Trail to the King, Baby!

While most of the people in my palmy mid-mitten region were inside reinacting that Zooey Deschanel iPhone commercial (pretending their senses can't pick up the fact its raining, not knowing how follow instructions on a Campbell's label to make a simple can of soup, and being messy procrastinators) I went out to run with my friend on the trail. 

We keep incrementally adding mileage to our little runs we're doing together, and the slow, steady, deliberate ramp up is really starting to work.  Remember the 13 miler that was just for fun this past weekend, well tack on another 11ish miler.  With River Bank Run coming this weekend, I'd usually be resting the legs and getting ready to kill that, but right now it's just another run.  Did you get that?  The longest official race I've done to date is "just another run," and we've started to put up double digit runs as just our "regular" runs.  What happened to run 3 to 4 miles and call it good?   I don't even think my legs wake up and know they're running until mile 6...

On top of that, it's not like we were out there dying yesterday, either.  We're taking running jumps over puddles, stopping to rip up some garlic mustard and hold it in our hands whooping like it was a trophy kill (okay, that was just me), talking and laughing pretty much the entire time without ever really being out of breath, and not one complaint about the rain weighing us down (it's mostly water weight!).

Dramatization of my running "Hobo Royalty" at its finest

The small leg we added on from last week runs right by the Burger King, and, feeling bad over all the smack I talked about them in my last entry, I felt the need to make nice with the royal court.  Of course we're training so there's no stopping and eating.  What I did do was pick up one of the abandoned Burger King crowns laying adjacent to their parking lot and put it over my Killian's hat for the rest of my run.  That's 5+ miles of free promotion and environmental stewardship.  I hope that makes us cool.  With the 1/4 mile stretch right before your restaurant and the high traffic, I'm guessing at least one person saw my crown and pulled in, or perhaps that old lady that laughed at me when we headed back into the trail decided to stop in.  While she was laughing I completely forgot I was wearing the crown on my head, and ran very self-consciously for the next 1/2 mile, and I would hope that my insecure thoughts were worth at least a fish sandwich (as we say, regarding the NHL as well, BK..."bring back the whale!").

Oooh baby, blubber on a bun!

Even after realizing it was because of the crown, you gotta kinda wonder if she was laughing, in part, because she thought we were running to and from Burger King.  

Back By Popular Demand...

Let's face it kids, you all missed the fatty fat fatty, did you not?

As you all know, today is (part of) Fat Tuesdayweek.  I'm sure there's some of you out there trying to get in shape, or already superior physical specimens out there saying to yourselves today, "Oh dear lordy bee, I had me-self a half a paczki and I feel soo bay-ad."  Meanwhile in America's High Five State, a man is running the gauntlet of every bad food he can tap into for the week before the clock strikes midnight and Lent begins, and it's all over for him (and running season seems to truly begin). 

Sure, I've had a good start to the year, but Fat Tuesday is a tradition, so I'm sticking with it.  A few years ago, I started stretching it out to a week Tuesday-Tuesday, because trying to fit all my favorite horrible things into one day is impossible and digestively aggravating.  Let's see what's on the board...

February 14th/7th Annual FVD Holiday Extravaganza
This requires a back-story.  I'll try to be brief.  In 2006, I got tired of being depressed on Valentine's Day.  The 14th is dad's death anniversary (2003), so if I wasn't alone on that day, usually my sh*tty attitude would make it so, and after already doing it twice, I wasn't about to just let that cloud hang over my head for life.  I called up a couple single bros and left them voicemails basically saying, screw (we used a more vulgar word) the holiday for making single people feel like a group of society's defectives and making us cower in our homes, let's go out to the bar.  We went out to the loft, we owned that bar for that night (much like we owned any bar in those days), and thus began FVD and this idea that we were the "undisputed 'Kings' of this town." 

Now that we're old, and that title has passed, two things from that night still remain:  the pledge that we'd celebrate together on that day, single or not, and not bail on our friends and when we say goodbye, we count the number of us out on our hands in unison and throw those fingers up on the top of our heads as a crown.  I think initially it started off as a cynical anti-love thing for a few of us, but it's grown into more of an inclusive thing that everyone looks forward to.  My wife secretly still gets her flowers, and dinner, and she gets drinks of top of it.  We usually end up doing more with our friends that night than we'd ever do by ourselves.  I think it's become a really nice tradition, and, no, we're not out trying to ruin anything for you mushy couples...it's never been about that, even though you may look over and realize we're having more fun than you.  Also we've made matching T-Shirts since the 2nd one, which usually turns out to be either awesome or a total nightmare.  This is because we never plan a thing ahead ever, and get the whole thing, including the design, together after work.

2012 Logo

My Wife's FVD card to me. It pretty much ruled my universe, much like her.

Anyway, chalk me up for a huge burger at Ashley's in Ann Arbor (first time we took this show outside of Flint or Detroit).  They have half the world on tap so I had a St. Feuilliien/Green Flash Biere De L'Amitie , two Founders All Day IPAs, and a Primordial Porter.  Then I finished up my shoestring fries with my wasabi sauce.

Feb. 15th
Hello buy one get one BK Chicken sandwich...two original please...

Feb 16th
I forgot and I ate healthy...stupid, stupid, stupid

Feb 17th
BK chicken again, originals again.  Ate both slow enough to realize they now taste a little like ground cardboard.  Then some night time rice krispie treats made by yours truly.

Feb 18th
It was my last pre-Lent chance to test this Five Guys place.  I still have never been to one and there was one within striking distance of the beer run my wife and I were on.  So we stopped and each of us got a burger and split a fry and a diet Barq's.  Cajun fries are good, but nothing you can't make at home, and the burgers are good, but it's about the same as a Halo Burger only thinner and taller.

Cajun

After the Five Guys, we had our "Super Boris Funtime Party," watching Russian-themed movies while trying to purge the excess wedding vodka.  We managed to kill a bottle of Smirnoff, and drank a few Russian/Ukrainian beers that we realized had been expired for over a year but bought anyway.  The beer store must not move Russian beer too often.  I also realized I may have missed my calling as a bartender.

Small Carnage

Feb 19th
Sunday was Lucky's with my wife, brother, and sister for lunch.  So it was chicken parmesan, side of alfredo, and a lot of Dr. Peppers.

Then I picked up some Kroger Jammed Cookie Dough ice cream later that night.
Feb 20th
I finally had my first Taco Bell of the year.  24 total layers of burrito (two 7's, two beefy 5's)

Then, for dinner, it was time to raise the red roof...

My wife, her dad, and I destroyed a large onion and green pepper pizza, 22 wings, and a 5 piece breadstick.  Oh, and then a few hours later I knocked out a package of pizza rolls.

Fat Tuesday
After yesterday I couldn't even think about eating until maybe noon.  I've since made up some ground, and here comes the grand finale:

*Finalized Results*
2 Bavarian Creme Paczkis
1 16" Big John Steak and Cheese
A 5 mile run with Jason........wait, what the hell?  Didn't you just eat a lot of food?  Yes, but I am not human.
2 McDoubles
10 piece Chicken Nugget
2 pints of ale
48 oz of Coca-Cola
1 giant size Mallo Cup 4 pack
1 Raspberry Paczki
2 Tater Tots (yep just two)
A handful of gumballs
1 12 oz bottle Founders Dirty Bastard

...and that's it for the time being.  I will update if there's any more, but I feel semi-pregnant and there is no room at the food inn, so I figured I'd write you all and give you the food collapse that you all so missed.  Especially since this year I'm going to get very serious and snap back into gear tomorrow, when I magically turn into a very healthy, helpful, and contributing individual.  I also tend to enter what the Brewers called "Beast Mode" last year about this time.  First up on the hit list is probably the Corktown Race.  I will see you all on the other side.

Oh, and Friday we're going to bring home our Corgi puppy.  His name is "Renfield."

Renfield two weeks ago

5F6

Saturday

Politically Incorrect Cookies 

This b/c of that horrible MSU loss

Sunday

Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo, oh yeah!

Monday

My wife's birthday, as well as Repeal Day, so we went to the Frankenmuth Brewery.  Cheese ravioli with meat sauce for me, delicious burger for her, avocado bruschetta to split, and beers.  I think she had a good birthday.

The Smile

The Take

Tuesday

Two, and I tried the new BK fries.  I know, I'm bad

Add in the chocolate truffle wave cake for Jessi's belated birthday, because she didn't want cake the day before after dinner.  

Wednesday

Hot & Ready got me again

Two of these

Thursday

Those fake Lucky Charms from Meijer that I love

Friday

I'm currently using my lunch break to write this while I eat my wife's delicious chicken stew she made way too much of (I'm guessing at least 3 day's worth).  Since I can't ever get breadbowls anywhere anymore, I'm doing the next best thing and using some wheat bread essentially as a slowly disappearing (into my tummy) spoon.  Suck on that all you Atkins and Paleo nuts.  Yeah, so you're in good shape...I got bread....bread....BREAD!!!!  That's the very reason why people say "best thing since sliced bread."  It's delicious (apologies to my gluten-free sister who may read this).