Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas Bonanza

I use the term Bonanza because not only did I make out like a bandit, I also ate like a horse.  We'll get to that, though.  First, I'd like to share a few holiday pointers that help me get through the season without losing my head, because there's a lot of you that turn into monsters out there.  That's just not within the spirit of the season.  Yelling at your elderly mother because she can't make speedy Christmas decisions about what, or if, she's going to buy something in front of your teenage daughter just doesn't send the best holiday message (or teach your daughter to respect you).  Trust me, if my mom makes it to that age, I'll just be happy she's around and I'll wheel her all over the Piggly Wigglies of the world if she wants me to (though we still may still argue politics along the drive).  Anyway, I know it's too late for Christmas, but these seasonal tips can be adjusted for year round purposes:

#1 - No matter how good or how bad you are at Christmas presents, remember that the people that love you will still love you the same either way.

#2 - Don't think of people out in the world during the holidays as rational beings capable of thought.  Think of them as nothing more than objects in space that you have to navigate around to your objectives.  Let's face it, people during the holidays don't have their minds about them, and you can't assume they can think.  I just think of myself as Han Solo in that asteroid field, and expect things to get in the way.  Navigate around and avoid any damage to the Millennium Falcon and be on your way.  This works for the driving, the store, or wherever.



#3 - Reflection not perfection.  Remember the big picture during the holidays and life in general.  It's great you want to create a perfect Christmas for your family.  There's hardly a person alive that doesn't, but the most important thing at Christmas is having a calm, relaxing day with your family and being thankful for the blessings you have been given (even in  especially in the rough years).

I had to reboot this calming holiday program this year, because I just could not think of any gift ideas for anyone.  Normally, I am a cool as a moose in Manitoba, but it got to be two weeks before Christmas, I had nothing for anyone, and I was sick.  I was just blanking.  It was awful.  Instead of panicking, moping (too much), or lashing out, I just decided to follow my wife to a few of her shopping locations and hope things strike me as I go.  That worked out just fine, and she's a wonderful collaborator when it comes to gifts for my mom and sister.  I've haven't bought so many gifts without aid of the internet in ages.

With that out of the way, we had our friends mini-Christmas on the 23rd, which usually results in a good mess of present unwrapping carnage, loads of dirty plates and glasses, and bottles of beer strung all over the house.  It was a little tamer this year thanks to the two growlers in the fridge (less bottles) and some of the usual friends missing because of moving and/or spending the holidays out of state.  I also planned on moving the party to the Electric Six show at Saint Andrews, but I didn't get any takers, which was too bad, because they covered this:


Christmas Eve, both of our families were coming over, and other than the Christmas cookies made the night before, it was up to me.  My wife had to work, and she wasn't going to get home until 5:30.  We told everyone about 6ish, but still expected her dad earlier (he's always early), and maybe even as early as the start of the Lions game.  I figured I should be done cleaning about 3ish, then start work on food while taking in consideration prep and/or cooking times.  With one of the family members now knowing they have a gluten allergy, I had to take that into consideration as well, and make a few substitutions.  Long story short: the house got really clean, my brother and father-in-law swear I made the best meatballs they've ever had, cheeseballs are very easy to make and this is a bad thing for me to know, and gluten-free Rice Krispie treats taste the same as regular ones.  I'm a big hit everywhere I go, even when I stay home, and my wife is really lucky I can handle myself around the house.  I know a lot of clueless men and women out there that can't pull this off.  The success goes double considering I did the bulk of my genius while the Detroit Lions were knocking the snot out of the Chargers in the first half.

Lions?  Playoffs?!  Merry Christmas to me!
Needless to say, we had a wonderful Christmas Eve with the families.  We also went to her grandparents for the traditional spaghetti dinner on Christmas Day and over to her brother's place for some grilling on Monday.  There's nothing better than grilled food in the winter.  As far as the loot, let's just say I received several gifts that will complete my goals of becoming an old man (including a very nice cardigan and a long topcoat).  I also received two that will continue my determination/dysfunction battle in the running universe.

Brewing Kit!!!!
Hydration Pack

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