Legs ain't workin', nothing's workin'

...and you say go ahead, run another half-marathon.  Yeah I'll run another half-marathon.  I'll get my face kicked in.

Anyway, this is just getting old.  I've upped the mileage this month, but, if anything, things are getting worse.  My legs just seem to be gone.  I can't seem to push anything out of them.  Even when I'm straining for some speed, the Garmin beeps back my mile pace and then it's just over.  The smile from my face takes a 180 and I start swearing under my breath, and the run is pretty much over.  Okay, so maybe the swearing wasn't under my breath.  Maybe I let out a loud primal scream of "DAMMIT!!!" that echoed throughout the neighborhood and made everyone think I was casing the neighborhood with house-penetrating vulgarity sonar (next up, I find your hidden safe with the f-word!).

If that wasn't enough, both of my feet hurt all the time.  I really don't know what I expected.  You put them through running with all this weight, on top of walking on concrete at work all day, and walking around a house that's almost entirely wood flooring, you're going to beat them to death.  The right heel and the outer middle edge of lefty are just not doing so hot.  They are pansies, especially the one that has no second toenail.
 

Missing toenail toe photo omitted for readers' sake

Anyway, let's talk about the (alleged) weight loss regimen.  I've been doing a damn fine job.  I've been eating healthy.  I've added some strength training exercises (lifting weights, doing some leg strengthening, etc.).  I've been controlling my portions by pretty much saying, "I want to eat this much," dividing it by 2, and only eating that.

The net result of all this hard work?  One lousy pound, and I think I might actually be even slower now.  So last night, when my wife had her family over for her Dad's birthday dinner, I decided to go buckwild on some mashed potatoes and have more than one piece of cake.  Instead of dividing by 2, I multiplied by π (not pie, there was no pie).  Maybe it will undoing everything or maybe it will be the system shock I need. 

Honestly, with all the bloggers I'm following giving up the running temporarily, the thought had crossed my mind.  Maybe the legs just need a break from the abuse and I can build them up with some other things.  Right now that would be the move that makes the most sense.  That, and actually having someone tell me why my heel's been hurting for almost a year.  Yeah, yeah...I know, I know.

The problem is, I can't really dump the running now.  I just signed up for a second run at the Detroit Marathon in October.  You really can't stop running and jump right into that.  Besides, if I quit now, Oprah wins.  I can't let myself stop running until I beat Oprah's marathon time (is that an actual goal I'm putting out there?).  Can't live with it.  Sure I beat the times of Al Gore and that Jared Fogle guy (Subway, I'm still available for sponsorship), but, really, what good is that?  Also, I can't not do a marathon this year after Boston, it just wouldn't feel right.

Actually maybe I won't catch Oprah.
She was in pretty decent shape then.

So, concurrent to the contemplation of putting the shoes away (which should happen anyway, as I hate every pair I have right now), I signed up for a trail series without a second thought that consists of a 13.1, a 10K, and another 13.1.  The first of which is the Trail Half-Marathon in Laingsburg this weekend, and the last being The Legend, which is notoriously an Achilles heel for me.  Repeat after me "Owa tana siam."  Obviously I want to quit, that's why I did this. 

Anyway, a full report of my crash and burn tomorrow should be coming your way soon.  It sounds like I'll be going solo on this one as well, unless I run into someone I know or one of you fellow bloggers.  Even then, you'll be in your cars and heading home when I cross, knowing most of you and your speedy ways.  Besides, I'm going to another concert thing with the wife tonight, so my hydrate and get to bed early plan is screwed anyway.  Oh well, have to support homegrown music, especially when your wife's done a good chunk of their album/press photos.  Besides, they're pretty dang good and I've been wanting to see them again for a while.