Monday, June 18, 2012

In case you were wondering...

...I was not able to reclaim my winning ways, and beat J at the Dalmatian firefighter run on Saturday.  Maybe if it were a real firefighter run and I had to carry people along the way while inhaling smoke, my strength and being a former smoker may have helped.  It wasn't like that, though, and if there was a big ladder to climb as part of the imaginary firefighter race business I would have been screwed anyway.
Pre-Race and wearing the lucky Darko jersey
In the real firefighter race I held on as long as I could to pull up on him late, but there was just no catching him.  I also was not able to catch the famous fluorescent man from last year, who blew both of us away and cruised in for a major heavyweight division victory.  This year only his shoes were fluorescent yellow, but wearing normal colors does not seem to slow him down.  All theories that his shirt last year somehow solar-powered his body and/or legs can now be quashed.  His presence made me sign up for heavyweight again, despite saying I wouldn't, with hopes of winning the chubby bunny hop outright, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Also, J's claim of performance enhancing can be questioned as well.  Despite PRing the Retread on a Claritin D, he blew that time away for another PR just a week later, coming in with a 24:19.  That nails down his side of the bargain in us both getting under the set goal of 25:05 (a ridiculous time we've chosen for its mystical powers that we've imagined all in our head).  It also silences any questions that he accidentally "cheated" last time.

However, all was not lost for me.  Even in defeat, I managed to capture a silver lining of a new 5K PR.  Yep, 24:44 (at worst, because there's also a 24:32 listed).  Either way, course PR, 5K PR, and exclusive membership in the sub-8 minute club.  Of course this means that avocado/meatball subs are a performance enhancer, and I'm now the cheater.

Division Trophy "Tron"-styled pose
I know what you're thinking, you're going to try this too.  I'm warning you though, once you start down this dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, at least for the limited time during the summer where Subway is offering avocado.  You'll want to use it for every race, and you'll be going along having a merry little back-to-back-to-back-to-back PR fest, and all of a sudden....promotion OVER!  You won't have time on your lunch break to pick up an avocado from the store, pit it, scoop it, mash it, and spread it on your already closed meatball sub.

You'll even put it on your post-race burger at "Freakin' Unbelievable Burgers"
(which are actually just "OK")
Anyway kids, here's an important message from your uncle Brent......don't buy subs.  Become a pop star (or tell Subway "it's for a duck"), and they'll give you them for free.


  1. Love the "Love Actually" reference at the end there!

    Congrats on your shiny new 5k PR!!!!

  2. Is the Heavyweight Division Trophy a glass Buddha?! I don't know if that should be offensive or reverential . . .
    Whatever it is, it's yours! Keep taking names Brent!

  3. Congrats on the new PR! Avocado on meatballs though? Sounds a little odd.


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