Cheaters Never Win. (A Volksläufe Story)

Have you ever had one of those situations where you see a hole in a system, and you think you can exploit it for some reward?  Whether the reward is monetary, a savings of time, or just getting a leg up on the competition, you've found a shortcut to promise.

The only problem with this is, sometimes it completely backfires, in your face...hard.  This is one of those stories.  A story of a man that desperately wanted to take an illegitimate shortcut to a prize.  A man forsaking his people and trying to mix in with "the others."  I may not be proud of it, or the outcome, but this is my story, and I can't guarantee that I won't do it again...

Volksläufe 2013

For the first time, possibly ever, I did everything right the night before.  I ate a slightly carby meal.  I had no alcohol or caffeine.  I hydrated the entire day.  I even went to bed early enough to get a good night's sleep.

At 2:30am I woke up, and I could barely walk.  My knee was all locked up, and felt bad enough that I figured when I woke up to get ready for the race, I would be a DNS for the day.  Then, when I woke up at 5:30am, it wasn't even 1/4th of the pain.  So I got ready to go, and I dumped my traditional Detroit Tigers stars and stripes cotton shirt for the wicking Volkläufe shirt of 2 years ago.  I didn't really care if I was being "that guy" or not, it was the only light-colored shirt of its kind that was clean, and this race is always a scorcher.

They have eggs now too?  Next year we're running on a  makeshift McGriddle!

J came by, and we left for the race.  We picked up packets, and after a bit of milling around, discussion of strategy (camelpack yes/no, alternate running speeds to give breaks yes/no, etc.) went to get our traditional pre-Volksläufe pancakes from the Lions club.  Basically, in our opinion, your race doesn't count if you don't eat the pancakes.  Automatic DQ (and not the good one).

Mmmmm, and you'll taste them again at mile 7!

We made our way down to the corral, listened to both the Canadian and American national anthems, and watched the 10Kers take off.  We met up with another one of our running dudes we went to school with, and started talking about what we had to do.  We figured, to pull of the scheme we were planning, we had to come in at 2 hours flat for the 20K.  Any more than that, and the plan falls apart.

Now, mind you, there was no real reason to believe we could even pull that off.  Our best time there was 2:07/2:08 and that was two years ago.  Last year, we were 2:13/2:12.  The idea that we could go out there and maintain a 9:39 average pace over 12.4 miles was a ridiculous notion.  We haven't put in the training, and even at half the distance we were putting up 10:00-10:30ish pace.  J believed, but I had no faith.  I didn't even know why we were doing this.

After the bugle call to post, the gun went off, and it was on.  I knew I was going faster than I could maintain right off the bat, but I couldn't see the time of first mile being over 10 minutes on my watch.  If I had to give up later, okay, but I couldn't start out right in a hole.  It would have been too demoralizing.  Garmin's mile 1 beep...9:22.

I hit a good stride on mile 2, but again, knew it was too fast.  Garmin beeped...9:09.  Now it was a race to bank against the tank.  I knew I couldn't help things going sour at some point, but I had to do what I could to make it close and push as hard as I could to get close to the 2 hour mark.  I was willing to try hard enough to fail.

Mile 3...9:33
Mile 4...9:49 (bank over?)
Mile 5...9:37 (bank reopens)
Mile 6...9:37 ("I can just maintain this. It'll be alright")
Mile 7...9:41 ("Uh-oh getting tired")
Mile 8...10:08 ("I'm losing it, Pauly...")
Mile 9...10:26 ("Is this as fast as my legs are moving now?  Really?")
Mile 10...10:40 ("Man, I might even have to walk...")
Mile 11...10:57 ("Hills...ugh...nobody told me there would be hills."  "You've done this race before, you know about these."  "Shut up...me." "Hey!  There's Sparty.  Go high five him."  "Okay" "That guy yelled 'Go Green,' you know what to do" "Go White!")
Mile 12...10:45 ("Damnit, there are 5Kers coming at me.  I'm over 2:00 for sure")
Finish...("Water....water...")

So the 20K was over.  I knew J finished ahead of me.  I rushed up the hill to see if the plan was foiled yet, not knowing for certain.

So now we're to the big reveal...of our diabolical plan...

The successful criminal brain is always superior. It has to be!

After looking at race results from last year, J and I realized there was an opening for us to get an award at Volksläufe.  Our age groups, in the 5K walk category have very few participants.  This is because, if you're in your 30s, and not walking with your wife, you're probably not going to be there.  Last year, in my age group, there were only 3 men, meaning, if you showed up, you got an award.

Who wouldn't want this?

On the line is an authentic German beer stein. So, given our love of beer, J and I signed up for the 5K walk, hoping to be ringers and drink ourselves silly with one these wonderful steins. It would be a poetic vengeance for all the minutes stolen from us by walkers over the years. However, it meant we would have to become one of them. First though, we had to make it to the start of the 5K, and that's why we needed to hit the 2 hour mark. We thought we started at 8am, and the 5K started at 10am. Even regarding that, we were wrong, as it was 8:10am and 10:02am (for walkers). So we really needed a 1:52.

Anyway, as I got back up to the road where the 5K started, they were starting to take up the mats.  Figuring J was already on the move, I asked if I would still be able to get in.  They punched in my # somehow and told me to get on my way.  By this point, the pack was so far ahead, they could not be seen.  It was time to release my inner Dewey Cox and "Walk Hard."

Speed-Walking: "You don't want no part of this sh*t!"

As soon as I got started, I realized, this walking sh*t sucks.  I didn't care that I just ran a 20K, I wanted to run.  Also, I was the only one out there and had to stop twice and ask the volunteer which way to go, while they wondered why the hell I was still even out there.  It was kind of embarrassing being dead last in a 5K walk, and having to explain myself.  At some point in the race, I must have missed a turn.  Suddenly, I was walking against the 5Kers that were left, but kept going thinking maybe  I was just on my way to a turn-around.  I got to one point in the road, and realized, "Nope, I'm just a dumbass."  I still have no idea where I got crossed up, but that will happen when they're taking the cones and arrows down on you.

Anyway, I turned and walked back to try to catch the rest of the pack, as the 2K children ran past me toward the finish.  The only people I caught were pushing old age, or were walking with braces or crutches.  It was at about this point, that I kind of felt like a jerk for being there and passing them.  I finished in just a little under 3 hours of total time (so 2:56ish...subtract the 20K time and the time to get to the start).  Then I stood around for 12 minutes, found J, got a beer, and forgot that I hadn't stopped my Garmin yet.

For the 5K, I probably went over 4 miles, and since I didn't take the right route, even if I somehow got a stein, unless I was dead last (in my age group) on chip time, I would not accept it, because if you divert from route, you lose (at least I still have some standards).  However, when I looked at results, I didn't show up at all.  I wasn't in the 20K where I should be, and I wasn't showing up for the 5K.  Even so, with the added time of stopping, being lost, and adding over a mile, I wasn't going to place and have to stay around and explain that it should go to the guy behind me.  So we left.  I guess J didn't even go for the 5K because he thought they had already went and were picking up the starting mats.  So he had been wondering what happened to me for an hour.

We climbed into the car and left, defeated, with two shirts for the race, and nothing else to show for it.   The only consolation for me was that I had my best time at this race, and despite a really slow season, being hurt, and not training much, we did get close to that 2 hour goal.  How close, I would (hopefully) find out later.  J was still in disbelief that he didn't get under the 2 hour mark and was actually disappointed (which I found ridiculous, since he beat me and it was a huge 20K PR for him as well).  He said that getting under 2 hours was his main goal of doing this whole thing.  I admitted that my reason still revolved around beer mugs.

The unworn, non-sweaty one on the right is for sale (for as low as $0)

Will I ever try some sort of shenanigans like this again?  Did I learn my lesson?  I don't really know.  I'm sure I'll be enticed by those steins again, and I really don't see me ever hitting age group in the 20K run (unless I can keep this up to old age, which would be an amazing blessing that I can't think to count on).  The only time I'd consider it otherwise is if I'm doing the 20K at an easy 1:40-1:45, and if I have someone to do the walk with me as a cover (who won't mess around and will go fast with me).

For now, I just know that the whole process was a pain in the keister.  I even had contact the race organizers to get my times adjusted, because my 20K time, when it finally showed, was listed as over 3 hours (the time where I crossed for the 5K) because the bibs got mixed up.  It would have been even more warning against trying to beat the system if my 2:04:32 course/20K PR was lost, and I had to live with a 3 hour 20K on my record.  The 5K walk time is still probably wrong, and has extra time on it, but who cares about that?  I'm not a walker.  Walking is stupid.

Potential Uh-oh

I haven't had a run since J's revenge run of 6/20, where he dragged me about a minute's pace faster than I wanted through nearly 7 miles of paved trail in the heat (which literally makes me leak fluid all over the place). 
 

I don't think I bothered to mention my sore knee as an excuse on the Flushing run, because that went pretty well, but the truth is that Tuesday I kind of tweaked it a bit and it was doing a little grinding and popping on Wednesday morning.  Of course, as I usually do, I just ignore everything and run anyway (e.g. my right heel pain [still around], my outer left foot's soreness/random sharp pain, both of my feet having sharp pain at the top of the foot, near the ankle, etc.).  Like a small child afraid of monsters in the dark, when it comes to me and "injuries," I just figure everything will go away if I throw myself under a blanket and close my eyes.
 

So after running on it on Wednesday and it getting worse, I figured why not pile on and do the usual Thursday run (which we had every right to skip)?  That didn't go very well for me.  I was barely in walking shape that night, and it didn't feel incredibly better Friday, when I decided to stand on it for 4+ hours at the free Andrew WK gig at the Majestic (which was just a hot mess of a show, the people watching has never been so incredible at anything in my life).

In his classic all white outfit

 

Anyway, come Saturday (my usual longer run day), I finally wised up and said, "To hell with it, I'm not running today."  It's now Tuesday and I feel a bit better, but I'm reconsidering the usual run day again, even if it is just a short 30 minute one.  There's only a little over a week until Volksläufe, and there's probably a thin line right now between me getting better for it and screwing my leg up to the point where I won't be there. 

 

So any suggestions on how to simulate something resembling a tempo run that's low impact, let me know in the next couple hours.  Otherwise I may just be a big enough dummy to run.  I'd really like to hold off until Thursday, though.  It's getting better with rest and I think it will be alright by then.

Flushing 5K

As I've said several times before, I like this race because of its historic significance in my running habit.  This is the first official race where J and I paired up, and is essentially what cemented us as the dynamic duo of crazy running people in our circle of friends.  Sometimes all it takes is one random call saying, "You want to run this race in Flushing today?" 

Normally, this race is scorching hot.  Last year, I believe it was closing in on 95 degrees by race time, and we even were given lots of warnings to take it easy and get water along the way.  This year, we didn't get anything close to that.  Even though it was the hottest temperature of the day, we topped out at 76 degrees, and, although that's actually higher than it's been due to the odd colder temps we've been getting, it was a welcome reprieve.  I also think it's usually on a Thursday, and had I known it was Wednesday (which we only found out the day before), we could have cancelled our usual Tuesday tempo run (which always leaves us a little sore the day after).
When we got there, registration was quick and easy, and, as we lined up to go, it seemed a little less crowded than usual.  I'm not sure if it was actually less people or not.  I'll have to check when the full race results are published.  Anyway, we got going on time for once, and right off the bat I got clogged up behind a few people.  J took off like a shot and was bobbing and weaving around everyone with ease (he can fit through tighter spaces).  So right away, he had a HUGE lead on me.  Not only that, he was cranking those legs hard.  I didn't know if he was going that fast, or I was just going that slow, but I tried to keep up with him either way. 

Once we got to the first mile marker, I knew the answer.  The volunteer called out a 7:34 for me, and I knew it was a matter of him going that fast.  As soon as I heard that I couldn't help but just immediately back off.  I was frightened and confused about the time.  I think it was probably my fastest mile ever, in my life.  Maybe if I didn't hear the time I would have kept pushing, but I just almost immediately went slower.  It didn't help that I totally missed my water grab, and only accomplished knocking over a Dixie cup of water onto the ground (I'm smooth like that)

It's tough to tell whether that was a better decision to slow down in the end or not, though.  Despite the quick start, it seemed like I held my position pretty well.  Sure I was passed here and there, but I also kept pulling up ahead of people in my general vicinity.  Not only that, I was closing my gap on J (meaning, he didn't disappear whenever we weren't in a straight-away).  We got to the two mile mark and I really started to make a push.  "Only a mile to go?  I got this." 

Then we ran into a guy later saying, "This is the REAL 2 mile mark.  The last one was mismarked."  Son of a b*tch!  Now my pacing was thrown off, and mentally that just screws with you.  You think you have a mile to go (okay 1.1), you go another 1/4 mile, and suddenly, you still have a mile to go.  I was actually pretty frustrated, but, you know, small races.  What can you do?

I pulled up to water station #2 (which I believe is just #1 on the loop back), and ::drumroll please:: NAILED IT!  I wanted to do the celebratory water station chugga chugga hydration shuffle, but there was no time.  I would just have to do it mentally.  I turned the corner toward the big downhill by the church, pushing hard to catch J, looking to my right to see if my mom and sister happened to be there in their usual spot for the parade (not this year), and caught him at precisely the same spot as last year.  I'm sure, for that, he hates me.  That's probably why, when he felt good yesterday, he dragged me through a much faster paced 7 miler than usual, staying 3 to 50 feet in front of me at all times (and it was much hotter then). 

Anyway, I turned down Main toward the finish, putting in about all I had left to give, and just barely kept my lead, crossing at about 26:18 (26:04 official, a course best) and only being about 6 seconds ahead of J at the end.  Immediately headed for the water, and then we began the long 2 mile walk back to the school (which is all uphill).  We looked at our results, and got some more water.  I was super hungry and settled for a couple cookies, even though I didn't want them (no fruit this year). 

We met up with a friend at Gina's for some pizza, and then went over to his place for a drink.  I'm pretty happy with the race, but I'm guessing I could have done a little better (especially with the first mile). 

We both signed up for Volkslaufe.  Stay tuned for that one.  There is a big twist on what we're trying to do for that race this year.  I'm sure anyone reading this will fall into one of two camps when they find out what we're doing.  Those camps will be "That's hilarious." or "You guys are idiots."  Maybe both at the same time for a few (and that's pretty much my assessment).  We're going to have to really up the training next week.

"Although I May Flirt With All Kinds of Dirt"

Yep, that lyric from Depeche Mode's "To Have and To Hold" pretty much owned my brain during a good chunk of the Flirt With Dirt run.  It was impossible for it not to.  I spent a lot of time with the "Music For The Masses" album in my day.

As far as the race itself, I do believe it's one of the more enjoyable experiences I've had.  The parking situation was super easy.  I got there about an hour early, which, for some races, can still be a nightmare.  Not the case here.  I paid $5, they waved me back several times, and eventually I was parked on top of a hill only about 200 yards from the start and packet pick-up.  I really can't remember too many races I've traveled to that were this simple, and didn't have you waiting in a long line of cars to get parked. 

You don't get much closer than this (no zoom)

This left me with a lot of time to stand around and talk to people.  Unfortunately J was not with me due to the race selling out and him not signing up earlier.  I did run into someone we know though, and he was doing the 5K (won the age group too).  I even got to see him and a good chunk of the other 5Kers file on in, because we were starting 30 minutes after them.  Pretty much half of the 10K runners were a cheering section for the 5K.

Shortly after watching some of the leaders come in, we lined up for our race.  I lined up (optimistically) with the 10 minute people.  I was hoping to stick with most of them and make a go at actually having a good trail race for once.  In the end, this was probably a good decision.

We started off down a hill, making a half loop around a soccer field, and then we were on a gravel road heading into the trail.  It felt like a good pace off the start for me.  Once we got into the deep woods, it was really calm and peaceful, almost to the point you could be lulled to sleep.  Had it not been a little chilly, I could have seen stopping for a nap.  Even the runners themselves were pretty quiet out there.  Trail runs usually have a lot of loud, boisterous riff-raff, but everyone for this one (at least near me) seemed very subdued.  You had to listen close to even hear a quiet "passing on your left" here and there throughout the race.  I think the only yelling I heard was directed at someone that dropped something and a person behind them trying to get their attention to return it.

Like a lot of trail runs, you get parked behind someone you want to pass, and you kind of debate it for a while.  I never really know when to do it or not, because I know I'm not the most steady-paced person.  My miles vary so much that sometimes I'd be better off just staying behind someone to even out the pace.  This time, though, I think I made all good decisions.  Everyone I went by stayed back there, and the people I eventually pulled up behind for the last 2 miles were kind of towing me in to the finish.

The one thing that made this race more fluid, though, was the fact there aren't any real hills.  Unlike the other two races in the series (Trail, Legend), this trail run is almost dead flat.  Sure there are hills, but nothing that an average (or even below average) runner is going to get beat up by.  Like any trail race there are a lot of roots, rocks, and uneven spots, so you do have to be careful of that.  Also there are a few places with some quick drops in the path.  So if you're following someone too close, you may not realize that nature put a step there for you.  Sometimes your fellow runners will let you know, and sometimes you find out for yourself.  All of those obstacles are a lot easier when you're only going a little over 6 miles.  The feet never really get lazy on you for that distance.

Zonked, and have no idea why my tongue is out

I ended up pulling in with a time of 1:10:15 and a net time of 1:07:49, which was good enough for...well...nothing. After I finished, I grabbed a quick water and one of those blueberry muffins that I was hoping would still be there when I finished. That muffin was gooooooood! Just another reason to like this race. It was just a really laid back, relaxing, good time. I just wish it wasn't so early, because I realized when I left, it was only 9:30, and there is just no finding beer that early. So, because of that, I just went home, made some eggs and relaxed.

Muffin Deliciousness

Shirt/Bib

Yeah, I didn't exactly do this entry in a timely fashion.  I've been swamped with life (in a good way).  Flushing 5K tomorrow (and the post for it over a week later, I'm sure)

I Run For the Ice Cream

I know it's been a while.  There hasn't been all that much worth reporting, though.  To be honest, I did not do a single running race all of May.  It was pretty unbelievable when I realized it, but the entire month had come and gone and the only event I did was the Tour de Crim. Sure there was that one awesome trail run where we found the links of the Genesee Trail to the Flint Trail system, but that wasn't organized.  That was just J and I trying to get lost in the woods.

I love the logo

Yesterday was the Diplodash Ice Cream Bash.  I believe this used to be the Retread, so we had to do it.  That and completely undoing your exercise with ice cream is just something that's near and dear to my heart.  The only drawback was they weren't taking old shoes with the soles worn down for that charity that resoles them and gives them to needy people, so I still have 3 pairs of old shoes in my back seat.

I didn't know what to expect.  I haven't had a 5K since March, and that one was pretty slow.  I haven't been able to gain any speed lately, even on short runs, so I didn't have very high expectations.  Time-wise, I was thinking of shooting for a 27:somthing, but mainly I just wanted to go all out and push as hard as I could, for as long as I could, and give it everything I've got.

 

 

When we started, I realized that the race course was also the same as the Retread, and knowing where to go and how long until the next turn or until the race is over can mean a lot.  I saw a few familiar people that I used to try to keep up with before (when I was better), and I though if I could try to keep up with them it would help too.  J blew out in front of me, but I kept some of the familiars close in front of me.

That only lasted about halfway through though, and I started to drop ground to them.  I don't think I was slowing down.  They were just making their second half push, and I was huffing and puffing and already in top gear, so there was nothing I could do.  Just after where the mile 2 marker used to be (no markings this year), I caught J and dragged him along for much of the rest of the race.  He dropped back just behind me with a 1/2 mile to go, and pretty much stayed there about 20-40 feet behind me.  The good thing about that is I probably kept him lined up ahead of some other people in his age group (he's not gone up out of mine), and he got a pretty nice award.

Still love the logo

 

To tell the absolute truth, I don't think I've ever pushed myself harder in a 5K.  I never let off the throttle and I was pushing myself to the point where I was considering doing the unthinkable and stopping to walk in a 5K.  I was just being that hard on myself.  My legs were on fire, my lungs were burning, every breath felt like it just wasn't enough to sustain me for the next one.  I kept thinking to myself that this must be how the real runners push themselves to win races every single time they go out.  I don't think that's something I could ever get used to.

I pulled in with the clock time just above 26 minutes and as soon as I stopped, I wanted to go lay down.  The more dominant feeling, though, was that I felt like I was going to throw up and I even walked, half bent over, away from the finish just in case.  Luckily that passed, I got some water, and then went over to get some ice cream (Mint Chocolate Chip!).

One of my favorites

The run was sponsored, partially, by Baskin Robbins, and they were handing out coupons at the finish and by the YMCA.  I think the universal sentiment was, "Where the heck is there a Baskin Robbins around here."  To be honest, I didn't know we even had one, and I don't think anyone else did either.  Now, mind you, this is also a crowd of running, healthy people, so it's not necessary a representative sample.  The coupons didn't say where they're located, and I still haven't bothered to look.  Also, I think I lost the coupons, but, Baskin Robbins, we'll always have the YMCA...

Thanks Baskin Robbins!

We popped in to check our official times and J age-grouped, as I mentioned.  I came in about 7th with a 25:55, which fits in as my 3rd best 5K of all time (I'll take it!).  I'm hoping this will get me going a bit with the speed.  I've been trying to work some tempo runs in, but I think what will help most is just getting some more distance.  It's been a little rougher this year with me being the pushy one, but I think we'll get there.  I've also dropped about 10 pounds in the last two months, and kept it off.  My wife is on this healthy kick and stopped bringing junk into the house.  That makes things a lot easier.  Although, I will admit I did bring in some Hostess substitutes this week because I miss the Twinkie.  I couldn't help it.  I give myself some credit for not deep frying any (yet).

We popped downtown for a bit for some beer.  We went to the Torch and had a Short's Huma, and I followed that up with an Arcadia Whitsun.  Then we went over to The Loft and shared a $10 pitcher of Fat Tire (and that was a big pitcher...almost 5 pints worth).  There was a lot of talk of old memories and laughing there.  That and we were watching this guy who some birthday girl in a nice dress was talking to (instead of her friends), and were rooting for him to successfully complete the process.  Tall, weird-looking dude, I hope you at least got her number.

I've got Flirt With Dirt tomorrow, which I almost forgot about, because I thought it was July 8th, not June 8th.  J was going to join, but it is "Sold Out," so I guess I'm going alone.  We'll see how that goes.  I've never really done a 10K on trail before, so how to pace that out will be interesting.  Either way, it's an auto-PR. 

I'm open to suggestions on where to go around that area.  I haven't been down to bars in Novi in years and it was always in that strip-mall sorta place with the Post Bar and the Irish place (and The Library Bar across the street).

The Tour de Crim

Excited for my first biking event, and also staying up and watching too many early 70s Doctor Who episodes, I didn't get much sleep Friday night.  Basically, I got none.  I think I crawled into bed at maybe 7am and woke back up about 9.

I gathered up my water bottle, my camera, my bike helmet, and some money and I.D. (for the bar after), and headed out on my bike toward downtown about 10:30.  The ride started at 11:00, but I live close.  I dressed how I would for a run in the weather we had (shorts and long sleeves), which, as I rode through the biting wind, realized it was probably too cold, but not cold enough that I was going to turn back and change.  I found J, and we met up in the big flat lot downtown with everyone else.  I saw a ton of bikes and even 2 of those "Elliptigo" (eliptical and bike in one) things.

They're crazy ass expensive too!

We lined up to go as one of the organizers talked about some of the things to expect, told us to be careful, and talked about the sponsors.  Then Riley (a.k.a. The Drubbler) led us through the national anthem.  I said hello to one of my neighbors and friends, who had a big hand in getting this whole thing together, and we were off.

Look at all the bikes!

J and I rode side by side from the start.  The plan (for me anyway) was just to stick together and enjoy it.  Then he had a pedal issue, and fell a little behind.  At about 2 miles in, he was still in view behind just over my left shoulder.  Then just about 2 1/2, I remembered to turn on my Garmin, and pulled off to get that started up and going (it wasn't even on).  I didn't see J pass me, and figured he was still behind and having pedal issues as I pulled into obstacle 1 (not to be confused with the Interpol song). I parked my bike, and I ran through some tires, limboed (it's a verb now) under the PVC crossbars and walked back toward my bike.  Then I saw the good folks at Good Beans were giving out coffee, and because I love them (and because I love coffee) I decided to get a mini cup and just hang out and enjoy it to see if I could find J again.

I was trying to look excited about coffee.
Slight expression failure.

Eventually I gave up, and figured he must have blown right by me at some point.  I headed out of the obstacle corral and booked it down University to the Chevrolet turn and remembered that I was supposed to be enjoying this, it's not timed, and I slowed down again before heading into Mott Park Neighborhood.  There was a guy in his lawn chair just enjoying the race with a bottle of champagne, welcoming us to "Champagne Corner."  Yes, I turned back immediately to get a good picture of him.

...And now a fine glass of a "Sham-pahn-ya"

Halfway through Mott Park was obstacle 2.  It's amazing how much adults love it when the bounce houses are actually for them.  Grown men and women just don't have enough opportunities in this life to play inside giant inflatables.  Something must be done about that.  As I got to the front, two guys wanted me to cut so they could race each other through the obstacle.  So I went with a nice girl about my age who asked me if I wanted to race.  I said "alright," and that sh*t was on!  So when the volunteer said go, I booked through the hole, between the rollers, through the hoop, down the gauntlet, and up the inflatable peg wall.  I had a huge lead so I hung up on top to look down on my beaten opponent before eventually sliding down the other end.

Nothing like a go in the bouncy castle to take your mind off of things

Coming out of the second obstacle I heard that some woman had her shoes taken.  I'm sure it was one of those innocent things where another woman, who has those exact shoes but wore another pair that day, just happened to pick them up on accident.  She probably won't even realize the mistake until she gets home and places them down right next to her pair of shoes that looks identical and will have a nice "Oh my, I'm a shoe klepto!" moment.  Somehow they hooked her up with some shoes to finish, but that does kind of stink.  I'm not sure what you can do about it though, because you can't have shoes in an inflatable, it's just not cricket.

We were finally at the Bradley Hills area, which is pretty tough to run.  Biking them proved a pretty good challenge as well.  I really had to drop gears and I was still cruising past a lot of people.  It was a tough climb.  I can't imagine the Elliptigo people and what they had to go through for that.  I honestly think they might be tougher to bike than run, because you have to maintain at least some speed on a bike or you start rolling back or slow down enough to where the bike is tipping over.  A lot of people walked up them, and I can't say I blamed them.  I was happy to have an 18 speeder.

About mile 6 1/2 we detoured just a small bit off from the Crim route to Sarginson Park for obstacle 3, which was some nets at different heights off the ground that you had to military crawl through.  I picked the lowest, hardest one, and was told I went through backwards and had to go again.  That volunteer was just screwing with me.  It worked, she totally got me.  I'm not sure there was a backwards, because I saw people going every which way through them

Obstacle 3

After obstacle 3, I was feeling pretty energetic.  It was time to pump hard and get this race done.  I'd enjoyed myself, and I wanted to get back for a brew.  So I booked through 7 and 8 and pulled off for obstacle 4.  There you were supposed to climb through raised hula hoops, then tiptoe through a ladder on the ground, and come back jumping some mini-hurdles.  I nearly wiped out not taking enough steps between hurdles and jumping too soon before one.  Luckily I had just enough air to clear it.  I still slipped and almost wiped out, but, again, managed to save myself from grass stain doom.

Not a camera trick.  Those hoops were tiny.

After Obstacle 4 they gave me a free Tour de Crim water bottle.  There was no place for me to put it because I did not come with packs strapped to my bike like a few of those prepared people.  I thought I was doing good having the water bottle holder and properly inflated tires.  I just ended up putting the extra bottle in my waistband and hoped it would stay there.


I killed the last 2 miles off quick and turned back down Saginaw to finish.  I got my finisher medal, pulled into the flat lot, parked my bike, and locked it up.  I didn't see J, so I thought maybe he hadn't finished, so I went back and watched for him for a while.  I didn't see him, so I went back down to the tent to get my free beer with my bib ticket.  It was Shorts Local's Light, which is probably the best light beer ever made.  It's actually pretty citrusy and really reminds me of some summer ales, even if it is a lager style.  They also had some bread from this place called crust that was fantastic.  I wanted to steal a giant loaf Seinfeld marble rye style and go running down the street.

Look at that stuff!

I found J, and we watched this band of kids playing cover songs for a while.  They were pretty young, but actually really fairly decent for their age.  They'll all be pretty talented if they keep with it.

These kids are awesome

After watching the kids play for a bit, and watching the raffle where it seemed like 90% of the winner had bibs in the 100s, we had a beer over at the Churchill's, and called it a day.  It was a great event, and I had a lot of fun.  Sometimes it's nice to do untimed events where you can just kick back and enjoy it.  For a first time event, everything seemed to go very smooth.  There were absolutely no instances where I felt the bikers were in danger, which was especially important.  We had lanes blocked off nicely, and all crosses were manned by police officers that traffic will actually stop for and listen to. 

I was really impressed, because I've seen some 1st time events be a bit of a mess, and I've heard about some real bad ones.  The Tour de Crim was just a really fun, safe, family-friendly time, and I'm sure almost everyone walked (or rode) away saying how much they enjoyed it.  If it's around again next year, which I'm sure it will, I plan on returning.  Hopefully it becomes a big staple in this town and grows.  I'll do what I can to promote it, just as I did this year.

Medal and Bottle

First Biking Event Ever

Tomorrow is the 1st ever Tour de Crim, put on by the Crim Fitness people.  It is a 10 mile bike ride with 4 obstacle stops (which I have no idea about), that covers the same 10 mile course as the Crim Festival of Races.  This will also be my first biking event ever.  Luckily, it will not be timed, and I'm assuming it will be a little easier to bike this route than run it.

We'll see how it goes.  I'm breaking out the purple Mongoose bike.  I'm going to see if it needs a new tube for the front tire tomorrow (I'm guessing yes).  Also, I have now equipped myself with a water bottle holder and helmet for my biking needs.  Certainly these are things that bikers do, but, you see, I'm not officially one of you until after tomorrow.

Shirt, Bibs, Tie Thingies, and 10% off Churchills (score!)

In the meantime, the non-biker in me wants to know, what's up with this "bike bib" thing?  Where does it go?  I know some of you are triathlon people.  There's like 3 bread twist tie things that came with it, but I know as much about how to use them as I know about how to use the 3 seashells in "Demolition Man."

What the H?