Back By Popular Demand...

Let's face it kids, you all missed the fatty fat fatty, did you not?

As you all know, today is (part of) Fat Tuesdayweek.  I'm sure there's some of you out there trying to get in shape, or already superior physical specimens out there saying to yourselves today, "Oh dear lordy bee, I had me-self a half a paczki and I feel soo bay-ad."  Meanwhile in America's High Five State, a man is running the gauntlet of every bad food he can tap into for the week before the clock strikes midnight and Lent begins, and it's all over for him (and running season seems to truly begin). 

Sure, I've had a good start to the year, but Fat Tuesday is a tradition, so I'm sticking with it.  A few years ago, I started stretching it out to a week Tuesday-Tuesday, because trying to fit all my favorite horrible things into one day is impossible and digestively aggravating.  Let's see what's on the board...

February 14th/7th Annual FVD Holiday Extravaganza
This requires a back-story.  I'll try to be brief.  In 2006, I got tired of being depressed on Valentine's Day.  The 14th is dad's death anniversary (2003), so if I wasn't alone on that day, usually my sh*tty attitude would make it so, and after already doing it twice, I wasn't about to just let that cloud hang over my head for life.  I called up a couple single bros and left them voicemails basically saying, screw (we used a more vulgar word) the holiday for making single people feel like a group of society's defectives and making us cower in our homes, let's go out to the bar.  We went out to the loft, we owned that bar for that night (much like we owned any bar in those days), and thus began FVD and this idea that we were the "undisputed 'Kings' of this town." 

Now that we're old, and that title has passed, two things from that night still remain:  the pledge that we'd celebrate together on that day, single or not, and not bail on our friends and when we say goodbye, we count the number of us out on our hands in unison and throw those fingers up on the top of our heads as a crown.  I think initially it started off as a cynical anti-love thing for a few of us, but it's grown into more of an inclusive thing that everyone looks forward to.  My wife secretly still gets her flowers, and dinner, and she gets drinks of top of it.  We usually end up doing more with our friends that night than we'd ever do by ourselves.  I think it's become a really nice tradition, and, no, we're not out trying to ruin anything for you mushy couples...it's never been about that, even though you may look over and realize we're having more fun than you.  Also we've made matching T-Shirts since the 2nd one, which usually turns out to be either awesome or a total nightmare.  This is because we never plan a thing ahead ever, and get the whole thing, including the design, together after work.

2012 Logo

My Wife's FVD card to me. It pretty much ruled my universe, much like her.

Anyway, chalk me up for a huge burger at Ashley's in Ann Arbor (first time we took this show outside of Flint or Detroit).  They have half the world on tap so I had a St. Feuilliien/Green Flash Biere De L'Amitie , two Founders All Day IPAs, and a Primordial Porter.  Then I finished up my shoestring fries with my wasabi sauce.

Feb. 15th
Hello buy one get one BK Chicken sandwich...two original please...

Feb 16th
I forgot and I ate healthy...stupid, stupid, stupid

Feb 17th
BK chicken again, originals again.  Ate both slow enough to realize they now taste a little like ground cardboard.  Then some night time rice krispie treats made by yours truly.

Feb 18th
It was my last pre-Lent chance to test this Five Guys place.  I still have never been to one and there was one within striking distance of the beer run my wife and I were on.  So we stopped and each of us got a burger and split a fry and a diet Barq's.  Cajun fries are good, but nothing you can't make at home, and the burgers are good, but it's about the same as a Halo Burger only thinner and taller.

Cajun

After the Five Guys, we had our "Super Boris Funtime Party," watching Russian-themed movies while trying to purge the excess wedding vodka.  We managed to kill a bottle of Smirnoff, and drank a few Russian/Ukrainian beers that we realized had been expired for over a year but bought anyway.  The beer store must not move Russian beer too often.  I also realized I may have missed my calling as a bartender.

Small Carnage

Feb 19th
Sunday was Lucky's with my wife, brother, and sister for lunch.  So it was chicken parmesan, side of alfredo, and a lot of Dr. Peppers.

Then I picked up some Kroger Jammed Cookie Dough ice cream later that night.
Feb 20th
I finally had my first Taco Bell of the year.  24 total layers of burrito (two 7's, two beefy 5's)

Then, for dinner, it was time to raise the red roof...

My wife, her dad, and I destroyed a large onion and green pepper pizza, 22 wings, and a 5 piece breadstick.  Oh, and then a few hours later I knocked out a package of pizza rolls.

Fat Tuesday
After yesterday I couldn't even think about eating until maybe noon.  I've since made up some ground, and here comes the grand finale:

*Finalized Results*
2 Bavarian Creme Paczkis
1 16" Big John Steak and Cheese
A 5 mile run with Jason........wait, what the hell?  Didn't you just eat a lot of food?  Yes, but I am not human.
2 McDoubles
10 piece Chicken Nugget
2 pints of ale
48 oz of Coca-Cola
1 giant size Mallo Cup 4 pack
1 Raspberry Paczki
2 Tater Tots (yep just two)
A handful of gumballs
1 12 oz bottle Founders Dirty Bastard

...and that's it for the time being.  I will update if there's any more, but I feel semi-pregnant and there is no room at the food inn, so I figured I'd write you all and give you the food collapse that you all so missed.  Especially since this year I'm going to get very serious and snap back into gear tomorrow, when I magically turn into a very healthy, helpful, and contributing individual.  I also tend to enter what the Brewers called "Beast Mode" last year about this time.  First up on the hit list is probably the Corktown Race.  I will see you all on the other side.

Oh, and Friday we're going to bring home our Corgi puppy.  His name is "Renfield."

Renfield two weeks ago

5F3 (You know the drill)

Saturday

Not that the popper calories counted (see clown from the last entry)
Still considering the possibility it wasn't their fault because
I love them too much

Sunday

Olive Garden: Stuffed Rigatoni with Chicken



Yes, I know I was just at the OG last week.  I pretty much go there every Sunday because, for some reason, my family loves it too much to go anywhere else.  I can think of at least 3 better Italian joints (let alone restaurants in general) within a 2 mile radius.  Oh well, I'm almost always out-voted, and the creatures of habit get their way. 

Had a few of these as well...

...and one of these...

Monday

I still really love eggnog,  even after Dave Attell
revealed what it REALLY is made from. Had 3 glasses
Monday. 

If you insist on looking up Dave Attell's take on what eggnog is, I can NOT be held responsible.  Keep in mind the comedy album was called "Skanks for the Memories."  Also, keep in mind that it's Dave Attell.

In addition to the usual occasional beer I also have been drinking a lot of wine lately. Had 3 glasses between dinner (where I made some real good, real low cal eggplant parm.) and reading time.

Hey, those left-over boxes of  wedding
wine aren't going to drink themselves...

Tuesday
Out of curiosity, I had to see what the deal was with these Flint-style vegan Coney Dogs at the new "Vegan Soul Hut" place.  Interestingly enough that venture has merged with a regular barbecue and full on meat place, and they seem to get along fine.  Tried two of the regular ones, and one of the vegan ones.  Honestly, with whatever they're putting in the sauce and how spicy it is, I couldn't tell much of a difference.


Flint-style Coneys x 3



Wednesday

I barely ate anything Wednesday, and then ran on top of it.  When I finally got home "dinner" was just some cornbread (the good way with the creamed corn and all) and coffee spiked with some irish cream.



















Thursday
I was doing just fine until Jessi showed up with her father and they wanted me to go to
We got our usual green pepper/red onion deep dish.

Swerved all over "Wing Street" too



















Also had my first Steel Reserve 211 in 10+ years.  I haven't had one since I was a broke college kid and they had them for 87¢ out-the-door.  Some things should remain in the past.

Friday
Left-over pizza, more wine, more nog.



Bonus F
Fozzie Bear

I'm excited about the Muppet Movie coming out next week.  I'm happy that they continue to thrive today, in an environment where decent entertainment is hard to come by.  The best thing is, they can be around forever.  Puppets don't have to ever age or die.  The Muppets can be around as long as we love them.  Who wants to see an old Fozzie Bear still trying to make it as a comedian or even as a successful one that loses his edge and does horrible movies for years on end (e.g. Eddie Murphy or Adam Sandler)?  Nobody wants to see Fozzie mature or get old.  It would be sad watching him all old and wobbly in his Wakka Wakka Walker.