Follow That Beard! (River Bank Run Pt. 2)

After crawling out of the man made ditch I made in the right side of the super soft mattress, waking up to both the alarm and the Grand Rapids buses that make a "meep meep" sound like the Muppet barbershop quartet covering Nirvana, I started getting myself ready for the long run ahead.  I carted all my stuff back to the car so my lady didn't have to cart my stuff too, because she was probably going to have to be out of the there before I got back.  Making a last minute reach into my bag for something, I ended up cutting my finger nice and open on my razor.  I tried to stop it as much as possible, but I needed to get a band-aid, which forced me to wake up my poor wife hours before she had to, because there are magic wormholes in ladies' purses and I would never find them myself.

With that crisis averted, I went downstairs to eat some free hotel breakfast, and watched some of the 5Kers cruise on by us.  Then I hopped up in the elevator to make a quick trip back to the room.  I decided to take my camera.  I shared the elevator with a big group of ladies who introduced themselves.  The only name I remembered was Lisa, but that's because her name was printed twice on her shirt.  That helps.

What didn't help was all the bladder nerves I was getting for this one.  I guess there's a first time for everything.  Luckily I got ahold of myself and started walking to the corral.  As soon as I walk in and take my spot between the 10 and 10:30 pacers, I hear my name, and wondered who the heck was calling me, and it was Lisa's group again.  We wished each other good luck, and before I knew it, we were off.

Making Way to the Corral

One thing I noticed immediately was the amount of support out on the roads for us.  In a way it was almost overstimulating getting that rush right off the bat, and everywhere you looked for that first stretch was a sign of inspiration.

Right off the bat, you want to set a goal.  I like to set goals based off someone I see in front of me keeping a good pace.  Some people like to pick people with inspirational shirts or a shirt of a race they like.  Some people like to choose a person with an attractive posterior.  My selection process is a little bit weirder, and this time I chose to keep up with this dude with a sweet beard.  I just figured it would get sweaty and scratchy and he would slow down.  Either that, or he would get Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer urges and "run off into the hills...or something."  Either way, I figured I could keep up with him.

That's right Keyrock, I'm coming for you!

After running away from the city, we ducked onto a trail, where I was bored to tears because everything looked the same for MILES!

Yay, this for 8 miles.  "I'm having a good time....not"

I'm pretty sure this was one of the most monotonous riverside runs I've ever had.  I know people say that this is a great course, but after all that excitement off the get-go, this lull killed me.  There's very little variation or color in the vegetation, little to no animals, and the river is so dead slow here it could be mistaken for a giant mud puddle.  Sure there were spurts of spectators rooting us on here and there along this stretch, but it was just enough to keep me awake.

When I woke up, I was at the halfway point...

I had held off using the reserves for long enough.  It was time to start moving faster.  I started to really move, and I felt like I could do so all day.  Watch out beard man, I'm coming for you...

Beard guy still at the left of frame.

I think it was about mile 9 that we started to climb a little bit, and there was actually a nice view off to the left...

...and my bearded friend (I'm a stalker)

About mile 10 or so we took a left by a DJ booth playing Beastie Boys "Fight For Your Right" and, feeling a sudden tiredness, I called upon the ghost of MCA for strength, and he obliged by carrying me really well for another 2 miles.  

Other than a small loss of strength two miles back, I was starting to pick up speed and really looking forward to finishing off strong.  Around the time we ran into the Coke bottling place I was good too, but shortly after everything stopped for me.  The 12.5-13.5 mile stretch, for some reason, was the hardest mile I've ever ran in my life.  I just lost it.  I didn't lose it just in my speed, either.  I've thought I hit walls before.  I hadn't.  This was a wall.  I wasn't willing out more than a step ahead, and I was done.  I could have easily sat right there and not moved until someone came to check on me, hopefully one of the Coke workers who randomly had a Mello Yello in his or her hands.

Those are bigger than 12oz, I don't care what the paint job says

There was no joking with myself to pull me out.  There was no picturing the wall scene in "Run Fatboy Run."  I wasn't even thinking to myself "why the hell do I do this crap?"  I was still technically running, but I probably could have walked that mile faster.  Just that stretch took me almost 12 minutes.  I wasn't even mentally tough enough to pull myself out of the rut.  I wasn't even really thinking.  If I were, I would have wondered why I was dying there when I've done the half marathon distances before.  I was used to this...what the hell?

I can't even say I know what happened.  In the end it just went away.  My strength returned, and my brain started working again, and oooh look there's a stone dragon...

Don't remember this type from "How to Train Your Dragon"

There were also Swan Boats...wait a minute...this isn't Boston Common...

"Stop lookin' at me, Swan"

After coming out from under a bridge I could start to see and feel the end of this thing...

Come toward the light

Before I knew it we were at the end...

1/2 mile to go...

I saw my girl at the side of the road, and she got a picture of me as I was running away...

I reconnected with the beard guy, and ended up finishing directly behind him (and the finishing video shows it too!).  I'm thinking about putting an ad on Craigslist to find him so we can be running buddies, and maybe I'll grow a mustache again and that would be my thing when we start the pop duo (I'm thinking Hall & Oates meets Wham!).  It would be epic. 

As soon as I stopped running the calves started to bunch up, so I got my medal quick and kept moving until I back-tracked to find my wife sitting on a bench.  I sat on the ground, stretched, and gathered myself while she took a photo of me looking disgusting...

I don't wanna move...

We went out to the car, and I changed, and we walked to the HopCat to get some food.  I didn't drink a lot while I was there, but their house DIPA called Raging Centaur was really good.  Maybe it was the run, but this was one of the most drinkable DIPAs I've ever had.  I was surprised.  Most breweries can't do one of these worth a crap and they just do them to say they have and to flash some high ABV%.  

Flashing some medal, refusing to put the beer down for the photo

The HopCat's menu made me laugh twice, and our server was really nice to us..

Laugh #1

Laugh #2

I went with the HopCat Grandwich, which was the best sloppy joe I've ever had in my life (sure, post race hunger talking, but it was good) with the jalapenos, crack fries, and melted cheese on top.  



I love you, Joe...

 I also heard very good things about the veggie wrap from across the table...


I had bites of that too, it was tasty



After the food, we were ready to head home and drove back so we could see our dog child, who we left with my dogbaby's momma's momma, and we took her out to dinner for watching our dog/Mother's Day.

Talkin' Turkey, the Missing 5F4, etc.

Turkey Trot

The 55th Annual Flint Mott Park Turkey Trot was easily the cheapest race I've ever ran.  Registration was $5 and you got a long-sleeved shirt and a generic China medal.  There was a clock, but no chips, so there's no record of how fast slow Jason and I were going.  Also, I will not be telling you.

Mott Park used to be a public golf course, but on the day of the race I think the grass was thick enough that you could have given the entire park a comb-over.  Add in that it was kind of wet, a little cold, and the moles (or possibly Dig Dug) have done enough work to make every piece of ground collapse under my feet, and  I had a pretty decent bit of things to slow me down.

Chunky Green Shag

The run was 3 loops around the park, with the front part going up a hill somewhat diagonally (with your right foot more uphill than your left), and then straight down it on some slick ground.  I didn't see anyone wipe out, but I was almost a casualty on 2 of the 3 loops because I was trying to use the hill's momentum.

Food
Come now, you can't say that you believed for one second that I was going to hold off Thanksgiving week.  Starting of what was my 5F4 cycle on Saturday, I had enough pancakes in the morning to be my daily intake of calories.  Sunday was the usual family O.G. punt the calorie day away by lunch.  Monday I pretty much ate nothing but Tyson chicken nuggets.  Tuesday I tried to be good and grabbed a salad at lunch, but after dragging my wife to a speech/book signing that night she was starving and talked me into getting her and I a onion/green pepper deep dish pizza.  Wednesday and Thursday deserve their own paragraphs.

We had our annual friends get together the day before Thanksgiving again this year.  As usual, it was basically a "Meat-A-Palooza" with Ken making lasagna, Jen making beef enchilladas, me making some New England sweet and sour meatballs, and Katie making potatoes chock-a-block full of bacon.  Mike rounded things out by bringing us all some Magners Hard Cider and some Bell's Christmas Ale as his usual drink surprise installment.  After all that, we went to see the Muppet Movie, which gave me a personal record for longest period while smiling/laughing for the year.  I just don't see how it could have been much better.  Anyone that didn't like it just has to be dead inside, because even a rashly cynical bastard like me melted into a mystified 5-year-old watching that movie.

Thankgiving was the usual food orgy.  I started off actually trying to be reasonable.  We went to my wife's grandparents' and I kept a fairly healthy first plate, but the whole thing collapsed under her grandma's pecan pie.  After that it's not like I took huge clumps of things and devoured them, but I nibbled my way to hell with the desserts, all of which were fantastic.  After spending a few hours there and watching the Lions lose, we went to my brother's and ate more turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, green been casserole, and all the usual suspects.  I made some pumpkin cheesecakes, and I had some of that as well as Mom's pumpkin pie.  The pumpkin cheesecake recipe for 2 pies is a liar, though.  It says it makes 2, but I somehow ended up with enough for 4 (freezing the others for later...maybe). 

Obviously Friday was left-over day, and there still exists some left-overs, despite the fact I've made my best attempts at eating them.  I've even gone to the extremes of sharing them with the cat and turtle.

Happy Thanksgiving, Newman!

New Shoes

I have a slight confession to make.  Despite the fact the Brooks Ghost 3 completely tore the crap out of my heel a few times, with a TON of tape and even more stubborness I've actually still been using them.  Now, I didn't really use them for many actual races or any runs of big distance, but for day-to-day shorter runs I've strapped them on every single time.  I just decided that I was going to get my money's worth no matter what, and I did.  The tread at the balls of my feet are completely worn to nothing. 

Other than the bad heel rubbing, which, after tearing the thing apart I've found out it was just a badly placed seam, they were very functional until the last month or so where I noticed they were pretty much dead.  So my outright hatred of the shoes and the brand has been replaced with a "maybe I'll try them again" but I'll "proceed with caution" next time attitude.  Although it would be hard to tell "Hey, this shoe is going to eat my foot up after 10+ miles" in a store.

The other thing I've found is that, even on pavement, I'd rather just wear my trail running shoes.  They just seem to get me more traction and help me pull and push myself around easier.  I've been saving my trail shoes for off-road, but I keep wishing I could use them anyway, and I've finally given in.  Most of the shoes I see for running are too flat, fragile in design, or soft on the bottom (or have an awful zig-zag thing going on), and they wear out too fast for me.  Since it's winter and extra traction is a must anyway, I ended up buying a pair of Adidas Marathon 10 Trail Running shoes.  They were a little slippery today on the paved trail as I braved the snow and black ice.  They'll get better next time out, though.  Other than that, I love the feel of them, and my legs felt like they could have went all day.

5F3 (You know the drill)

Saturday

Not that the popper calories counted (see clown from the last entry)
Still considering the possibility it wasn't their fault because
I love them too much

Sunday

Olive Garden: Stuffed Rigatoni with Chicken



Yes, I know I was just at the OG last week.  I pretty much go there every Sunday because, for some reason, my family loves it too much to go anywhere else.  I can think of at least 3 better Italian joints (let alone restaurants in general) within a 2 mile radius.  Oh well, I'm almost always out-voted, and the creatures of habit get their way. 

Had a few of these as well...

...and one of these...

Monday

I still really love eggnog,  even after Dave Attell
revealed what it REALLY is made from. Had 3 glasses
Monday. 

If you insist on looking up Dave Attell's take on what eggnog is, I can NOT be held responsible.  Keep in mind the comedy album was called "Skanks for the Memories."  Also, keep in mind that it's Dave Attell.

In addition to the usual occasional beer I also have been drinking a lot of wine lately. Had 3 glasses between dinner (where I made some real good, real low cal eggplant parm.) and reading time.

Hey, those left-over boxes of  wedding
wine aren't going to drink themselves...

Tuesday
Out of curiosity, I had to see what the deal was with these Flint-style vegan Coney Dogs at the new "Vegan Soul Hut" place.  Interestingly enough that venture has merged with a regular barbecue and full on meat place, and they seem to get along fine.  Tried two of the regular ones, and one of the vegan ones.  Honestly, with whatever they're putting in the sauce and how spicy it is, I couldn't tell much of a difference.


Flint-style Coneys x 3



Wednesday

I barely ate anything Wednesday, and then ran on top of it.  When I finally got home "dinner" was just some cornbread (the good way with the creamed corn and all) and coffee spiked with some irish cream.



















Thursday
I was doing just fine until Jessi showed up with her father and they wanted me to go to
We got our usual green pepper/red onion deep dish.

Swerved all over "Wing Street" too



















Also had my first Steel Reserve 211 in 10+ years.  I haven't had one since I was a broke college kid and they had them for 87¢ out-the-door.  Some things should remain in the past.

Friday
Left-over pizza, more wine, more nog.



Bonus F
Fozzie Bear

I'm excited about the Muppet Movie coming out next week.  I'm happy that they continue to thrive today, in an environment where decent entertainment is hard to come by.  The best thing is, they can be around forever.  Puppets don't have to ever age or die.  The Muppets can be around as long as we love them.  Who wants to see an old Fozzie Bear still trying to make it as a comedian or even as a successful one that loses his edge and does horrible movies for years on end (e.g. Eddie Murphy or Adam Sandler)?  Nobody wants to see Fozzie mature or get old.  It would be sad watching him all old and wobbly in his Wakka Wakka Walker.