Monday, February 18, 2013

I Have To Get Going Here. It'll Happen.

If you haven't really noticed, I've been a little absent around here so far in 2013.  Also, maybe you've noticed my mileage on the old dailymile is comprised of mostly very short runs and not a lot of my usual entertaining (for me at least) commentary. 

I could explain it in a lot of ways, but I'll start with the situation.  Let's face it, the last few months have been a bit of a bummer.  I've lost two very young cousins, a grandparent, and, now, shortly in the future I will be losing my job (my job site announced it's closing early this month).  Also this past Valentine's Day marked 10 years of being without my father.

Now, am I completely and utterly depressed?  No, not really.  I sulked for about 3 days after the job loss announcement, and have since immediately started go through my connections for leads and raining resumes down on the job sites like confetti on a parade.  Everything else I can't do anything about.  I can't resurrect the dead, and even when they try in movies or comics (e.g. the U.S. Presidents in the recent Deadpool reboot) it never turns out to be some sort of happy ending.  There's plenty of worse things happening to a lot of people, and by all means and measures, I'm doing just fine.

Also, it's been 7 years since I've let myself just sulk on Valentine's Day.  It's now become a tradition to get together with friends, even the single ones, and go do something inclusive.  Initially it started off with three of us getting together on a whim, going out, getting smashed, and having a good time, while denouncing the day with loud, boisterous fits of slurred swearing (and FVD was born). 

This year, instead of the usual pub crawling, we went to the Blind Pig to see Electric Six

and Andy D

I don't care if you even read the rest of this post, but you have to watch the video right above.

It was pretty hard to sulk watching them, and we all had a really good, surprisingly sober, time.

Anyway, getting back to where I was going before.  I'm really not in some sort of depressed funk.  The running hasn't been there just because I've been focusing my time on the job search.  Also, I have been getting out of work much later than usual, and I still haven't come close to thinking about becoming morning runner guy.  I haven't been doing races or much of anything that costs too much (the concert tickets were only $15/ea) because I'm going to be very conservative with money until something else is lined up.  The uncertainty has made me unsure of what I want my running goals to be this year.  That's the reason why I haven't posted my annual goals for you guys to see. 

Also, when life hands me lemons, I do try to make lemonade (though I believe now they're even better in a Dutch Baby Pancake), but I also like to horde the lemonade for myself (pancakes too).  In challenging times, I'm just a natural introvert.  I like to keep my good vibes that I can muster to myself, and I find myself shutting off that valve that makes me want to send all of them out into the world.  I know some people feel they get as much good back from the public and like or need to be around people when things are bad.  It makes them feel energized and keeps them positive.  That's just not me.  Some days (e.g. Valentine's Day) there are exceptions, but if I try to mimic that for a long period of time, it doesn't work.  It's almost like I need people (with my wife being one of the very rare exceptions) in moderation, and if I overdo it I have a big crash later.  I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's part of the lack of blogging, dailymile commentary, etc. too.

Stick with me.  I'm still positive the best is yet to come.  I'll find a way to run more and get motivated soon.  I  know it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Winterlaufe DNS

Well, it has finally happened.  I have my first "did not start" at the Winterlaufe this weekend.  Given a multiple choice question, with reasons why I didn't do one of my favorite winter runs, you'd probably have to assume something like:

A)  I overslept giving my corgi and lady the good cuddles on a lazy Saturday morning  (Incorrect)
B)  I finally managed to blow out some sort of tendon, ligament, or bone balancing a hippo's body on zebra legs.  (Incorrect...and, HEY!)
C)  Too many beers on Friday night (Incorrect)
D)  Food poisoning from all the crazy stupid things I seem to shove into my gullet.  (Incorrect)

It was none of those, or driving conditions, or laziness, or anything else you might expect from me.  Truth be told, I actually love all the Frankenmuth runs enough to not risk willy nilly missing any of them, especially on a year where they're actually giving people that do all 3 a special prize (why didn't you do it last year?...bastards).

I actually missed because I had to pay my respects to a wonderful lady named Dorlis who, after marrying my grandfather in 1989, has been our acting grandmother since.  My mother, brother, sister, and I went to see her last Sunday.  She had asked to see us and it was a sure thing that she was on her way out of this world.  She was awake and aware enough for us to speak to her, and say what we wanted to say.  She said she wasn't in any pain, though, with that generation, you never know.  They're so tough and unwilling to complain about anything, only she knows for sure if that was true.  On Wednesday, only a few hours after holding out for the remaining members of her family to be with her, she peacefully left this world.

Having her being a part of our family and be there to take care of my grandfather and see him to the ripe age of 87 has been a blessing.  It's actually hard to imagine she's gone for a lot of us.  Up until the past few weeks she has still been very vibrant.  She's fought off leukemia for many years, with a few blips in health, but has always bounced back with a vengeance.  Less than a year ago we were with her for her 90th birthday party, and she looked like she could have had another 5-10 in her.

However, some of our sadness is easily replaced with the consoling reminder of how much time she did have and the legacy she leaves behind.  She's had a long time on this world, and has seen and done almost everything you can do.  More importantly, she has left behind an infinite legacy of love, including 3 children, 3 step-children, 17 grandchildren, 26 great-grandchildren, and 3 great-great-grandchildren.  You can't ask for much more than that, and we know she will live on through, not only them, but the great many others she has touched throughout her life.

Goodbye for now, Grandma Dorlis.  We'll never forget you.
Dorlis's 90th Birthday
(...and this wss just the Conley-related side)
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