I Have To Get Going Here. It'll Happen.

If you haven't really noticed, I've been a little absent around here so far in 2013.  Also, maybe you've noticed my mileage on the old dailymile is comprised of mostly very short runs and not a lot of my usual entertaining (for me at least) commentary. 

I could explain it in a lot of ways, but I'll start with the situation.  Let's face it, the last few months have been a bit of a bummer.  I've lost two very young cousins, a grandparent, and, now, shortly in the future I will be losing my job (my job site announced it's closing early this month).  Also this past Valentine's Day marked 10 years of being without my father.

Now, am I completely and utterly depressed?  No, not really.  I sulked for about 3 days after the job loss announcement, and have since immediately started go through my connections for leads and raining resumes down on the job sites like confetti on a parade.  Everything else I can't do anything about.  I can't resurrect the dead, and even when they try in movies or comics (e.g. the U.S. Presidents in the recent Deadpool reboot) it never turns out to be some sort of happy ending.  There's plenty of worse things happening to a lot of people, and by all means and measures, I'm doing just fine.

Also, it's been 7 years since I've let myself just sulk on Valentine's Day.  It's now become a tradition to get together with friends, even the single ones, and go do something inclusive.  Initially it started off with three of us getting together on a whim, going out, getting smashed, and having a good time, while denouncing the day with loud, boisterous fits of slurred swearing (and FVD was born). 

This year, instead of the usual pub crawling, we went to the Blind Pig to see Electric Six



and Andy D


I don't care if you even read the rest of this post, but you have to watch the video right above.

It was pretty hard to sulk watching them, and we all had a really good, surprisingly sober, time.

Anyway, getting back to where I was going before.  I'm really not in some sort of depressed funk.  The running hasn't been there just because I've been focusing my time on the job search.  Also, I have been getting out of work much later than usual, and I still haven't come close to thinking about becoming morning runner guy.  I haven't been doing races or much of anything that costs too much (the concert tickets were only $15/ea) because I'm going to be very conservative with money until something else is lined up.  The uncertainty has made me unsure of what I want my running goals to be this year.  That's the reason why I haven't posted my annual goals for you guys to see. 

Also, when life hands me lemons, I do try to make lemonade (though I believe now they're even better in a Dutch Baby Pancake), but I also like to horde the lemonade for myself (pancakes too).  In challenging times, I'm just a natural introvert.  I like to keep my good vibes that I can muster to myself, and I find myself shutting off that valve that makes me want to send all of them out into the world.  I know some people feel they get as much good back from the public and like or need to be around people when things are bad.  It makes them feel energized and keeps them positive.  That's just not me.  Some days (e.g. Valentine's Day) there are exceptions, but if I try to mimic that for a long period of time, it doesn't work.  It's almost like I need people (with my wife being one of the very rare exceptions) in moderation, and if I overdo it I have a big crash later.  I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's part of the lack of blogging, dailymile commentary, etc. too.

Stick with me.  I'm still positive the best is yet to come.  I'll find a way to run more and get motivated soon.  I  know it.