Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Super Fatty Sabotage Island

Disclaimer:  This is a true story.  The events of this blog (namely the food part) has not been exaggerated for dramatic purposes.

First thing you need to know is that Jessi was tubing with some girls and I was left unsupervised here with no real grand plans for the weekend.  My goal:  to keep as occupied as possible.  Now, most men I'm sure would love a little time away from their lady to cut loose, but we have so much fun together and, unlike many women I hear about (exaggerated I'm sure), she has no desire to stop me from having fun and enjoying life.  So when she's gone, if I try to think "Well if I have time to myself I can do _______," I don't really come up with much that's worth doing.  In fact the only things that I can really do while she's gone that I can't while she's here fall in three boring categories:  comics, guy movies, and video games.  I like those things, but I'm not lame enough to drop an entire weekend (or more than 4 hours collectively) on them.

I needed company.  So I had Joe come over and we drank some beer and hard cider while watching the Tigers.  

Unfortunately he bailed on me due to some sort of personal drama, and I got left alone.  Not long after that I had the most epic fast food meltdown.  Maybe it was the slight low blood sugar from the alcohol (which wasn't all that much for a 5+ hour span), maybe it was boredom, or maybe I just lashed out with food the way pets lash out at a house when you leave them alone.  Either way, I was knee deep in fast food from two places right before bed on the eve of a race.

The total carnage?

Taco Bell
2 - 7 Layer Burritos
2 - Beefy 5 Layer Burritos
1 - Cinnamon Twist
1 - 32 oz Baja Blast that that's out of the way...What?...More?...How is that humanly possible?

4 - Mcdoubles (not a misprint)

Yeah tally the callys if you want.  I already have.  It makes my heart sad (just like the spackling of my arteries from this did at the time).

I woke up the next morning still full, and pretty sickly feeling as well.  I still managed to get rolling (not literally), and made it out of the door.  I made the drive down to Detroit's Belle Isle and parked for the race.  Every time i go to Belle Isle, I realize it's been too long since the last time I've been there.  It's not really right near downtown, and it's easy to forget about, but as far as city park's go, it's pretty wonderful.
Scott Fountain
Detroit, Windsor, and the Ambassador Bridge

These are two of the several nice views of the city from Belle Isle.  There's a lot more on the island itself, even inland there are small lakes and ponds all over, not to mention a small nature zoo, museum, and a casino.  There's even a yacht club, which pretty much shatters the stereotype that nobody in the city has any money.  It's also a lot more laid back than most city parks.  There aren't any overly stringent rules that hinder the park's experience, and you can grill, have a brew, set up a volleyball net, and go about your day.  I really would love to lobby to have our family reunions there, but people are still afraid of Detroit.

As far as the race itself.  When it started at 8:30, I was still digesting burritos.  I felt like ass, and off the start my legs weren't worth a darn.  I never felt worse for a race in my life and this 10K nearly wrecked me.  During the loop around the island, I nearly threw up twice.  It was just over 80 degrees at the start, and it was direct sun all the way around.  I didn't even feel like I had a decent pace going until the thing was almost over.  Even after, I felt like this lion.
I Feel You, Buddy
I never did stop to walk, but my time was still crappy by my new standards (1:03:39), and it took a while to get my bearings.  So I went back to the car for a bit, and sat and drank some water, and took this photo of me being disgusted.
Then I took some more pictures, and decided I was going to go swimming.  Of course everyone's heard all the horror stories of the Detroit River, but they've done a lot to clean up the place, especially after 2005.  The water was clear and the beach was clean, so I went for it.

The result:
A Much Happier and Cooler Me!
Of course while I was doing this I was supposed to be getting tickets for the Tigers game for my friends and my phone blew up with them freaking out.  I was supposed to call them and let them know our status by 11:00, but I didn't get around to it until 1:00.  I was too busy enjoying water, and the scenery.  They can wait.  Besides, they should know by now I'm not dependable when it comes to a timeline.  Besides, I also had to take a walk through the city drinking a Blue Faygo and take a picture of it for no reason.

I Love Faygo (and wardrobe changes apparently).
 The shirt (in case you're wondering) says
"Chicago's 3 Greatest Disasters:  The Fire, The Flood, The Sox".
 We did go to the game, though.  After that I went to Steely Dan at the Fox Theatre, and I didn't get home until 1am.  So I had a full day and I kept myself out of trouble (other than the 3 PBR's Mike talked me into at the game...not large ones, just the 12ers). Jessi got back Sunday, and I've been running and dieting off the Friday binge ever since.  I still don't think I've made up for it.  I'm not sure what can, but I think running in heat advisories the last two days in 90+ temps is a start. 
That's a Pretty Full Day

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