In case you were wondering...

...I was not able to reclaim my winning ways, and beat J at the Dalmatian firefighter run on Saturday.  Maybe if it were a real firefighter run and I had to carry people along the way while inhaling smoke, my strength and being a former smoker may have helped.  It wasn't like that, though, and if there was a big ladder to climb as part of the imaginary firefighter race business I would have been screwed anyway.

Pre-Race and wearing the lucky Darko jersey

In the real firefighter race I held on as long as I could to pull up on him late, but there was just no catching him.  I also was not able to catch the famous fluorescent man from last year, who blew both of us away and cruised in for a major heavyweight division victory.  This year only his shoes were fluorescent yellow, but wearing normal colors does not seem to slow him down.  All theories that his shirt last year somehow solar-powered his body and/or legs can now be quashed.  His presence made me sign up for heavyweight again, despite saying I wouldn't, with hopes of winning the chubby bunny hop outright, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Also, J's claim of performance enhancing can be questioned as well.  Despite PRing the Retread on a Claritin D, he blew that time away for another PR just a week later, coming in with a 24:19.  That nails down his side of the bargain in us both getting under the set goal of 25:05 (a ridiculous time we've chosen for its mystical powers that we've imagined all in our head).  It also silences any questions that he accidentally "cheated" last time.

However, all was not lost for me.  Even in defeat, I managed to capture a silver lining of a new 5K PR.  Yep, 24:44 (at worst, because there's also a 24:32 listed).  Either way, course PR, 5K PR, and exclusive membership in the sub-8 minute club.  Of course this means that avocado/meatball subs are a performance enhancer, and I'm now the cheater.

Division Trophy "Tron"-styled pose

I know what you're thinking, you're going to try this too.  I'm warning you though, once you start down this dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, at least for the limited time during the summer where Subway is offering avocado.  You'll want to use it for every race, and you'll be going along having a merry little back-to-back-to-back-to-back PR fest, and all of a sudden....promotion OVER!  You won't have time on your lunch break to pick up an avocado from the store, pit it, scoop it, mash it, and spread it on your already closed meatball sub.

You'll even put it on your post-race burger at "Freakin' Unbelievable Burgers"
(which are actually just "OK")

Anyway kids, here's an important message from your uncle Brent......don't buy subs.  Become a pop star (or tell Subway "it's for a duck"), and they'll give you them for free.

Double Time!

I haven't been to my old high school in at least 10 years.  Unlike the majority of schools I've been to for runs lately, it's one of the few places that's actually degraded since I've seen it last.  It looks like the track hasn't had new asphalt put down since it was redone when I was still in school.  So it made sense that the proceeds were going toward repairing the track.  Apparently they haven't even hosted a meet in 6 years.  Funny, because that was one of the few things we used to be really good at.  

It's not like I went out of remainder school pride or anything, trying to help them reach their track repair goals, though.  It was just a run.  I don't get a warm fuzzy being back there and reminiscing in any way.  When it comes to my high school years, I'm just kind of indifferent, I guess, because I never felt like the place or the people were all that great to me.  That being said, I still planned on trying to kick the hell out of this race.  I even sported my new Blue Lantern Flash shirt for the race.  Blue lanterns represent hope on the emotional spectrum, but their rings are most powerful when paired with a Green Lantern (will), because hope is not powerful in and of itself without the will to make those hopes a reality.  That goes for anything, not just Geoff Johns written comic heroes.

On this specific day I was hoping to maybe come close to or even win my age bracket.  There were a few people that looked to be about my age, but who knows how fast they are by looking at them.  I could tell there wasn't much chance of me winning the overall, but that was about it.  There weren't any old friends or alumni I knew well there.  I recognized one guy as the older brother of someone in my grade, but I never knew him personally, so I didn't say hello.  So, after registering, I just kind of kept to myself until race time, and stretched out a bit.

On the start, a good chunk of the field bolted out really quick, and that was a bad idea for about half of them.  I started out really casual and was breathing real easy.  A man came up on my side and passed me saying "Don't worry about keeping up with me, I'm going to walk here in a bit."  I didn't bother saying that I wasn't worried.  With the way he was breathing, I pretty much knew I would get him back eventually.

With the first mile in, it was time to run it up a bit.  There was a nice uphill slope, which is always my favorite part, because that's where I catch everyone.  I blew by everyone in the back and middle leading up to the turn-around.  I didn't see anybody that looked to be in my age group, so I kicked it up another gear to make sure nobody would catch me from behind.  I caught up to some more people and passed them until there was one man to catch before it was just the front pack ahead of me.  I got close, but he started hearing footsteps and I pushed him along from there.  He pulled away about 20 seconds ahead and stuck there with me in tow.

I pulled in with a 27:14 (yeah, another best...I know, I know, it's getting old right?), and thanked the guy ahead of me for pushing me along.  He admitted hearing me behind him, and thanked me for the push.  I love that part of running.  Even when you're trying to catch someone or they're trying to catch you, you're just happy they made you go faster, because in the end you're just trying to beat yourself.

After the race I stood around eating my banana and drinking a water wondering if there were any awards or anything at all.  I was starting to think that it really didn't matter if I won my age group or not.  Meanwhile me and another man had been cornered by one of those braggy runner types that just wouldn't stop talking.  You know the kind.  They've done this race and that race with such-and-such a time.  I'm pretty sure it was all B.S., though, because I torched him horribly, and those alleged times were way out of his league as far as I was concerned.  I guess it's possible, but at least lead with an excuse for why you didn't run worth a crap today first, otherwise it all seems like hot air.

Finally I heard there were going to be some awards, so I stuck around to see where I finished.  When they announced our age group, as soon as I heard the 2nd place person, I knew I had it.  Sure I'm still not an elite runner, but it's nice to get one after all the hard work anyway.  I've taken over 8 minutes off my 5K time at this point, and I wouldn't have won my age group without taking a lot of that time off.  Anyway, here it is, my first medal for actually winning one.

Apparently that wasn't enough for me, because at 4:00 I headed down the Lansing for the River Run Riot (R³) in my Captain Hammer shirt (apparently it was superhero day for me).  I thought I needed a little bit of prep for the Warrior Dash, and I heard this one had some moderate obstacles, so I couldn't pass it up.

I guess it was the first year it was held here, and you could tell.  There was an odd staggered start for males 16-39, there were huge bottle-necks at the obstacles where you'd wait in line, and there was a false start where the entire field headed toward the final obstacle first.  It was pretty funny, especially for all of us that were told to wait and watched as the starting pack went through a water obstacle and got wet for nothing.

Finally we got to start 10 minutes later.  We ran a mile, then climbed an angled pegged wall about 8 feet high or so and jumped down on a large mat.  Another mile and we went through the National Guard obstacle course, which is basically climbing through tight spaces of something resembling a bounce house, climbing another pegged wall (only the pegs are just full of air) and sliding down a slide.  I waited maybe ten minutes or more in line with my shoes off waiting for my turn.  Had I known there were breaks, I would have sprinted every running part, because anybody you did catch, even if they were right in front of you in line, had at least 30 seconds on you after the obstacle.  It really gave the early leaders a huge (and arguably unfair) advantage.

After putting my shoes back on after the National Guard obstacle, I tried to catch whoever was even in sight before we got to the next obstacle, which was some string and bungee chord webs.  My trail shoes (which I didn't need because the trail by the river was completely paved) were not the best choice for this obstacle.  All the treads on the bottom got stuck on the strings and I had a pretty rough time getting through.  From the looks of things, though, I was doing pretty well in comparison to the other people around me.

Only two more to go now.  The first was a spinning obstacle with foam arms that went up and down that you had to go over and under, and that was a cinch.  The final one was this thing.

 

What you were dealing with here was 3 balance beams: one going out, one going right, and one coming back.  These beams were floating on rubber plaforms and only held near the shore by two 20' bungee ropes.  What you're also dealing with is a lot of movement from you and the others on this thing.  On the way out the beam is rocked me back and forth (if you take it going sideways).  On the back side the second I stepped on the cross beam it felt like I was floating back and away the entire time.  The one coming back I took so fast I don't know what it was doing.  I have no idea how I stayed up on this thing.  It was not easy.  I attribute all the success to Wii Fit balance games.

The course was just short of 4 miles long, and including all the waiting, took about 52 minutes.  After finishing, I changed my clothes at the car, and went to the after party where you got 2 free beer tickets.  I used mine wisely on a Saugatuck Singapore IPA and a Bell's Two-Hearted, which are always solid choices.  Then I paid for a Founders Pale Ale, and hung out for another hour or so before heading home to meet some friends.  It was a long day, but a good one, and a very satisfying drive home.

The Backslide

Jerry in his self-named sitcom Seinfeld once said, "Never bet against the backslide."  While he was speaking to something quite a bit different than where I'm going with this, I think the idea that quitting anything you've been doing for long enough really is "like knocking over a Coke machine," and you do have to "rock it back and forth a few times" before it goes over.

I had just set a new 5K PR (again) up in Midland, while being sick, just a few weeks after finishing my first Half.  Not only that, the Tuesday after, I ran my home course that Jason and I always run in 29:34.  Getting this run under 30:00 was a goal we set for ourselves last summer when we were running it in 32-34s consistently.  Then, again on Thursday Jason and I both ran it under 30 again to seal the idea that it was a one-time fluke. 

Too much success can go to your head.  After Thursday, there was still that left-over Easter candy sitting around.  I had been nursing it slowly, and keeping within my goal calorie range, but screw it right?  I took down the rest of the basket.  Cadbury eggs...eliminated.  Reese's eggs...gone, sandwich baggies of squirrel nut zippers and mary janes...emptied, mallo cups....conquered (the spoils of which were the play money, cha-ching!).  So, yeah, I guess that tells you that I pretty much went on a tear, and also that when the older generation is gone, I, myself, may keep all the "old people candy" makers afloat.

With Lent being over there's also the ability to get back to eating fast food and pizza, swilling pop and beer, and not only negating runs in the caloric sense, but stopping them before they even happen by feeling like crap.  Let's do an honest run-down of shame, why don't we? 

Fast Food - I first broke the levee with the 16" Big John Steak and Onion on Tuesday, which I maybe ran off 1/3rd of on the same day. No other instances to report.

Pizza - I wanted to wait and get an actual good pizza and go out to eat, but I had a nice little frustration day Wednesday. Jessi wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go out so we caved to the call of Little Caesar's Hot-or-Ready Pizza special. We ended up buying two mediums, and two breads, and it seeped into two days of eating like crap. Really bad, I know.

Pop - On Easter I managed to find out about Mello Yello Zero coming out and one of my friends managed to find some. Unfortunately this is the same friend that, like me, has an obsession with MY, so she cleaned the place out of it completely. I vowed not to crack a soda until I crossed its path, and did so at a Speedway near work last Monday. They only had 4 bottles, but I took all of them. I've since finished those, had the Mexi-Coke that came with my Easter basket, and during the Pizza incident split a 2-liter of Wild Cherry Pepsi with Jessi (and by split I mean I probably drank 3/4 of it).  I had two Vernors at a wedding on Saturday.  Also, this Monday night I couldn't shake a headache and I fed it a Coke, which worked. Another piece of honest shame written in the book of truth.

Beer - The shocking thing is I didn't pop one open Easter Sunday as soon as possible. Out of the "Four Horsemen," this is my favorite and the one you'd usually see riding out first to end me. I didn't even feel like having beer that weekend, the next weekend, all during the week. It just didn't even seem appealing, and I was saying that I still think I will stick to the "weekend only" rule. I did actually pick up a six pack of Short's "The Curl" to save for when I did feel like it.

Monday night after the headache dissipated, a new one arose. My computer was giving me trouble, and blogger wasn't saving as I wrote my Half-Marathon entry, and I lost half of it. It was late, I was frustrated, and I wanted to finish the stupid thing that night before I went to bed, so I went Curling and had 4 of the 6 beers just finishing that thing up. Sadly, it was probably still better the way I had it the first time, because I was definitely less interested in the rewrite. It happens.

So there it is, the whole story of my success-driven complacency...wait what?  There's more?  Oh, shitake mushrooms (hey, I run a clean show now, people). 

Last Saturday I was planning on running another race.  This time there were 3 I was split between.  I could have went down to Detroit for yet another Belle Isle one, the "Spring Into Nature" race I missed last year.  I could have stayed local and do the Paul Webster Memorial run that  benefits both UM-Flint Students and local children with life threatening illnesses.  Then again, I could have went to Owosso really early and did the Humane Society run.  I even could have visited my step-grandma, who I haven't seen in almost a year, which is too long.  Whatever I did, I knew I should be back for a wedding at 6, but it wasn't a requirement (at least that's what she told me).

The alarm went off at 6, and I wasn't ready to get up, so scratch the Owosso plans.  I went back to sleep and I wake up again at 8 thinking to myself, "Well, I have an hour to get to Richfield park for the Webster Run and I still have time to get ready and get down to Belle Isle, what am I going to do?"  "I think I'm going back to sleep."  I didn't even get up until 10:30, and to compound things, Jessi, her dad, and I went out to Starlite for omelettes and blueberry pancakes.  Probably a nice 1500 calorie swing there. 

Once you start down this path, it kind of affects everything else.  There were a few things I wanted to accomplish Saturday, since I was going to be home anyway, and a lot of it just never happened.  Half the reason I forced myself to that wedding was because I failed so much at the rest of the day.  That only made me worse, because a shirt I haven't worn in 5 years suddenly fit.  Sunday, I meant to catch up on the run I skipped Saturday, but I just ate TV dinners (yes, plurar, as in like 3) instead and watched season 3 of The Wire.  It was just a total system failure of whopping proportions.  Of course with all the big news about Bin Laden Sunday night, it swept the whole day under the rug in my mind.

Since Sunday, though, I've started to turn things back around.  I ran Monday, and did the home route at a 30:32, which wasn't as bad as I hoped.  I needed to see a 32+ time after all this slacking off.  I shouldn't just be able to be almost completely counterproductive for nearly a week, not run for four days, and only gain a minute on a run where I'm not even pushing and my joints feel like rusted hinges.  I felt like I was almost being rewarded for my bad behavior by getting my 3rd or 4th best time on my own home route (that I've ran and timed for over a year now).  Yesterday, I put in another run, so at least I'm back to even on the exercise portion.  The Monday taco night, with the Tuesday taco left-overs put me in a deeper hole in the diet department, though.  Starting today I have to make up for all of this during the rest of the week, and over the weekend, though the other half of me is still screaming at me "Why?  The scale doesn't lie, bud, and you haven't gained a pound, enjoy yourself!"  Cue "The Munchies" ABC PSA from the 80s...