunch.  So it was chicken parmesan, side of alfredo, and a lot of Dr. Peppers.

Then I picked up some Kroger Jammed Cookie Dough ice cream later that night.
Feb 20th
I finally had my first Taco Bell of the year.  24 total layers of burrito (two 7's, two beefy 5's)

Then, for dinner, it was time to raise the red roof...

My wife, her dad, and I destroyed a large onion and green pepper pizza, 22 wings, and a 5 piece breadstick.  Oh, and then a few hours later I knocked out a package of pizza rolls.

Fat Tuesday
After yesterday I couldn't even think about eating until maybe noon.  I've since made up some ground, and here comes the grand finale:

*Finalized Results*
2 Bavarian Creme Paczkis
1 16" Big John Steak and Cheese
A 5 mile run with Jason........wait, what the hell?  Didn't you just eat a lot of food?  Yes, but I am not human.
2 McDoubles
10 piece Chicken Nugget
2 pints of ale
48 oz of Coca-Cola
1 giant size Mallo Cup 4 pack
1 Raspberry Paczki
2 Tater Tots (yep just two)
A handful of gumballs
1 12 oz bottle Founders Dirty Bastard

...and that's it for the time being.  I will update if there's any more, but I feel semi-pregnant and there is no room at the food inn, so I figured I'd write you all and give you the food collapse that you all so missed.  Especially since this year I'm going to get very serious and snap back into gear tomorrow, when I magically turn into a very healthy, helpful, and contributing individual.  I also tend to enter what the Brewers called "Beast Mode" last year about this time.  First up on the hit list is probably the Corktown Race.  I will see you all on the other side.

Oh, and Friday we're going to bring home our Corgi puppy.  His name is "Renfield."

Renfield two weeks ago

Return to Power (badly fueled power, but power nonetheless)

I'm actually getting back into my groove here.  My mileage has been on a steady up the last 4 weeks.  My speeds completely suck, but I've only just started to push a little again.  I haven't really had the mental desire to go fast lately.  I'm in winter mode, and as long as I get back close to even with summer me, I'm good with that.  Plenty of time for next year's ramp up.

Rock!

Speaking of winter mode, I had my first run with a stocking cap Sunday, running the Crim route.  There was a lot of traffic out, and they stalled me at nearly every cross street.  I also lost my focus when I realized, going by Atwood, that I missed yet another UM-Flint Kodiaks football game and it was the last one of the year.  I really meant to get out to one of those (dammit!).

Winter mode also forced us to finally actually turn the furnace on finally.  The only problem was, it didn't come on.  That added a little drama to our Saturday, as my wife and I were both in a good mental state about getting rid of her car and getting her a new(ish) one.  She needed it and did a lot of research and found a great deal on a very low mileage used Vibe.  I have a little car envy, but my old car is still perfect, and I'm good with it until it starts to bite me in the back pocket.  Going to do that also kept me from seeing that horrible MSU/Nebraska debacle, so thank goodness for that.

Hello New Friend

The rest of the weekend was book-ended by a trip to Detroit to see Evil Dead: The Musical (Friday) and a trip to my mother-in-laws for dinner (Sunday).  Evil Dead was wonderful, and if you missed it, sorry, but it's probably too late for you now (this year).  When you walked in you were told "If you sit where there is a plastic cover over the seat you may or not be drenched in fake blood, which may or may not come out of your clothes."  Exact warning word-for-word...and those people up there were very liberally hosed down at times.  Too bad only 1 of the 3 of us that went knew that this wasn't a "dressy bessy" theatre gig and wore his jeans and t-shirt instead of nice clothes.  

At least they didn't start freaking out and shaking their head and burying their head in their lap and other entertaining reactions involved weirdly staggered breathing like the girl in the row in front of us.  When they were approached by security, they told a little fib about her drinking too much, and they got her out of there.  I called B.S. and had to explain to an older lady, that somehow was completely buffered from the 60s and 70s, why the alcohol claim was ridiculous ("drunk my a**...ha ha").  Can you guess what I said it was?

Anyhow I'm back on the good running habit train.  The eating train is still derailed, but I'm thinking of adding a nice weekly segment to call myself out on here with that.  I'm going to do a mini one here just by showing you the floor of my passenger seat from today.  No it's not all FROM today, but it's there today.  Stupid coupons and Halloween candy forming a coalition of the filling...every day this week has been bad.  

Sad...

Still though, hard to call yourself out and say you're going to do better while watching Colbert and eating his Ben and Jerry's brand ice cream...so I won't bother.

Don't Judge Me