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2012-02-21T18:35:00.000-08:00

Let's face it kids, you all missed the fatty fat fatty, did you not?

As you all know, today is (part of) Fat Tues~~day~~week. I'm sure there's some of you out there trying to get in shape, or already superior physical specimens out there saying to yourselves today, "Oh dear lordy bee, I had me-self a half a paczki and I feel soo bay-ad." Meanwhile in America's High Five State, a man is running the gauntlet of every bad food he can tap into for the week before the clock strikes midnight and Lent begins, and it's all over for him (and running season seems to truly begin).

Sure, I've had a good start to the year, but Fat Tuesday is a tradition, so I'm sticking with it. A few years ago, I started stretching it out to a week Tuesday-Tuesday, because trying to fit all my favorite horrible things into one day is impossible and digestively aggravating. Let's see what's on the board...

February 14th/7th Annual FVD Holiday Extravaganza
This requires a back-story. I'll try to be brief. In 2006, I got tired of being depressed on Valentine's Day. The 14th is dad's death anniversary (2003), so if I wasn't alone on that day, usually my sh*tty attitude would make it so, and after already doing it twice, I wasn't about to just let that cloud hang over my head for life. I called up a couple single bros and left them voicemails basically saying, screw (we used a more vulgar word) the holiday for making single people feel like a group of society's defectives and making us cower in our homes, let's go out to the bar. We went out to the loft, we owned that bar for that night (much like we owned any bar in those days), and thus began FVD and this idea that we were the "undisputed 'Kings' of this town."

Now that we're old, and that title has passed, two things from that night still remain: the pledge that we'd celebrate together on that day, single or not, and not bail on our friends and when we say goodbye, we count the number of us out on our hands in unison and throw those fingers up on the top of our heads as a crown. I think initially it started off as a cynical anti-love thing for a few of us, but it's grown into more of an inclusive thing that everyone looks forward to. My wife secretly still gets her flowers, and dinner, and she gets drinks of top of it. We usually end up doing more with our friends that night than we'd ever do by ourselves. I think it's become a really nice tradition, and, no, we're not out trying to ruin anything for you mushy couples...it's never been about that, even though you may look over and realize we're having more fun than you. Also we've made matching T-Shirts since the 2nd one, which usually turns out to be either awesome or a total nightmare. This is because we never plan a thing ahead ever, and get the whole thing, including the design, together after work.

2012 Logo

My Wife's FVD card to me. It pretty much ruled my universe, much like her.

Anyway, chalk me up for a huge burger at Ashley's in Ann Arbor (first time we took this show outside of Flint or Detroit). They have half the world on tap so I had a St. Feuilliien/Green Flash Biere De L'Amitie , two Founders All Day IPAs, and a Primordial Porter. Then I finished up my shoestring fries with my wasabi sauce.

Feb. 15th
Hello buy one get one BK Chicken sandwich...two original please...

Feb 16th
I forgot and I ate healthy...stupid, stupid, stupid

Feb 17th
BK chicken again, originals again. Ate both slow enough to realize they now taste a little like ground cardboard. Then some night time rice krispie treats made by yours truly.

Feb 18th
It was my last pre-Lent chance to test this Five Guys place. I still have never been to one and there was one within striking distance of the beer run my wife and I were on. So we stopped and each of us got a burger and split a fry and a diet Barq's. Cajun fries are good, but nothing you can't make at home, and the burgers are good, but it's about the same as a Halo Burger only thinner and taller.

Cajun

After the Five Guys, we had our "Super Boris Funtime Party," watching Russian-themed movies while trying to purge the excess wedding vodka. We managed to kill a bottle of Smirnoff, and drank a few Russian/Ukrainian beers that we realized had been expired for over a year but bought anyway. The beer store must not move Russian beer too often. I also realized I may have missed my calling as a bartender.

Small Carnage

Feb 19th
Sunday was Lucky's with my wife, brother, and sister for lunch. So it was chicken parmesan, side of alfredo, and a lot of Dr. Peppers.

Then I picked up some Kroger Jammed Cookie Dough ice cream later that night.
Feb 20th
I finally had my first Taco Bell of the year. 24 total layers of burrito (two 7's, two beefy 5's)

Then, for dinner, it was time to raise the red roof...

My wife, her dad, and I destroyed a large onion and green pepper pizza, 22 wings, and a 5 piece breadstick. Oh, and then a few hours later I knocked out a package of pizza rolls.

Fat Tuesday
After yesterday I couldn't even think about eating until maybe noon. I've since made up some ground, and here comes the grand finale:

*Finalized Results*
2 Bavarian Creme Paczkis
1 16" Big John Steak and Cheese
A 5 mile run with Jason........wait, what the hell? Didn't you just eat a lot of food? Yes, but I am not human.
2 McDoubles
10 piece Chicken Nugget
2 pints of ale
48 oz of Coca-Cola
1 giant size Mallo Cup 4 pack
1 Raspberry Paczki
2 Tater Tots (yep just two)
A handful of gumballs
1 12 oz bottle Founders Dirty Bastard

...and that's it for the time being. I will update if there's any more, but I feel semi-pregnant and there is no room at the food inn, so I figured I'd write you all and give you the food collapse that you all so missed. Especially since this year I'm going to get very serious and snap back into gear tomorrow, when I magically turn into a very healthy, helpful, and contributing individual. I also tend to enter what the Brewers called "Beast Mode" last year about this time. First up on the hit list is probably the Corktown Race. I will see you all on the other side.

Oh, and Friday we're going to bring home our Corgi puppy. His name is "Renfield."

Renfield two weeks ago

Fuzzy Super Bowl XLVI Memories

2012-02-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

After waking up incredibly early for 7am mass and running into my little brother there, with both of us wondering why the other was up so early on a Sunday morning, I made it back to my place to put some finishing touches on preparing the house for the big game.

The night before, with most of the work done, my wife and I marvelled at our house's cleanliness and wondered why we only get it this clean before we know people are coming to totally trash the joint. I got home from church, and crawled back in bed with the girl and the kitten for a bit, until she got up for work. Then I woke up, brewed some coffee and flipped on the stereo to shuffle some Velvet Underground, The Who, Hall & Oates, Steely Dan, and a few others while I finished dishes, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming up the joint.

I moved the extra couch into the living room to provide the stadium seating, and just sat around enjoying the clean house and the music. It was past 1pm, and I was going to flip the basketball game on as soon as anyone got there, but I was just enjoying the music, the coffee, and the clean house too much to part with it before I had to. Nick finally showed, we cracked a few Molsons, and we turned it on, and it was pretty lopsided in MSU's favor. Ken, his nephew, and brother-in-law showed up and brought the huge meat and cheese tray, and some hard ciders, and mike showed up with some more beer and dip. The party was officially on.

I had Mike and Jeff help a friend of mine with his resume over a Sierra Nevada Ruthless (Rye IPA) and after that I just kind of popped into floating host mode, going around and talking to everyone. I bounced around for a while, had a couple Founders Dirty Bastards, and then went back with Mike and Jeff and had a ceremonial run on the Arcadia Shipwreck Porter. Then we jumped into the Atwater Vanilla Java Porter that I had loved and talked up so much. Only this time, At-Water once again lived up to their name and it tasted like flavored watery crap. I usually hate every beer they make, but this WAS good for the first two batches I had, and I'm hoping they haven't ruined it for good. Only time will tell. I made some guacamole, and bounced around a bit more, had some of Jen's enchilladas, made a store run with Jen and Jeff to get more enchillada materials, and came back with New England finishing up a long drive shortly before halftime.

The score was 10-9 at the time. I was barely watching the game, and I couldn't really care less about Madonna and whoever those other people were, so I don't know if the halftime show was good or not. Also, I can honestly say I don't remember a single commercial from last night either, and I don't think that all can be blamed on 6.6%, 8.5%, and 12.0% ABV beers. I just wasn't engaged by the game, and it didn't seem like anyone else was either. There was no cheering for TDs, no laughing at commercials, and not a lot of craziness going on at all.

I think the majority wanted the Pats to win, but I think everyone figured the G-men would win, and whatever happened just brought out very little reaction across the board. I spent more time in conversations than the game. I would put my watch total for the thing at maybe 20±5 minutes. It was just more engaging for me to be talking to people, getting things for them, showing them where things are, and just trying to be Mr. Hostman than sitting in a chair watching a game I didn't care too much about. I mean, did New Yorkers and New Englanders need any more reason to puff themselves up than they already do? I didn't think so. Either way, one of them was going to become even more intolerable.

Most of the second half, I spent realizing that my head was a little fuzzy and I started rehydrating and getting some absorbent food in me. Before I knew it, I'm looking at the clock, and just before 10:00pm, the whole thing's over. This had to be one of the faster Super Bowls ever. Also, my entire house was empty by 10:30pm. Nobody lingered or spent the night, and the house wasn't even all that messy. It was pretty incredible.

I spent most of my lunch break trying to tally calories from my memory bank of the night instead of actually eating food (because I was still full), and I blasted way past that 2,500 average they quote for the average Super Bowl consumption by a person. I'm looking at something more like 5,000-6,000 and probably over 2,500 just for the drinks.

Brent vs. the January

2012-02-04T17:05:00.000-08:00

I would write about the Winteräufe and show you pictures of that, but it was incredibly uneventful (8K, 46:55). This sorry excuse for winter melted all the ice and snow sculptures from last weekend. The only thing left of it was a few ice cubes on the ground and some snow plowed in an alleyway. Quite a bit different from last year when it was all still up and being awesome.

Last Year

This winter is pathetic. I'm really hating it. Besides, I'm slower than all these people as it is. The only advantage I had was the winter when a good chunk of them are "Sissy Skinner" (NOT the senior women's tennis olympian) and stay indoors on their treadmills, and now that's gone.

You know what's also gone? "Yep, you guessed it....Frank Stallone."

Just kidding, January's gone. So it's time to check in on me and see if I'm completely slacking off here.

The Ones of the Twelves

1) Pick 12 things of social importance that I've had limited exposure to, but decided I didn't like and immerse myself in each of them for 1 month.

Westerns - I know I'll lose a stamp or two on the man card for admitting it, but I was pretty sure I didn't like westerns, not even the Eastwood ones. Westerns were always something that my Dad and Uncle Bob watched that kept me from watching real television. They were boring, and usually just a bunch of guys riding ponies around in the wilderness until they have to kill a bunch of Native Americans or other cowboys to get some sort of reward or loot they didn't earn.

So I spent my January immersing myself within this genre of film that not only was an American staple, but seems to come back in spurts for a couple years in each decade. So I went out and watched everything from early 1900s westerns to John Wayne westerns to 80's westerns, and beyond.

The Verdict: It's not a genre I can continue to dismiss. While I can still say fairly reasonably that 75% of the time I don't like them, some of the 25% I have liked have been well worth the hours spent. However, I still haven't met a John Wayne movie I like. I still never really jumped into the Eastwood movies, but I figured they'd be around and now that the door's been opened enough, I will see them.

Brent Approved: High Noon, Tombstone, Westworld, Magnificent Seven, Young Guns, and True Grit

2) Learn 12 new recipes (1/month)
That stuffed peppers recipe that I kind of concocted out of nothing is pretty much perfect, fast, and easy. Let's not forget delicious. Definitely will do that again. Other than that, I don't think I tried another new one. I know I spent about a bag of potatoes and flour trying to perfect the pierogies, and ended up with 100+ in the freezer. They must have been delicious. They've mysteriously disappeared already.

3) Do 12 home improvements (1/month).
We got a window box/tv stand in the bay window made for the living room and it's allowed us to get rid of a lot of clutter in here. Normally I'd be sitting and typing this while thinking I should straighten up the living room, but now it all has a place and it stays there. I even got our stereo hooked up to everything, which has never happened until now. We also put up a lot of our friends photos and wedding photos around the place, and it's just so much more alive in here. I feel surrounded by good memories. I think it counts as at least one, even though it's not the one I planned for this month.

4) Try 12 new restaurants (1/month).
Maybe this barely counts, but I ate at the White Horse. Now, I've cut my teeth on drinking there several times in my life, but I couldn't say I've ever eaten there. That probably has something to do with the voice in my head that only talks about Taco Bell when he's been drinking. Now I've finally tried their famous Black and Blue burger, and it's kind of fighting for my hometown burger affection with the Torch. It's also been a while since I drank there and they've really stepped up their selection. Other than that, we're still stuck in our rut, but when that rut is a delicious Thai restaurant where everything on the menu is delightful, it's hard to complain.

Trying to point to the White Horse window behind me

Enjoy the Super Bowl, everyone. I have enough food and beer to take care of a small army, and I haven't even seen what everyone else will be bringing. I don't it think will break 20+ people in here like the last two years, but we'll see. I'm at 12 confirmed, and with the MSU/UM b-ball game on at 1:00pm, I fear for us and the extra 5 hours of drinking.

Snowshoeing in Search of Sasquatch

2012-02-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

...And now Part 2 in the cliffhanger I left you with, regarding the toe:

As I write this, I've still been avoiding contact on it. I've been walking around it, and avoiding putting any pressure on it. My right calf has taken the brunt of it, because favoring my toe has made it do more work and it's pretty much been pulling or in threat of pulling at any given time since last Wednesday.

Friday night as we drove up to Traverse City, I was still pretty unsure whether I would be able to do much at the Bigfoot Snowshoe Race. Not only that, but we kept heading north and I didn't see any snow, despite what the Running Fit people said in their email. Even in Traverse City, there wasn't a lot on the ground. Was there enough to use snowshoes? Sure, but not really enough to where they'd be feasible, and definitely not enough to where they'd be required.

Driving

We settled into our hotel room, and Jason called to ask what we planned on doing for the night. We eventually settled on trying out the North Peak Brewery. The food was okay, but the brews were really tame and built for people that have no adventurous beer taste whatsoever (even the IPAs). I wasn't impressed, especially when everything that looked good to me ended with our waitress informing us that they were "out" or it was unavailable, and that was after waiting 30+ minutes. North Peak, if this gets back to you, you gotta ditch that Sun.-Thurs. menu, or at least don't give it to people that are there on a Friday or Saturday. After getting back from that, I did a little leg and toe soaking in the hot tub, read a little bit of the Theo Fleury autobiography, watched a bit of HBO, and went to bed. I woke up to a truck scraping the pavement outside my window while he was plowing some snow. I looked out the window and was immediately excited. We got bombarded with about 5-8" of snow overnight.

I turned off the alarm before it ever went off, and started getting ready, thinking maybe I'd get an earlier start than planned with the weather. I was ready to go about 7:00 and hadn't heard from Jason yet, so I went off for some continental breakfast alongside all the couples with small children that woke them up way before they were ready. The early start didn't happen, because the weather held Jason up from getting to the hotel, and it made us miss a turn out on the roads.

I can usually find the place otherwise. The Timber Ridge campground and resort is actually where my family went on vacation every summer until my dad passed away in 2003. For most of those years it was actually a Jellystone Park, with plenty of activities to keep us kids busy, an arcade where I hustled older kids for quarters on Centipede, and where Yogi, Boo Boo, and Cindy Bear all came to visit our campsite while my parents made us dinner over a campfire. Even when we got older, it was something we looked forward to every year, and instead of being excited by seeing Boo Boo, I'd get asked to fill in and play him. There was something for everyone, even when it became privately owned and ditched its franchise name.

Strapping In

The race started without us, so we tried to get out snowshoes on in a mad rush to get going. We probably should have at least tried to put them on once before, and maybe even walked in them. Yeah, Jason and I had never even walked in snowshoes before Saturday. We're just not good with this whole prepping thing. If there's ever any sort of apocalypse, don't look to us for any survival cues. I just plan on following DEMCAD's lead, ha ha.

Photo Op

The race started off easy enough and off we went, running in our snowshoes for the first time. About 1/4 mile in we ran into a single-file track and we were stuck behind the walkers and had to stop and walk with them. It opened up a few times, but we still got stuck behind walkers. I was still favoring the big toe on my right foot, so the stopping and starting, along with the cold and the new angle I was putting my foot down started to take its toll on me. My right calf started to tense up, and after that I realized how exhausting this snowshoeing really is. I was zonked.

I was still somewhere in the middle of the pack until I realized my heel was rubbing. I stopped and realized my back strap and the plastic grip on it had found its way to my heel and dug in just inside my shoe. After I stopped and got that away from there, I realized I was bleeding a bit and it actually hurt a bit. I made an adjustment and followed the group up a steep hill where it was all single-file once again. A lot of people were holding onto branches and trees for dear life, and trying not to fall backwards, taking 5 or 6 people out with them. Not all of them succeeded. There were a few human bowling incidents, but I managed to make it without incident.

After that debacle, I made three more stops to adjust my shoes and that damn strap to relieve some of the heel pain. It wasn't happening, and I was totally bombing this race. Jason caught up and stopped with me, asking what was wrong. Apparently he had taken a pretty good spill back there and was recovering time from learning how to stand back up on snowshoes. We ended up sticking together and finished the first 5K loop.

After the first 5K, I did a complete stop and sit by the water station, trying desperately to find some way to rig my shoes for it to not rub. It wasn't happening. If there were any more people in the 10K behind us, they all called it a day and took the right turn for the 5K cut-off. There was nobody passing us at the aid station. I seriously thought about turning back to the 5K finish myself and just calling it a day, but, as many people have learned, Jason and I are very stubborn about finishing things. We didn't care if we were last, and I didn't care if I ripped all my heel's skin off (more about this later), we came up for a 10K and dammit, we were doing one.

Jason and I push on into the second 5K loop with only each other and the snowy woods as company. We lost the trail a few times and had to stop and look for the next orange/pink marker to know where to go, because it all looked the same at this point, and we had nobody ahead to follow. About halfway through, the nut on one of the bolts on Jason's snowshoe found its way off, and he was down to only his boots with one crampon still strapped to it. We made a couple "Cool Runnings" references about having to finish the race and continued on. We climbed that steep hill again, and came running in the wrong way to the finish line, until my wife marshalled us back over to the left path.

We tried our best to fake a good-looking finish, despite the fact we walked 90% of the second loop and it took nearly 2 hours for us to finish the 10K, finishing dead last in our age group. When I got in, my wife told me she had been waiting out in the cold and listening to Jack Johnson (that the PA was playing), two things she hates, so she could see me finish. I grabbed some water, some of that awful HEED stuff, took off the snowshoes, and went inside the lodge. I was hoping for coffee or hot chocolate, but had to settle for a chili to warm me up.

I wore my Dad's old coat up there to kind of sentimentally bring part of him with me for the race to his favorite old spot, and it was soaked from both sides. I was soaked everywhere, so we didn't stick around very long because I got really cold, really fast. Basically as soon as I got that chili down and got a photo of the winners' Bigfoot trophy (there were 4 for each gender winner of both races), we were out of there. I cured the cold by putting on the new Bigfoot long-sleeve and taking a short trip to Speedway for the hot beverage I so craved (and gas for the Vibe).

Bigfoot Winners' Trophy

We went back to the hotel, and I peeled half of my heel skin off in one motion, like it was a band-aid. My toe looked pretty gross again, but I didn't feel that because it was frozen. My calf was on the pulling borderline. My legs were just beat to hell. So I showered, and bandaged up a bit. I did more hot tubbing, and we went back out in the world for some food.

After that we went to Right Brain Brewery, which was much more my speed. Their bartender gave us a couple additional samples based on what we initially chose, and threw a couple suggestions our way. She was very very helpful, and hooked me into a couple pints of beers I may have picked around. They also carried the Black Star Farms Celestial hard cider, which was really smooth, dry, and tasty. It's really high up there on my cider list now.

There were quite a few styles I really liked and appreciated (some too much), like the Firestarter Chipotle Porter. Plenty of places have tried to make a beer like this and failed miserably. Right Brain's is very impressive, with a great roasty taste on the trip down and a nice slow tingling burn in the aftertaste. I haven't had better. The tamer, staple beers are also done really well, so well that I was impressed and could have sat with pints of them all night as well. Even some of the crazier brews, like the amber made from sweet potatoes, are accessible in their tastes. It was a really great place and is fitting somewhere in the top 3 out of breweries we've been to for me. Jason and Jessi both loved it too, so it was a clean sweep.

All in all, I'd call the weekend a great success. I was able to do the race despite my toe, and despite shredding my other foot during the race. Prices are really depressed up there this time a year, so it didn't cost very much to do this trip and get a really nice hotel. I think this may become tradition. The bar for this race has been set very low, so there's little chance we won't do better next time. Besides it's fun to go to the beach in winter...right?

Are we doing this beach thing right?

Before you find your way into a snowshoe race of your very own, I have a few pointers:

1) Make sure your snowshoes are on completely correct and tightened properly. Even if the race is starting without you and there's no time to spare, you'll have better luck in the long run just making them right. Don't believe me, and you'll learn the hard way too.

2) Bring an extra coat with you so you'll have a dry coat to change into

3) Even if you have zero access to snow, walk around in them on some grass and get used to the feel. It's not a normal step that you'll be taking

4) Wear shoes that leave a good deal of space between the end of your toes and the front of the hole in the shoe. That way you won't get a clog of snow stuck under the front of your foot that can't fall through the snowshoe.

5) Don't wear a sweater under your coat unless it's pushing near single digit (F) temps. You won't be that cold.

6) Make sure your pockets are zipped closed or are empty. Anything in them will get lost with the bouncing about.

7) When going up any steep hill, if you're not really good and balanced, wait until your shoe catches and sticks until you take the next step.

8) Tape your heels and/or wear thick socks. Your shoes will be moving around on your feet much more than they usually do, especially if you didn't put your shoes on properly.

9) Be thin, because they don't even make the racing style rated for my weight (that I saw anyway). I'm guessing it's because there's a very limited population of fat running snowshoers.

Shirt, Bib, and Button

Novocaine for the toe...

2012-01-24T14:54:00.000-08:00

I managed to do my toe in yesterday with a small accident involving a drum.

We'll see how screwed I am. It doesn't seem to be broken, not that it matters, because they'll really do nothing for a broken toe anyway. I'm still walking, so that's a plus. It feels a lot better today than yesterday, but it still doesn't feel very good, I'll tell you that. Just think, before I was complaining about shoes that forced my feet too hard to the outside of my foot, and now that's going to be just fine.

I'm supposed to run today, but it's not gonna happen. Ugh.

Sustenance vs. Sustenance

2012-01-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

Since the start of the year, things have been going well, I must say. I'm losing some of the honeymoon/holiday weight I gained. I've managed to sucker myself into a small strength training regimen twice a week. I'm still running outside here and there despite the snow, ice, and creepy footprints in the snow that look just like mine only going exactly the opposite way. Either I'm sleep running my route backwards or I have a shoe doppleganger (or just a regular doppleganger). All I know is that if I see him in a mirror, I'm not going to any theatre shows for a while.

Anyway, none of this has any connection to where I thought I was going with this entry. My point is that I've been really damn good. So good that I can't remember the last time I pulled into a Taco Bell, and whenever I think about doing so I have some sort of internal dialogue about it. It usually goes something like this:

Fat Brent: OOOOOHHH! Taco Bell!

Fit Brent: I know you love it, but it's not good for you and it will never love you back. You know I'm right.

Fat Brent: I know...

Fit Brent: Besides, if Taco Bell really loved you, it would have never taken away it's Black Jack Taco in the first place.

Instead, I've been mostly making a lunch. The few times I have stepped out and grabbed something, it's mostly been that Chipotle Chicken and Cheese on Flatbread over at Subway. I swear a few years back I never went there, but since NBC's "Chuck" began brainwashing me with their shameless product placement that has changed. Only two episodes left, so you guys better send something that will be permanently lodged in my brain and have a subliminal trigger that sends me to Subway every once in a while.

Miranda...

Again, not my point, not my point at all that I can get some toasted onions and green pepper with pepper jack cheese on it and then I'll load it up with some lettuce, tomato, olives, banana and jalapeno peppers, and just a dash of hot sauce in addition to the chipotle southwest sauce. It's also most definitely not my point that it is somehow an orgasm for my brain.

"I eat 3 a day to help keep me strong"

Luckily that's not something that is too horrible for me food-wise, but you see where this is going, though. The amount of chemical reward I can get from food is crazy sometimes. So crazy it makes me wonder how long I can sit with my finger in the dam like it is now. Can I really sustain a long-term healthy year? That's the million dollar question for me right now.

I'm having some weird food-related thoughts that I would equate to the type of thoughts drug users have when they try to get clean. I've caught myself fantasizing about mainlining all the remaining eggnog at Meijer. If it's not that, in my head I'm building a fort of empty White Castle sleeves from a crave case and leading an army of fries through a moat made of chocolate shake to storm the castle. I've even thought about a calzone the size of a sleeping bag that I could crawl into and eat my way out, or just be born in it like an egg or a pod as it provided the nutrients I needed to grow within it and emerge ready for the outside world. I'm sorry, but that's just messed up.

When it's not bad foods it's just the sad truth that it's nearly impossible for me to not still be hungry, even when I'm eating things that are good for me and are allegedly filling. I have some light speed digestion going on, nothing sticks for long, and if it's possible to eat celery to the point where you could actually gain weight, I think I could manage to do it (but won't because my wife finds celery to be kind of disgusting). However I do think I could round up enough if I save the frozen celery I pick out of frozen stir fry veggies for her. Sorry celery, sorry you're dying for nothing.

I guess I just know getting down to a weight where I feel I can also handle that 26.2 is going to be hard for me. I know it's still possible getting there where I'm at weight-wise, but I don't want to do that. I want to make it easier on me, my legs, and my heart, and who can blame me? It's not like I want to go out running with two heavy dumbbells strapped to me, and knowing how much extra baggage you're carrying is really eye-opening. How hard it is doesn't change the fact it needs to be done. I realize it's not going to be easy for me, and there's a lot of rewiring I need to do with my brain and body before I can be successful.

One wire at a time, though. I just have to make sure I pull the right wires or this Bavarian Creme bomb will go off, and then the only thing I can do to save the city is smother it with my open mouth...

Frozen Blueberry

2012-01-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

Before the race, there was a fire about a block from the start. Apparently the wood stove in the garage started the fire and it got out of hand and burned down the garage. Nobody was hurt and last I saw it looked like they controlled it from getting into the house too much and taking that with it. The garage went up pretty quick, though, and you could hear containers exploding here and there. Still a shame for the people involved. Hopefully they're well-insured. Anyway, for anyone reading this, make sure all your smoke detectors work, have fire extinguishers in areas most likely to have fires, and keep flammables away from ignition sources (if possible).

Sad

The roads, as you can see were pretty snow-covered and slow, but it wasn't brutally cold.

Only two people from my age group showed (including me), so I got prized up by default.

It's spinny!

I guess it's true what they say, "Half of life is just showing up"

Glad they brought this race back after a year hiatus. There are not a lot of races to do in the winter, and running around here and not seeing the racing crowd can get kind of dull (especially in Jan/Feb).

Twenty Eleven YIR and Twenty Twelve Tunnel Vision

2012-01-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

I said I'd do a year in review of last year revisiting the goals I had. Here are the over/under results for 2011:

1) Continue to do a race a month. - I could shoot to go for more, but all I would accomplish is paying more money and having more shirts I need to get rid of.  Over I still overdid it. I think the final tally for 2011 was around 35 races.
2) Can I Get a Half-Marathon? - I can do this. After the Crim we felt like running the 5K, and would have if Pat showed. Now it's just a matter of where to do it.  Over how about 4 (Martian, DxA2, Panda, Brooksie) and 1 trail half (The Legend)? Also the 20K Volksläufe was pretty close to that distance. You could say I nailed it down with authority.
3) Try to Run a Race out-of-State - I'd really like to do this if the opportunity arises. We'll see what this year and the finances hold. Under Somebody else's scheduling conflicts in September on my honeymoon got in the way of the one I was planning on. I could have planned better to get this in, but I thought I had it locked up (Note to self: Have a backup plan). After the wedding and the honeymoon, I couldn't justify a trip just to accomplish this goal in 2011. However, I ran a 5K in Chicago on 1/1/12, so I only missed it by a day.
4) Register earlier - I could deal with saving some money on these races. I need to make a game plan and pick what races I'm doing this year, and sign up early.  Even Registered early a lot, and also opted out of shirts when possible a few times.
5) Make lifestyle changes that actually affect my weight - I've done everything else. For my size, I am a powerhouse of energy and endurance. Imagine what I could do if I slim down. I could be unstoppable. Even For 3/4 of the year, I did awesome. I was down below a weight I hadn't been down to in 5 years in September. I let things get away a bit at the end of the year, though. Still, I will tentatively call it a success as long as I jump back on track this year.
6) Do "The Legend," the "Warrior Dash," or "The Martian" (or all three) - I haven't decided yet, but two are races I missed last year, and the other looks like a blast (though I am actually somewhat in fear of it). Over Done, Done, and Done. The Legend was the hardest running-related thing I've ever done. The Warrior was a blast, and the Martian was where I did my first half.

There was also some nonsense goal I added late in the game about running a double loop of the Crim course, but that never happened either. Still, I said it, and it didn't happen. All in all 2011 was a major success for me though. It was such a success, in fact, that I'm worried about being able to top it. That will be what I want to do this year, though.

So here we go.

2012 Running Goals

1) A Marathon.

...and that's it. Done. Anything else I do this year will be gravy, or be done in the name and vein of getting the 26.2. Every pound taken off, every mile I log, every race I run, and many many other things will be what I do will be to get there. Don't believe it? I haven't eaten poorly since New Year's Day. Don't believe that because I took a picture with the Big Boy on the 2nd? I did salad bar!

I've already had to reel myself back in a bit because I was overdoing it and my weight was dropping like a stone the past week. It's probably not healthy going that fast. It's not that I was starving myself or anything, but probably the worst thing I ate was a vegetarian stuffed pepper.

I got all crazy yesterday and a had a bagel and a root beer, and today I actually had some mashed potatoes. Still though, even with that, I'm maintaining a very controlled calorie altitude. Needless to say the fat Friday call-out blogs may be fragged. Besides, I'm guessing there was some sort of subconscious motivation for me to screw up big and have something to write about. I'll still call myself out, but there won't be anymore laughing at myself about failures. There are plenty of other things about me to laugh at. Besides, this is a running blog, not Brent vs. Food.

I also have a few goals outside of running that I don't mind sharing.

The Twelves of Twelve (Resolutions)

1) Pick 12 things of social importance that I've had limited exposure to, but decided I didn't like and immerse myself in each of them for 1 month. The idea is to reopen my mind to a few things I've dismissed too quickly. I'm not planning on doing my version of Fear Factor and tackling major fears or eating foods I think are disgusting, but all else is fair game. I've turned to my wife and friends for help, and I'm hoping I come up with twelve things large enough in scope, especially things that are potentially life-enriching. Upon telling my wife this, she shrieked "Harry Potter" immediately. It is a phenomenon, and there are enough books and movies to keep me tied up for at least a month. It fits the bill. I don't have 12 yet, and I haven't received as many suggestions as I anticipated. Apparently I'm not as rigid as I judge myself to be.

2) Learn 12 new recipes (1/month). We both can cook. There's plenty of meal variety in this house, but every time I add another meal, it gives us another option that we might just be in the mood for.

3) Do 12 home improvements (1/month). Whether I do it, pay for it, or just add something to the place to make it better I want to do one thing a month on average. It doesn't need to be anything major, just something.

4) Try 12 new restaurants (1/month). There are not a lot of really good restaurants around here I have not eaten at. This may be a slight challenge, especially if I'm trying to eat halfway decent.

I have a few other resolutions, but they're mostly the boring things you see everywhere like: do better at work, get more sleep, finally beat Metroid Prime 2. You know, stuff everyone has on their list, and will forget about. As far as the other ones. There they are. They're public knowledge now (ok, maybe just a small sliver of the public). The marathon is scary to me. The furthest I think I've run is about 15-16 miles, and setting it up as the singular goal is setting up an entire year to be a pass/fail venture. I need to do it now, though; not because Maya Angelou's poetry calendar is supposed to kill us all in December, but because it's time and life's only going to get more complicated.

I know there are those of you out there running in the morning before you wake up your kids, running through health issues, and overcoming all kinds of odds to find time to get out there and do it. Knowing you are out there and reading your blogs is massively inspirational to me, but I'm not you (at least not yet) and I'm pretty sure I can't hack that. I'm just not that awesome.

Pictureless Chicago

2012-01-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, I managed to go to Chicago and come home without taking a single picture. I have to be the worst human being in the world when it comes to documenting things with photos. Here are some things that you will not see...

12/30/11
-Jeff, Samir, my wife and I drinking lots of beers with pizza and cheesy tots at Haymarket Pub
-All of us again at Goose Island (despite it now being owned by the enemy).
-The four rounds of Guinness Jeff and I did at Yak-Zies while leaving my wife back at the hotel, and us being slowly crowded by idiots trying to take over our table. They made us stay longer.

12/31/11
-My obscenely large burger that I ate at Bennigan's with sweet potato fries
-My wife learning that Navy Pier is lame (like I said), but us being even lamer and sitting on the USS Chicago anchor like horrible tourists anyway (though there may be an iPhone photoshop of it happening eventually).
-My Chicago/Local H friends on New Year's Eve at the Bottom Lounge avoiding the opening band
-Local H coming out in spacesuits, and them covering Rush with the 2112 logo flashing behind them.
-Me, my wife, and several other friends (and strangers) doing shots directly from a Buffalo Trace bottle (perhaps another reason I could be sick, but alcohol kills everything right?)
-Dan's fiance throwing elbows at guys twice her size coming at her out of a mini mosh pit
-My wife and I having a New Year's kiss
-My friend "Jeffing" (as he calls it) several photos
-One of the few nights of the year my wife and I have a PBR tall boy in hand

1/1/12
-Me all decked out to run a 5K in Chicago on New Year's Day
-The other 1,500 or so people
-Lake Michigan in the morning from Lincoln Park just south of the zoo
-My shirt and bib from my first out-of-state race ever (still possible)
-The friend I made on the way back on the bus
-The Hackneys onion loaf that we all split
-Old St. Patrick's Church (inside and out)
-Pizza at Gino's with my good Local H friends.
-The "pointy kitty" at the Red Line stop on the way back to the hotel
-Our hotel

1/2/12
-The snowstorm on the way back
-Me with Big Boy again when we stopped to eat
-Me doing a powerslide in my driveway on snow and ice upon arriving back home and hearing that Georgia missed the first FG in the 1st OT of the Outback Bowl.

Wait, no, I have evidence of the last two...

MSU won, so it's bowl tradition now

Powerslide Evidence

Sickness w/ Bonus Juice Rant (edited from Wednesday)

2012-01-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

No need to remind me that I haven't written anything in a while. I know. I haven't reviewed my 2011 yet, or given any hint at what I'm going to be aiming for this year. I'll get to it (maybe). Just put it on my "~~Honeydo~~ "Strangerdo list™." Instead, you'll get a short rant (Happy New Year to you too).

~~I'm running into~~ I've run into a stupid cold again, and ~~trying to kill it off~~ I tried to kill it before it ~~does~~ did any harm to the jump start I'm planning on having in the new year. It probably didn't help going out to the store after my last run in a soaked sweatshirt when it was 30 degrees out (or sharing that bottle of Buffalo Trace with half the concert hall NYE). Anyway, I didn't feel great ~~today~~ Wednesday, so I stopped to get a few vitamins and things to get a jump on it at lunch time.

I also wanted to grab a good juice to wash them down that also had some good things in it. I've been well aware that the majority of juice these days seems to be Karo syrup, flavoring, and dye for a while now, so I always scan for the 100% juice label first. Well this time, I screwed up. I saw the 100% on an apple and went sideways with the same brand when I saw a cranberry-grape. I made a bad assumption thinking same brand = same % of juice in each bottle, and that got me 75% less real juice. Now, I would never preach that mental abuse toward a woman is okay, but if I ever meet this "Minute Maid," I intend on making her feel like (75%) less of person.

This has bothered me for a few years now. I hate it when there's this rare occasion I get duped by a container masquerading as a juice. Anything that isn't in the realm of 100% juice, in my humble non-store-owning opinion should be relegated to the soda aisle. It would really cut down on the potential confusion, but hey I understand that's not what the industry would want, especially those that are owned by a soda company.

Anyway that's enough of that. I hope your New Year is going well. Mine will be as soon as I kick this thing, and when I actually solidify my resolutions (both on and off the road). It's really infuriating that I've been sick twice within a few weeks here. This doesn't usually happen to me, because I'm way too tough for germs. I'm coming out of it today, and actually made it to work, though, obviously, I'm not overexerting myself.

Christmas Bonanza

2011-12-27T19:56:00.000-08:00

I use the term Bonanza because not only did I make out like a bandit, I also ate like a horse. We'll get to that, though. First, I'd like to share a few holiday pointers that help me get through the season without losing my head, because there's a lot of you that turn into monsters out there. That's just not within the spirit of the season. Yelling at your elderly mother because she can't make speedy Christmas decisions about what, or if, she's going to buy something in front of your teenage daughter just doesn't send the best holiday message (or teach your daughter to respect you). Trust me, if my mom makes it to that age, I'll just be happy she's around and I'll wheel her all over the Piggly Wigglies of the world if she wants me to (though we still may still argue politics along the drive). Anyway, I know it's too late for Christmas, but these seasonal tips can be adjusted for year round purposes:

#1 - No matter how good or how bad you are at Christmas presents, remember that the people that love you will still love you the same either way.

#2 - Don't think of people out in the world during the holidays as rational beings capable of thought. Think of them as nothing more than objects in space that you have to navigate around to your objectives. Let's face it, people during the holidays don't have their minds about them, and you can't assume they can think. I just think of myself as Han Solo in that asteroid field, and expect things to get in the way. Navigate around and avoid any damage to the Millennium Falcon and be on your way. This works for the driving, the store, or wherever.

#3 - Reflection not perfection. Remember the big picture during the holidays and life in general. It's great you want to create a perfect Christmas for your family. There's hardly a person alive that doesn't, but the most important thing at Christmas is having a calm, relaxing day with your family and being thankful for the blessings you have been given (~~even in~~ especially in the rough years).

I had to reboot this calming holiday program this year, because I just could not think of any gift ideas for anyone. Normally, I am a cool as a moose in Manitoba, but it got to be two weeks before Christmas, I had nothing for anyone, and I was sick. I was just blanking. It was awful. Instead of panicking, moping (too much), or lashing out, I just decided to follow my wife to a few of her shopping locations and hope things strike me as I go. That worked out just fine, and she's a wonderful collaborator when it comes to gifts for my mom and sister. I've haven't bought so many gifts without aid of the internet in ages.

With that out of the way, we had our friends mini-Christmas on the 23rd, which usually results in a good mess of present unwrapping carnage, loads of dirty plates and glasses, and bottles of beer strung all over the house. It was a little tamer this year thanks to the two growlers in the fridge (less bottles) and some of the usual friends missing because of moving and/or spending the holidays out of state. I also planned on moving the party to the Electric Six show at Saint Andrews, but I didn't get any takers, which was too bad, because they covered this:

Christmas Eve, both of our families were coming over, and other than the Christmas cookies made the night before, it was up to me. My wife had to work, and she wasn't going to get home until 5:30. We told everyone about 6ish, but still expected her dad earlier (he's always early), and maybe even as early as the start of the Lions game. I figured I should be done cleaning about 3ish, then start work on food while taking in consideration prep and/or cooking times. With one of the family members now knowing they have a gluten allergy, I had to take that into consideration as well, and make a few substitutions. Long story short: the house got really clean, my brother and father-in-law swear I made the best meatballs they've ever had, cheeseballs are very easy to make and this is a bad thing for me to know, and gluten-free Rice Krispie treats taste the same as regular ones. I'm a big hit everywhere I go, even when I stay home, and my wife is really lucky I can handle myself around the house. I know a lot of clueless men and women out there that can't pull this off. The success goes double considering I did the bulk of my genius while the Detroit Lions were knocking the snot out of the Chargers in the first half.

Lions? Playoffs?! Merry Christmas to me!

Needless to say, we had a wonderful Christmas Eve with the families. We also went to her grandparents for the traditional spaghetti dinner on Christmas Day and over to her brother's place for some grilling on Monday. There's nothing better than grilled food in the winter. As far as the loot, let's just say I received several gifts that will complete my goals of becoming an old man (including a very nice cardigan and a long topcoat). I also received two that will continue my determination/dysfunction battle in the running universe.

Brewing Kit!!!!

Hydration Pack

5F8

2011-12-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

Well it's official, my Fatbrent's Fantastic Food F***-up Fridays has now surpassed the Police Academy Franchise with Eight. That's only if you count the lazy ones, but there are Police Academy movies that weren't exactly supreme efforts either. Anyway, ball's in your court Mahoney.

Saturday
Spent most of it still sick, but we did stop at Tia Helitas to eat after going Christmas shopping for a bit, and I did help finish a big nacho and had the fajita dinner. So that pretty much screwed the entire day.

Fajitas!

Sunday
Ate super light all day. I even took a load of calories off at the weekend Olive Garden trip (please Lord let my family find another restaurant some day) and got some Venetian Apricot Chicken thing. Like anything else there, it was okay.

However my attempts were somewhat foiled by Jessi's no bakes

Don't mind if I do...

Monday & Tuesday
I was pretty good. I brought my lunch to work and everything. We did make an Applebee's pit stop after our Christmas shopping run Tuesday at Applebees, and I got something fairly decent for me.

Chipotle Lime Chicken

I sort of ruined the day by chasing dinner with two Brewtuses of Sam Adams Winter Lager....

Glub Glub

Wednesday
This bastard got me again, but oh well, I cut off my feeding tube after lunch so it wasn't a huge disaster. It's just too easy and cheap to do on Wednesdays when I swing by it (while actually on my way to the comic store) on my lunch break. Besides, I got to talk to my cousin and wish him a Merry Christmas.

Gotcha Again

Thursday
Had another "Punt-the-Day" Lunch yesterday. I haven't grabbed an egg nog shake yet, and it was just my time to do so. So off to Halo Burger it was because theirs are the best (and have nutmeg in them I think). So it was QP combo w/the shake.

Probably ran 1/4 of this off with Jason yesterday, but then he gave us some peanut butter balls his mom made in a little tupperware thing.

Friday
Started off the day with a Twinkie and a cheese danish, so not going too well early. Continued the day pretty much with a lot of beer and not much else....Moosehead, Frankenmuth Red Sky, Bell's Porter. Finishing this blog now about 5 sheets to the wind and starving...

You Better? You Bet

2011-12-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

When I'm sick, I tend to always backtrack and start thinking what I did to get myself sick or at least start looking back trying to remember anyone in my vicinity that was visibly ill so I can quietly hold them accountable. Then, of course, there's always blaming the weather changes and just the season, or whatever. The thing is, I'm not a December illness person. In fact my last recollection of being that sick near the holidays was when I was 6 and had chicken pox. So what went wrong?

Well, as far as blaming people around me, there are plenty of options. It seems like, taking a non-scientifically random sample, about every 10th person had the same throat/sinus/achey thing going on. I could also blame myself for under-dressing when going out in the cold, and keeping on wet running clothes way too long (like the one day I wore ratty clothes running and immediately went out to the cold garage to change my oil without a coat). Even easier, I could blame me for the recent diet (or lack thereof). C'mon, you've seen what I've been putting up here. It's an artery clogging nightmare. If there were a human equivalent to the Castrol GTX commercial where they bomb a car with oil sludge, I'd be looking to the sky and trying to avoid a torrential downpour of butter and buckets of cheese, or maybe that marshmallow goo from when they wax Mr. Stay Puft in Ghostbusters.

Ever wonder if it was delicious?

Anyway, I didn't come up with any real cause, but I did have to think to myself, "If I'm avoiding crap food when I'm sick, why don't I do this when I'm well?" So I'm going to try to get nearer to the wagon if not actually on it again (at least most days). I had a really good winter last year, and I need another one to stay on track as I try to ramp up even a bit more next year.

One problem with that is keeping focus right now. With the Witchy Wolf cancelled, there's not really even a long race on the horizon until April or so. That throws a small wrench into all my high and mighty 2012 goals. Even if I haven't said what they are yet, there are already two races that I had the rug pulled out from under me on. The first I've already mentioned, and the second was Bayshore, where I really wanted to do the half marathon, and it sold out in like 4 hours. I tried several times in the morning to load the website (when work slowed down enough) on December 1st to no avail. When I was finally able to load it after lunch, all the slots were gone. I thought for a second about going for the full, but I really wouldn't want to train for my first marathon and have it be a down and back course. That just seems like something a lot more mentally challenging than a loop or something like that. I just thought back to the Martian being my first half, and being annoyed/discouraged that a good chunk of that was down and back. I'm not really interesting in setting up that same frustration for my first full. Besides, it's pretty early for me to lock into something I haven't, as of yet, even come close to being able to do.

I need some early year races to look forward to that aren't ones I could run (at least now) with a beer helmet on after competing in a Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Speaking of, even if I rededicate to turning over yet another new leaf (progress is still progress kids...I'm not shooting for anything more than improvement), I mean to get myself into Rockford's Hot Dog Hall of Fame in this upcoming new year.

It will be mine, oh yes

However, I continue to decline my friend's insistence that I could conquer Mt. Nacheesemo if I wanted to. I don't believe I could. I can't eat like that anymore*. Anyway, ladies, this is why we live shorter lives than you. Those fewer years aren't anything but the accumulation of minutes of life lost due to dares that our other male friends have forced upon us over the years. Each one takes its toll on the body, and each group of men has a different dare protocol, but in the end these practices are all a danger to male public health. Be on the lookout for the warning signs that your significant other is a dare taker.

1) He's constantly insisting he can do things to a group of men that insist otherwise

2) One of his catchphrases is "Challenge Accepted"

3) There are overwhelming amounts of discarded milk jugs, cinnamon spice containers, and Saltine boxes in the "man cave"

Anyway, outside of all that, I'm well again. I went out for a late night run today with the Tron shirt and a new little $5 toy (a Nathan LED Safety Strobe). Now, I've looked at a few of the reviews for these and they're all mixed, but at the end of the day, it's $5. I didn't have any issues with it coming unclipped like some of Amazon reviews complained about, and I had the thing on my wristband, so it was jerked around pretty decent. Honestly, the most important thing for me was that the designer put enough thought into it for one of the settings to have the lights blink sequentially one way and back the other. Visibility and battery life be damned, I say, I'd rather buy a light that blinks like the front of Kitt from Knight Rider. That's the important thing.

"A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a blogger who does not exist"

* - Unless I get into that unexplained zone of insatiable hunger that exists with the right amount of "the sauce," and there are a lot of breweries/brewpubs down there. Even then, I'm still probably looking at pretty long odds.

Sickness Saturday (& Fatty Friday Make-up)

2011-12-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

First of all, I know everyone's just dying to see what kind of wonderful food blunders have happened this past week. One reader in particular may even be enticed into eating her computer screen one of these days, but I won't name names. Sad part is, it isn't bad this week because I've been out of commission the past few days and have pretty much subsisted on soup and tea. As we speak, if I were actually well I would be at something called a "dessert party" with my lady at her friend's sister's place (the one who built our wedding cake). You gotta figure that wouldn't end well.

Tea, not beer, I swear

Instead I've got some sort of sore throat/sinus thing going on, and I fought it off a couple hours to get some Christmas shopping in, but I'm pretty much dead again now. I've wasted the last 3 days lying around doing nothing productive other than filling out my health insurance open enrollment form for work, which I missed Thursday and Friday. Besides that, I haven't done much else other than watch some old episodes of Psych and Doctor Who and sit under blankets hanging out with Scully.

Scully

Honestly, even earlier in the week, the eating wasn't all that bad (at least as a whole), so there's not a lot to report, but why break a weekly tradition?

Last Saturday

False Advertising (it's not EVERY weekend)

There was also some homemade cake and homemade ice cream had from a 1-year-old's birthday. Probably the neatest first birthday ever. She didn't understand that everyone kinda wanted her to smash the cake and make a mess. Apparently, even at 1, she's intent on acting like a lady.

Sunday

Lucky's Again

Monday

With

Tuesday

I had another Big John Steak, Onion, Cheese, and Mushroom with a large Dr. Pepper. I must have got a pretty greasy batch of steak too, because the grease off it fell on the paper and dried almost immediately like candle wax.

Wednesday

Bavarian Creme Eclair

Started feeling sick when I got home, and tried to burn it out of me with some "Extra Hot" Yellow Curry. When you order Thai food that hot, you better know what you're getting into, because it's pretty killer. My sinuses were so backed up, it barely phased me.

Yellow Curry (with the taters, chicken, and carrots already eaten)

Thursday & Friday

Nothing horrible to report other than quite a bit of 7-up

Bring back Cool Spot!

5F6

2011-12-09T10:07:00.000-08:00

Saturday

Politically Incorrect Cookies

This b/c of that horrible MSU loss

Sunday

Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo, oh yeah!

Monday

My wife's birthday, as well as Repeal Day, so we went to the Frankenmuth Brewery. Cheese ravioli with meat sauce for me, delicious burger for her, avocado bruschetta to split, and beers. I think she had a good birthday.

The Smile

The Take

Tuesday

Two, and I tried the new BK fries. I know, I'm bad

Add in the chocolate truffle wave cake for Jessi's belated birthday, because she didn't want cake the day before after dinner.

Wednesday

Hot & Ready got me again

Two of these

Thursday

Those fake Lucky Charms from Meijer that I love

Friday

I'm currently using my lunch break to write this while I eat my wife's delicious chicken stew she made way too much of (I'm guessing at least 3 day's worth). Since I can't ever get breadbowls anywhere anymore, I'm doing the next best thing and using some wheat bread essentially as a slowly disappearing (into my tummy) spoon. Suck on that all you Atkins and Paleo nuts. Yeah, so you're in good shape...I got bread....bread....BREAD!!!! That's the very reason why people say "best thing since sliced bread." It's delicious (apologies to my gluten-free sister who may read this).

Winter Exoskeleton Engage...uhhh...ENGAGE!....ENGAGE?!?!...engage??...

2011-12-07T16:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's time I get this off my chest. I am not one of those people that whine and complain about how much I hate winter. I actually really like cold weather. I love snow (even with the shovelling). Most of all I love breaking out the "bundley" clothing that winter allows. The long-sleeve shirts, the sweaters, and (especially) the hockey jerseys. In fact I can say with completely truth that winter is only #2 to fall. So I'm not really one to say I hate it and get as huffy as a bicycle just because it's cold and dark out. However, I am in a mini-funk of resentment toward it at the moment.

I haven't quite adjusted to the cold yet, and it's not that I feel like I'm freezing, but there is definitely an unevenness to the temperatures I'm feeling across the Brental region. I can't decide what's too hot or cold and where at any given time. It's like I'm feeling a bit of both all the time, especially around my face. My eyes haven't gotten used to cold air blowing directly into them yet, so I have the early winter involuntary waterworks going on with them. I still haven't been able to make proper decisions regarding the amount of layers I want, either. It's an adjustment, but right now, as far as winter goes, I'm a hot (or cold) mess.

On the other side of things, it's just so much nicer being inside. As much as I love some outdoor aspects of winter, some of the inside ones are equally part of my winter love. The feeling of walking into a warm house, and curling up with a good book, with some light music going on the stereo, some coffee, hot tea, or cocoa is very much part of my love for winter as well (not to mention the candy canes, sugar cookies, and the gingerbread). We loaded up on Christmas music the last two weeks (Johnny Cash, Trace Bundy, She & Him, etc.), and every year I make a nice Christmas mix for my friends. This year, I'm planning a two disc set with a disc of very cheerful pro-Christmas songs (Fezziwig), and then a disc of the semi-anti-Christmas songs (Scrooge, which ironically put me in a better Christmas mood than the happy ones). Either way, as usual, everyone can expect disc 2 to open with "Fairytale of New York" (don't play this at work or with children present...it is mildly offensive), which I expect at least one of them to eventually know by heart, because I don't want to try to do both voices in that song at karaoke. How about you? Any personal Christmas favorites, other than "I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas with a Dalek?"

More Plum Pud-ding?

Anyway, like I said my winter toughness just hasn't set in. After my run, I spent two hours of last night outside for the annual Flint Holiday Walk trying to toughen up a bit. However, I still think I enjoyed being inside the Buick Gallery and the Flint Institute of Art more than any of the outdoor activities (including the hot cider and Christmas cookie part). So, I suppose wussy indoor me is still winning. What measures do you take to adjust to winter and speed along the acclimation process? I could use a few tips.

Cultural Center

The Tree and Whiting

My Spark Plug Reindeer I made at Buick Gallery

Santa Run Recap from the Heartbreak Hotel

2011-12-03T22:37:00.000-08:00

I guess it's just a good day for wearing red and white. Brent here coming to you live after watching my Michigan State Spartans blow another very important game in heart-breaking fashion to Wisconsin, and finding a way out of going to our first Rose Bowl in 24 years. It's okay though, we're all used to walking around with our hearts ripped out of our chest. That's all we know.

Before I go sulk for the rest of the night, I do have to say that the Santa run was great this year. I saw bib numbers approaching the mid 1500's, so it appears that it grew three-fold from last year. Mike brought his lady this year, and since she has a bum hip right now, they decided to walk it.

Pre-Race

This was probably my last chance to prove I'm still better off the end of this year than last, and not put up some near-30 minute 5K pace. I knew I was in a Santa suit, and that would slow me down a bit, but I took some extra measures with a belt and safety pins to make sure my suit didn't malfunction this year. I figured not losing my pants this time just might help.

Santas Everywhere

Even Santas on the roof

Once we got going, I thought it was a pretty slow pace. A lot of people stopped to walk less than a mile in. I heard a small child about a 1/4 of a mile in ask his mom if they went a mile yet. Everyone within an audible distance of that let out a little chuckle. A lady running near me was carrying a bag and handing out candy canes to the volunteers and spectators alike. That was really thoughtful of her. The medics on call were singing on the ambulance's speaker "Here comes Santa Claus. Here comes Santa Claus running down Robert T. Longway." Nice.

...And they're off

When we got just past the first water stop I heard a guy yell out 13-something as the time. I freaked out thinking that I was running like a 12 or 13 minute mile, and tried really hard to speed up. My mom, brother, and sister came out to see me again this year and I waved at them as I passed the cultural center.

Action Shot

The last mile me and another guy in a Wings cap were fighting each other off, and he eventually just turned it out on me at the end, and I didn't have enough to get it back. We had a nice fist bump of recognition at the end, and a good conversation to follow. He had another friend that was shooting for a sub-35 time and we watched for him as he pulled in around 33. Then I talked to the both of them, and found out they came up from Detroit. Hopefully I'll see them around. I need some new friendly competition since a lot of the guys I used to see are M.I.A. Anyway, I manages a 27:38 by the clock, and it took me a little bit to get to the start line since I was sitting in the middle of the starting pack. I'm happy with that.

Finish

After, we went to the Torch for a delicious burger and I had a few Atwater Vanilla Java Porters, which was the peak of this Santa's jolliness today. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash away some Spartan depression with a bad 80s movie ("Three O'Clock High") and some Saugatuck brews.

VFV

2011-12-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

From the depths of a Chinese buffet coma, I'm prepared to kneel and confess some more bad eating habits.

Saturday

The Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake Problem Continues

Sunday
Mom took me out to Lucky's for pre-Birthday dinner. Ate way too much dinner bread and butter and chased it with one of these...

Chicken Parmesan w/side of Alfredo

Monday

Big John Steak & Onion

Pumpkin Spice Latte f/ 711

Around the Horn @ Sullivan's Black Forest

Followed that with eating 2 spring rolls, half an order of curry puff, and half of a Gra Pow Gai Dinner @ Bangkok Peppers.

Tuesday

Finished the Gra Pow Gai, ate some green bean casserole, some more pumpkin pie, and ate a pretty decent-sized turkey leg.

Wednesday
Did pretty well with the whole pitas with grilled peppers and onions (w/hummus & guacamole). However I did have some of those lying Steenstra's cookies

Santa does NOT live in a Windmill or ride a horse
(unless he's been in an Old Spice commercial that I am unaware of)

"I'm on a horse"

Thursday

More damn pumpkin pie (it's almost over, I swear). Finished up the pita stuff, had a sweet onion chicken teriyaki at Subway, and drank a very large bottle of hard cider and a little sip of New Holland's Whiskey

I like you...

Friday

Work's annual Christmas luncheon at the Empire Wok

Let's just say I ate pretty much every chicken in existence there (sesame, teriyaki, peanut, sweet & sour, etc.), a couple shrimp egg rolls, and 4 of those crab rangoon things. Let's just say that the only dinner I had tonight was a nap. I'm done.

Santa Run is tomorrow, my knee's killing me, and my friend Jason can't make it now. Boo! Details later.

Talkin' Turkey, the Missing 5F4, etc.

2011-11-30T19:10:00.000-08:00

Turkey Trot

The 55th Annual Flint Mott Park Turkey Trot was easily the cheapest race I've ever ran. Registration was $5 and you got a long-sleeved shirt and a generic China medal. There was a clock, but no chips, so there's no record of how ~~fast~~ slow Jason and I were going. Also, I will not be telling you.

Mott Park used to be a public golf course, but on the day of the race I think the grass was thick enough that you could have given the entire park a comb-over. Add in that it was kind of wet, a little cold, and the moles (or possibly Dig Dug) have done enough work to make every piece of ground collapse under my feet, and I had a pretty decent bit of things to slow me down.

Chunky Green Shag

The run was 3 loops around the park, with the front part going up a hill somewhat diagonally (with your right foot more uphill than your left), and then straight down it on some slick ground. I didn't see anyone wipe out, but I was almost a casualty on 2 of the 3 loops because I was trying to use the hill's momentum.

Food
Come now, you can't say that you believed for one second that I was going to hold off Thanksgiving week. Starting of what was my 5F4 cycle on Saturday, I had enough pancakes in the morning to be my daily intake of calories. Sunday was the usual family O.G. punt the calorie day away by lunch. Monday I pretty much ate nothing but Tyson chicken nuggets. Tuesday I tried to be good and grabbed a salad at lunch, but after dragging my wife to a speech/book signing that night she was starving and talked me into getting her and I a onion/green pepper deep dish pizza. Wednesday and Thursday deserve their own paragraphs.

We had our annual friends get together the day before Thanksgiving again this year. As usual, it was basically a "Meat-A-Palooza" with Ken making lasagna, Jen making beef enchilladas, me making some New England sweet and sour meatballs, and Katie making potatoes chock-a-block full of bacon. Mike rounded things out by bringing us all some Magners Hard Cider and some Bell's Christmas Ale as his usual drink surprise installment. After all that, we went to see the Muppet Movie, which gave me a personal record for longest period while smiling/laughing for the year. I just don't see how it could have been much better. Anyone that didn't like it just has to be dead inside, because even a rashly cynical bastard like me melted into a mystified 5-year-old watching that movie.

Thankgiving was the usual food orgy. I started off actually trying to be reasonable. We went to my wife's grandparents' and I kept a fairly healthy first plate, but the whole thing collapsed under her grandma's pecan pie. After that it's not like I took huge clumps of things and devoured them, but I nibbled my way to hell with the desserts, all of which were fantastic. After spending a few hours there and watching the Lions lose, we went to my brother's and ate more turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, green been casserole, and all the usual suspects. I made some pumpkin cheesecakes, and I had some of that as well as Mom's pumpkin pie. The pumpkin cheesecake recipe for 2 pies is a liar, though. It says it makes 2, but I somehow ended up with enough for 4 (freezing the others for later...maybe).

Obviously Friday was left-over day, and there still exists some left-overs, despite the fact I've made my best attempts at eating them. I've even gone to the extremes of sharing them with the cat and turtle.

Happy Thanksgiving, Newman!

New Shoes

I have a slight confession to make. Despite the fact the Brooks Ghost 3 completely tore the crap out of my heel a few times, with a TON of tape and even more stubborness I've actually still been using them. Now, I didn't really use them for many actual races or any runs of big distance, but for day-to-day shorter runs I've strapped them on every single time. I just decided that I was going to get my money's worth no matter what, and I did. The tread at the balls of my feet are completely worn to nothing.

Other than the bad heel rubbing, which, after tearing the thing apart I've found out it was just a badly placed seam, they were very functional until the last month or so where I noticed they were pretty much dead. So my outright hatred of the shoes and the brand has been replaced with a "maybe I'll try them again" but I'll "proceed with caution" next time attitude. Although it would be hard to tell "Hey, this shoe is going to eat my foot up after 10+ miles" in a store.

The other thing I've found is that, even on pavement, I'd rather just wear my trail running shoes. They just seem to get me more traction and help me pull and push myself around easier. I've been saving my trail shoes for off-road, but I keep wishing I could use them anyway, and I've finally given in. Most of the shoes I see for running are too flat, fragile in design, or soft on the bottom (or have an awful zig-zag thing going on), and they wear out too fast for me. Since it's winter and extra traction is a must anyway, I ended up buying a pair of Adidas Marathon 10 Trail Running shoes. They were a little slippery today on the paved trail as I braved the snow and black ice. They'll get better next time out, though. Other than that, I love the feel of them, and my legs felt like they could have went all day.

Seven Random Facts

2011-11-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

Ken over at Read/Write/Run has tapped me to write 7 random facts about myself after he, himself was infected with the idea from Becki at The Middle Miles. I do not see her post on this, so I'm assuming in this spreading epidemic of "seven random facts" that she is simply a carrier. Obviously, given the fact I'm writing this, I am fully susceptible to the contagion. Note to self: zombie movie where the zombies are created from a magical curse placed on a chain letter...nevermind, that sounded better in my head. Write 5 more people for good luck and an unnatural hankering for brain stew (not the Green Day song).

3...2...1...Contact!

1) I don't/can't do planes. I hate heights, but compound that with a plane someone else is in control of (which also makes me uncomfortable) and I can't do it. I did try once, but I locked up like the Tin Man at the airport, and I've kind of given up on it. I still work a little on the heights thing at times when I feel up to it. I've climbed ladders up to 50 ft roofs and I was on steel grating about 100 feet up at a wood burning power plant not too long ago (which is a win despite the fact I bailed on going the next floor up). When I did the Warrior Dash, there were quite a few climbing obstacles that I just had to swallow that lump in my throat and just do without thinking. Is it possible to fly if you're completely unconscious? When are we going to develop teleportation devices?

"Will you knock me out, please?"

2) I'm probably much more abrasive in person than I seem here. You may not see it here much because I'm generally writing with a good mood wind at my back, and I think overall I am fairly good-natured, easy-going, and fun-loving person. However, I love a good debate, and I will argue points I don't even believe in to the point where a lot of people get visibly upset with me. Sometimes that's the best part of starting the debate in the first place. I will usually accept a defeat gracefully, though, but you have to actually win first. The only exception is when someone is trying to persuade me to do something I really don't want to do. Whatever logic you throw at me, doesn't matter, no means no. Other than that, I'm also very direct, and sometimes not very tactful at being so. I let a lot of things fly out of my face in my outdoor voice that shouldn't go past the tongue at all. Also, sometimes I can seem like I'm blowing people off, when I'm really not. Things like that. I still have a great deal to learn about living in society, and sometimes even when I'm congnizant of what I should do and how I should be, I knowingly refuse to do or be so.

3) Peaches and Ham are my food Kryptonite. Anything predominantly containing peaches is disgusting to me. I don't like them, and I don't like them in anything, either. I will, on rare occasions, suffer through a beer with peach notes, but that's about as far as it goes. The story goes that while my dear mother was pregnant for me, she ate nearly an entire bushel of peaches over the course of a week. I guess I was sick of them before I was even born. The ham, well, I just hate it. I don't really like any pork products much, honestly (yes even bacon...I know that makes me less of a man).

4) I'm "Sweet-talker" Drunk. Some people are sad drunks, some are raging angry drunks, and some are just foolish drunks (and all of those have materialized in me as well at certain times), but the most common drunk you get from me is this. It is a super power that I wish I could pass along to my single male friends. However, it still works really well on the wife, so it isn't being wasted. It's not just some misplaced perception of myself, either. This classification has come from outside sources.

5) I have an extensive collection of Care Bears. I loved them growing up, and I still make reference to them to this day. This led to me getting one as a present once. Then came another and another. Eventually it got out of hand, and I bought a few myself. It's okay now though, I've stopped (I think).

6) I once moved in with my worst enemy. No, I'm not talking just deciding to move in with someone and them being the roommate from hell. I'm talking flat out moving in with the person you may like least in the world at the time. How does this happen? I still don't know. He was finishing up school and wanted to get out of his Mom's, and wanted a roommate. Nobody else was available or responsible enough to room with him at the time. So he asked me if I wanted to get a place with him. At the time, considering where he was looking, there was no benefit for me to do this. It wasn't going to be cheaper for me. I wasn't any closer to work, and I wasn't really the type to want permanent company. I liked my place to myself, and it was all clean, all mine, and at whatever temperature I wanted, with the TV on whatever movie or antenna receivable station I chose, or any music I wanted in the background. I guess I just realized my life could use a shake-up, so I said went along with it just to see what would happen. Long story short, as it stands now, the guy's one of the best friends I have, and in the process I've added several other close friends because of this move. It could also be argued that this sudden change in life trajectory led me directly to my wife as well.

"The Roommate!"

7) I'm sometimes a "walker"...a sleepwalker, that is. It's not something that happens often, but it has been known to happen from time to time. Each time I've done it, it's been in conjunction with times of great stress in my life. It's only happened once in the past 5 years, and it happened at my wife's (girlfriend at the time) apartment only a few months into our relationship. The details of these episodes are always more funny than frightening.

Good early 90s comic that never quite caught on

5F3 (You know the drill)

2011-11-18T17:05:00.000-08:00

Saturday

Not that the popper calories counted (see clown from the last entry)
Still considering the possibility it wasn't their fault because
I love them too much

Sunday

Olive Garden: Stuffed Rigatoni with Chicken

Yes, I know I was just at the OG last week. I pretty much go there every Sunday because, for some reason, my family loves it too much to go anywhere else. I can think of at least 3 better Italian joints (let alone restaurants in general) within a 2 mile radius. Oh well, I'm almost always out-voted, and the creatures of habit get their way.

Had a few of these as well...

...and one of these...

Monday

I still really love eggnog, even after Dave Attell
revealed what it REALLY is made from. Had 3 glasses
Monday.

If you insist on looking up Dave Attell's take on what eggnog is, I can NOT be held responsible. Keep in mind the comedy album was called "Skanks for the Memories." Also, keep in mind that it's Dave Attell.

In addition to the usual occasional beer I also have been drinking a lot of wine lately. Had 3 glasses between dinner (where I made some real good, real low cal eggplant parm.) and reading time.

Hey, those left-over boxes of wedding
wine aren't going to drink themselves...

Tuesday
Out of curiosity, I had to see what the deal was with these Flint-style vegan Coney Dogs at the new "Vegan Soul Hut" place. Interestingly enough that venture has merged with a regular barbecue and full on meat place, and they seem to get along fine. Tried two of the regular ones, and one of the vegan ones. Honestly, with whatever they're putting in the sauce and how spicy it is, I couldn't tell much of a difference.

Flint-style Coneys x 3

Wednesday

I barely ate anything Wednesday, and then ran on top of it. When I finally got home "dinner" was just some cornbread (the good way with the creamed corn and all) and coffee spiked with some irish cream.

Thursday
I was doing just fine until Jessi showed up with her father and they wanted me to go to
We got our usual green pepper/red onion deep dish.

Swerved all over "Wing Street" too

Also had my first Steel Reserve 211 in 10+ years. I haven't had one since I was a broke college kid and they had them for 87¢ out-the-door. Some things should remain in the past.

Friday
Left-over pizza, more wine, more nog.

Bonus F
Fozzie Bear

I'm excited about the Muppet Movie coming out next week. I'm happy that they continue to thrive today, in an environment where decent entertainment is hard to come by. The best thing is, they can be around forever. Puppets don't have to ever age or die. The Muppets can be around as long as we love them. Who wants to see an old Fozzie Bear still trying to make it as a comedian or even as a successful one that loses his edge and does horrible movies for years on end (e.g. Eddie Murphy or Adam Sandler)? Nobody wants to see Fozzie mature or get old. It would be sad watching him all old and wobbly in his Wakka Wakka Walker.

Streak Over

2011-11-13T13:17:00.000-08:00

No long run this weekend. Running mileage increase streak over. I either got some bad jalapeno poppers or a 24 hour stomach flu. Not sure which, but not taking chances and threw the rest of the poppers away. Recovering today. This sucks. I'll spare the gory details.

Fatbrent's Fantastic Food F***-Up Fridays - Part Deux

2011-11-11T12:58:00.000-08:00

Everybody loves a sequel. Ok...let's go..

Saturday and Sunday were really good. Part of that was just having a big run on Saturday and not having a family get-together for food on Sunday. That's always going to help.

Monday

Bill Knapp's Cake. Yes it still exists, even if the restaurant doesn't

Tuesday

Blame the deep fryer

Stupid Halloween Left-overs still

Wednesday

I'm thinkin' Arby's too much

Thursday

Casa de Alicia (dramatization...but it did look that good).
Killer hot sauce. Between them and the Thai place by work
I am going to burn a hole in my stomach.

Friday

Yes, Arby's got me again today. No, I'm not proud, but I did go and get my free Michigan State basketball magnet schedule from them, which was the main objective anyway. No more Arby's next week, I swear.

Anyway, that's it for me. Have a good weekend. The wife and I will be heading to Smurf Village and I'll maybe try to catch some of my Spartans playing North Carolina on the aircraft carrier at one of the bars in enemy territory before we go see "Revenge of the Electric Car" with Mike and Annie.

Nerdsicle: Coming Winter 2011

2011-11-10T18:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, the wind was really killer yesterday. Leaves were getting blown at us so hard, I thought they may actually do a little damage.

What is this, the Wood Man stage in Mega Man 2?

A big shout out to all the men celebrating "Movember," especially Jonas Hiller (even though he plays for a fake hockey team), who has put photos of his entire team with mustaches on his goalie mask.

I, myself, am not allowed to participate. I used up my mustache exemption this year hoping I could shoot the Tigers into the World Series sporting the Magnum. I was not successful.

Where's my Ferrari and TC with the Chopper?

It's getting dark way too early. So, for any of you that were worried about me running in the dark and traffic (especially light cycles) not seeing me, fret no more. I've got this covered.

Yes, this is a glow-in-the-dark TRON shirt. Jealous?

I challenge anyone to out nerd me on the road from now on. I mean, I've already got a Blackest Night Flash Blue Lantern shirt, a Run Fatboy Run shirt, and a Homestar Runner shirt, and that's just the loosely running related ones. Now, for night runs, I will be a glowing geek beacon.

Speaking of, I've been coming home with a slim brown magazine bag every Wednesday for a while. I tried to hide it at home, but eventually the question came up, quite a while ago now, why I was coming in with a bag and running upstairs. She probably wondered if I was hiding a porn addiction, but it is much much worse than that...

It's comics...

First it was just "The Guild" comic series (supplementing Felicia Day's incredibly funny webisodes of the same name). Then it was that and the Infestation series where the zombies were taking over Star Trek, Ghostbusters, Transformers, and GI Joe. Then I started catching up on Green Lantern and a few others I used to like years back before I sold all my books (and, fortuitously, before the market bottomed out). Now, with DC rebooting their entire product line with the "New 52," I've pretty much been fully sucked in. I'm even reading Aquaman, and liking it.

Damn you Geoff Johns and your superb writing!

...And...I'm feeling like I might be back

2011-11-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Minus having to give the deep fryer a whirl and make us some waffle fries, I haven't eaten bad this weekend.

The New Enemy in the Making

Yesterday, I went off on a 14+ mile run to make this week #5 that I've increased mileage. I really only needed 8 to keep the streak, but I had to see if I could push out something killer this weekend. I didn't even want to go out at all yesterday. I kept telling myself, "Mow the lawn, or do some work around the house...you can run tomorrow." For the first 5 miles, I still felt that way. It was a rough go early, and I'm pretty sure I could have walked as fast as I was running, but I was already out there, and cutting it off would have been a major failure. So I'm still keeping the dream of the double-Crim alive this year. We'll see what happens. If I manage that I'll be scrambling to find that out-of-state make-up race. Any suggestions within close range of Michigan (OH, IL, IN, etc) but not in Michigan would be greatly appreciated.

I'm also starting to plan out the races for next year. It really saddened me to find out there would be no Witchy Wolf this year (at least not the 15 miler). I really was excited for that one, knowing I could handle the mileage. Same damn thing happened to me last year for the Frozen Blueberry, but that's apparently back this year. One thing my friend and I have been discussing is running the Bigfoot Race. I've already looked pretty extensively into buying some snowshoes for it. I will probably pick them up this weekend, even if we don't do the snowshoe race. I will probably need them for our trail running this winter.

Fatbrent's Fantastic Food F***-up Fridays (In Photos)

2011-11-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday

Sunday

No horrible eating to report

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

and

Thursday & Friday

from...

Very sad that Witherbee's is closing so I had their best sandwich two days in a row.

It's been a bad week...

Return to Power (badly fueled power, but power nonetheless)

2011-11-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

I'm actually getting back into my groove here. My mileage has been on a steady up the last 4 weeks. My speeds completely suck, but I've only just started to push a little again. I haven't really had the mental desire to go fast lately. I'm in winter mode, and as long as I get back close to even with summer me, I'm good with that. Plenty of time for next year's ramp up.

Rock!

Speaking of winter mode, I had my first run with a stocking cap Sunday, running the Crim route. There was a lot of traffic out, and they stalled me at nearly every cross street. I also lost my focus when I realized, going by Atwood, that I missed yet another UM-Flint Kodiaks football game and it was the last one of the year. I really meant to get out to one of those (dammit!).

Winter mode also forced us to finally actually turn the furnace on finally. The only problem was, it didn't come on. That added a little drama to our Saturday, as my wife and I were both in a good mental state about getting rid of her car and getting her a new(ish) one. She needed it and did a lot of research and found a great deal on a very low mileage used Vibe. I have a little car envy, but my old car is still perfect, and I'm good with it until it starts to bite me in the back pocket. Going to do that also kept me from seeing that horrible MSU/Nebraska debacle, so thank goodness for that.

Hello New Friend

The rest of the weekend was book-ended by a trip to Detroit to see Evil Dead: The Musical (Friday) and a trip to my mother-in-laws for dinner (Sunday). Evil Dead was wonderful, and if you missed it, sorry, but it's probably too late for you now (this year). When you walked in you were told "If you sit where there is a plastic cover over the seat you may or not be drenched in fake blood, which may or may not come out of your clothes." Exact warning word-for-word...and those people up there were very liberally hosed down at times. Too bad only 1 of the 3 of us that went knew that this wasn't a "dressy bessy" theatre gig and wore his jeans and t-shirt instead of nice clothes.

At least they didn't start freaking out and shaking their head and burying their head in their lap and other entertaining reactions involved weirdly staggered breathing like the girl in the row in front of us. When they were approached by security, they told a little fib about her drinking too much, and they got her out of there. I called B.S. and had to explain to an older lady, that somehow was completely buffered from the 60s and 70s, why the alcohol claim was ridiculous ("drunk my a**...ha ha"). Can you guess what I said it was?

Anyhow I'm back on the good running habit train. The eating train is still derailed, but I'm thinking of adding a nice weekly segment to call myself out on here with that. I'm going to do a mini one here just by showing you the floor of my passenger seat from today. No it's not all FROM today, but it's there today. Stupid coupons and Halloween candy forming a coalition of the filling...every day this week has been bad.

Sad...

Still though, hard to call yourself out and say you're going to do better while watching Colbert and eating his Ben and Jerry's brand ice cream...so I won't bother.

Don't Judge Me

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T14:54:00.000-07:00

There isn't any time for an entry because we are about to get slammed with trick-or-treaters in about 10 minutes. However I would like to wish everyone a safe and happy Halloween. Party on!

Excellent!

P.S. - I can't seem to get past the Wayne/Garth thing. It seems wrong for us to do any sort of kissing in these costumes. It feels more dangerous than crossing the streams with proton packs.

Squirrels, Running, Bleeding, Pumpkins, and Beer

2011-10-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

I'm back to working on some short distance greasy fast speed. I'm not thinking after what I've been doing that there's a lot of chance for me to set any 5K PRs before the end of the year, but I want to get back within striking distance. There are at least two more chances to prove I haven't lost 2-4 minutes.

Suicidal Squirrel

While I've been doing this, I've had to tread carefully. Everywhere I want to run, there are squirrels that want to die. At least two times on every run, I end up running toward a squirrel sitting near a road with one or more cars coming toward us. Then it's up to me to take the perfect route around the squirrel to not spook it out to its certain death. So far so good. I don't want squirrel blood on my hands (...or feet), even though I know one of them did this to my pumpkin... (still no photographic proof of the culprit, but I've caught them in the act)

Yes, this is really my pumpkin, not some
random picture from the net.

Today's run was interesting, given the fact I cut off most of my thumb's knuckle skin. It started re-bleeding about halfway through the run.

You don't really want to see what's under there

So I got home and did a re-band-aiding (double hyphen, what does it mean?!?) and taping and it stopped again. I grabbed my shower, water, and had a couple Mooseheads. They are left-overs from my MSU/UofM get-together that nobody showed up to because every one of my UofM fan friends, except the one who's actually an alumnus of U of M-AA, were too wussy to show. That was probably because they thought this was going to happen...

Dramatization of 10/15/11

Anyway, Moosehead is usually my beer of choice for anything MSU-related, because, back then, it was the most exquisite "top-notch" stuff that I got to drink. So it represented good times, and for some reason when I'm watching State or at my old campus, I have to have the moose with me. Some of the other, more common beer (or semi-equivalent) staples of that time I've since outgrown.

It's not "Moo U," it's Moose U

After that, our friend came over to carve pumpkins with us and my wife bought us both another pumpkin (since hers got eaten today too). Actually she bought two for her...

Hers

Mine. Yeah, I'm part of the Nerd Herd
P.S. - You have until Friday to watch the first
4 Seasons of "Chuck" and enjoy the final season
in real time. You're welcome, NBC. I'm sure my
message here will reach countless sums of people

Heart-breaker, love taker, sandwich maker don't you mess around with me...

2011-10-18T23:16:00.000-07:00

Listen, married people don't mean to let themselves go. Sometimes it just happens, and I now have a theory why. It's the kitchen swag. Suddenly I have all these new food-related toys that I have to try out.

I have brewed maybe 5 pots of coffee since we moved into our new house. That is, before the new coffee maker. I usually drink enough coffee at work to never want any here. The second I get a good coffee maker, I pray I can talk guests into coffee just to make some. After the tailgate challenge, Jason and I picked up some doughnuts at Tim Hortons (no I'm not still pretending to be Canadian anymore...much). The second I got home and Pat showed up, I was asking everyone if they wanted coffee. My wife had a half a cup, and I drank the rest of that pot. I've brewed 3 pots in the last 2 days. It's becoming a problem.

We also got a stone pizza pan cooky thing. So I went nuts with that twice.

Brenchos Pizza: Sorry, we don't deliver

Then there's that omelette flippy pan thing, which made us clean out a carton of eggs in a week (which never happens, except when I was taught how to make the "Jeff breakfast," but that's another story all together...).

...I had to beat them to death with their own shoes.

Anyway, I can't even try justify that it was healthy, but at least there were green peppers in there.

The one that really is the problem, though....the sandwich maker

"I wish I knew how to quit you"

The thing makes a perfect sandwich. I've tried it several times. People tell me the novelty of having one will wear off, but I don't believe them. They underestimate my sandwich love, and the sandwich love of my wife. I'm surprised we've even bothered to unplug it at this point. It really has been used that much. However, the madness needs to stop (right?). Man does not live on fillings (mostly American cheese) hermetically sealed in bread alone...

Lord help us when I finally get some oil in that deep fryer...

Take us out Detroit Grand Pubahs

P.S. - Don't lecture me about how the love taker part comes last and it's the dream maker part in the middle on that Pat Benatar song. I know. It just didn't work for my title without the switcheroo.

Tailgate Challenge/Rivalry Weekend

2011-10-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's official, I've forgotten how to run short races. It's been over two months since running a 5K, and, though I'm not sure we really got proper times starting that late after everyone else, it still wasn't good.

The tailgate challenge usually splits the runners into Michigan and Michigan State fans with the home team for that weekend running clockwise on the inner loop, and the away team on the outer loop running counter-clockwise. Due to a breast cancer awareness walk going on at the same time, the route was cancelled and we just all ran the same way on the Retread route. It's too bad they didn't schedule them back-to-back, because I know a lot of people would have been down for both. I could have dealt with a cool down.

Anyway, the route change was kind of a downer, and you'd think they'd be able to work their way around it to preserve the tradition of the run. It's not like it is a certified course or anything, and you can just estimate a 3.1 mile loop. That's one of the best things about the course; going against the rival school and doing a little stare-down and a bit of taunting about the game to come.

Like many big in state rivalries, both sides have their reasons for coming out on one side or the other, and sometimes these reasons drive people on the opposite side nuts. Then we do a good job stereotyping the other side, and pointing out the worst in them. Those of us that are more civil in the matter understand that both institutions have their merits and are generally filled with decent folks.

I come from a divided family as far as MSU/U of M goes. My parents didn't attend either, but members of my extended have gone to both schools, and my uncle actually went to one for undergrad and med school at the other. Given my parents extreme indifference to the whole thing, I could have went either way. I was even dressed in clothing from both schools when I was little, but hopefully any photos of me wearing a block M have been destroyed.

When I think back, I have a vague memory of the moment I chose my allegiance to Michigan State. It was during the rivalry game weekend, and I had made the statement "well, they're both from Michigan, so what's the difference," while my Dad had people over at our house watching the game. One of his friends rooting for Michigan said something to me, I can't remember what. Either way, I didn't like it, so I rooted for MSU the rest of the game as they were whipped to a pulp and I was being taunted by a cocky Michigan guy. That's pretty much how it's gone ever since, until fairly recently.

In addition to going to many more Spartan games with my uncle, and fighting against a majority of Wolverines (at least people that claim to be) for the most of my life, I completed the process of becoming a Spartan in 2001 by graduating from Michigan State. I love my school, and I don't take to people berating it, or making assumptions that I went there because I couldn't go to the other one.

I'm with this guy

Newsflash kids, I never applied to Ann Arbor, and I had the grades to go anywhere I damn well pleased. There were even moments where a few complications at my dorm upon arriving at MSU made me threaten to disenroll, take a semester off and apply to Michigan for the next term. Yes, it almost happened, and I would have become one of them, but I stuck it out and I'm glad I stayed put. It was one of the best experiences I've had, and I'm not sure it would have been as good in Ann Arbor, or that I would have even survived in that town given that the place is just so expensive. Even in East Lansing, I was usually flat broke and got dinner on many many occasions by taking a box cutter with me to the dumpsters and cutting off the "collect 10 for a free pizza/pokey stick" cards off of discarded Gumby's pizza boxes. How about you guys? Did you make any sketchy moves to survive at college? I made quite a few. Nothing that hurt anyone else, just general loss of self-dignity type stuff.

That thing in the top corner (used to be on the bottom right).

Anyway, though I value the academic strides we've been making a lot more, I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me some satisfaction when we win the Paul Bunyan Trophy. I get to sit on my couch and smile knowing I won't be getting a rash of calls from Michigan fans about the game. One of them is even an MSU alumnus, which I can't fathom. Had I went down that dark path to Ann Arbor (dark not even referring directly to the morgue lighting in the gloomy dorms or the crows all over the campus symbolizing the death of the human soul), I would have switched allegiances completely because that would have been my school. It wouldn't have mattered how I raised myself to root for State, I would have been a Wolverine.

Trophy games are a great thing

In a way, I still am, because I got a second degree from U of M-Flint a few years back, which I also support and have pride for, but I don't connect myself to Ann Arbor. Besides, I'm still hoping they break off on their own eventually and lose the U of M association.

"Well... that'll be an interesting day"

Anyway, I'm happy we got up to do the run again this year, even though it was much less exciting, given the format. I'm also glad the Spartans won for the 4th year in a row, which has never happened in my lifetime. I just wish we hadn't done it in green and gold jerseys that looked like they were cheaply made by the old Steve and Barry's for Oregon or Notre Dame. I'm sick of the association with the movie 300, which I believe was the impetus for this overwhelming addition of "bronze." Get the tradition straight, even the fight song says "fight for the only colors GREEN and WHITE"...not "green and white....and bronze, and sometimes gray, and black trim...." I'm sorry, I hate it (almost as much as I hate my university being sponsored and led on a leash by Nike). Stick with the green and white, even if you can never settle on the proper tone for the green. I also wish some of our players played with a little more class, but class and football rarely goes together anyway, so what can you do?

Ick

Oh, and Jason totally beat me, by almost half a minute.

Climbing Up On Solsbrooksie Hill...

2011-10-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

Who's idea was this anyway? I blame the Crim foundation for packaging this race in with the Crim race and tempting us to sign up for both. When it's spring/summer and you're in your tip-top shape of the season, it's no big deal to say "Yeah, another half-marathon after the Crim and just after your honeymoon...no big whoop." I'm no longer in that zone.

Jason and I got an early jump as to not repeat the rush of the Martian Race. We left way too early. I also didn't prepare for the 40 degree temperatures, and unless I wanted to run in a large green corduroy GAP coat, I thought I was just going to have to let my teeth chatter for 2 hours before the race. Luckily the Brooksie Way's shirt was a nice red long sleeve shirt, so that just got added under the running ensemble, which was just a "Little Lebowski Urban Acheiver" t-shirt. I guess I just expected it to warm up like every other day had.

Red LS "Tech" Shirt

Even with that, Jason and I were still finding excuses to duck into the heated tents, and spent a lot of time in the big tent where my wedding's DJ was playing lots of classic rock tunes. We eventually went to the outside world 10 minutes before the race and lined up just behind the 10 min pace, and then we waited through about 40 minutes of announcements about the race being delayed before the race actually started. There goes my body temperature...

Of course that never lasts long. Even with it probably being 45 degrees now, it only takes about 1/2 of a mile before I'm actually accumulating a few sweat droplets on my brow, and by 3/4 they're starting to flow toward gravity's pull. The first sweat of the race has begun, and now it's time for the traditional look-around. Who's looking at me sweating already and giving me the traditional pity look like "oh honey, you're not gonna make it." Uh huh...there it is. It never fails. Do not be alarmed, ma'am, this is a normal occurence. I ~~will~~ might be fine.

For the first 4 miles, Jason and I went side-by-side at a seemingly slowish pace. The way we've slacked off, the goal of this one was to "just finish." That goal didn't get much loftier as we were getting caught by Riley the drubbler, who is awesome, granted, but is not exactly moving at warp speed because he's also dribbling 3 basketballs. So when a man at least twice your age can dribble 3 balls and catch you, it gets in your head a bit.

I wasn't making it much further in the state I was in, though, so the second we hit a line of trees, I warned Jason I needed a leak break and told him to keep on going so he wouldn't think I got hurt and stop. Then as soon as I saw an opening, I was off the trail. I wasn't going to make the 13 miles without one, so I decided to get it out of the way and lighten the load, rather than feel like I had a very large surgically implanted Capri Sun pouch in my lower abdomen for 5-6 more miles and then have to go anyway. That's a first, ladies and gents. Never in my history have I had a mid-race break to go shoot the pink pistol at nature's firing range.

With that out of the way, I did a nice hard push to catch back up to Jason, which took about 2 miles or so. I still suspect he held back for me to get back up there, because I shouldn't have caught up that quick given how long my break had been. Even with my break, we still had a nice 1:05:00 split going at the halfway point in the park. We had a short conversation about picking it up to try to get under 2:00:00, but my knowledge of what was left to come pretty much quashed that train of thought.

That was probably wise in the end, too. The whole rest of that race is like this...

Rochester Hills, Brooksie miles 7-13 (visual approximation)

I don't think there was another 1/2 mile of straight land after mile 8. It was all up and down, with very little down. Every time you get to the top of a hill, there's another one right in sight. There were several times where I said to myself "I swear, if I get up above this one, and there's another hill, I'm just going to quit." Every time, there was another hill, but there was no quit. Back when we first started running, Jason and I would lie to each other about a hill being the "last hill" just to keep the other going. He did it to me on the trails. I did it to him on the Crim course at the Boo-Radleys when we did our first run on that. Of course, when you say it aloud and other racers believe you, they don't seem to be as amused. The hills never really actually ended. Sorry we're liars, but we only really meant to lie to ourselves. You should stop eavesdropping. Besides, the place is called Rochester Hills for a reason, did you really think there would only be 3 hills?

"Then it's not just a clever name..."

Even with a few of the hills in there being murder and almost making us want to stop, we talked after the race about this point being somewhat of a morale builder. We've totally blown our training, but we were over halfway through and, even with all the hills, we knew at this point we were still going to make it. We knew it so much that Jason and I allowed ourselves to be talked into a beer along the way about mile 8 or 9. After that beer, we were a little less convinced, but we shook that off and, all-in-all, I was probably wrongly convinced that it helped me. Another new thing to put on the list...first "during beer" ever. Whatever, we were just having fun at this point. Imagine that, having fun at a half-marathon while complaining how little you've done and how out of shape you are. Who would have ever thought we'd see that day?

A couple 10 or 20 (5?) or so more "last hills" and we were done. We both made a nice charge at the end to make sure that the front-runner speedwalker guy wasn't going to beat us (those hills really gave him the advantage at the end) and finished about a second apart. We didn't feel like hanging out long, and I had places to be (church, family, friend's going away party). So we left almost immediately after, got on the shuttle bus back to the parking lot (a real nice touch by the race to save our legs, I might add), and drove home.

First time running over 10 miles and not sweating through ALL of my shirt

It was a great race, and it was a challenging one as well. I'm glad it's over, though. There won't be anything over a 10K from here out, and I'm good with that. I'm also good with the 2:14:24, which, for the record is better than the goal I set to beat the DxA2 time, which I honestly in my heart-of-hearts knew I couldn't do, but still did. Not as good as the Panda time, but that was in the dark on a totally flat course, and I wasn't expecting a miracle.

Medal # uhh... who knows?

I skipped the Big House Big Heart to go to an orchard and pick pumpkins and have cider and doughnuts, but I'm sure I'll do the tailgate challenge this weekend. I'm skipping Turkey Trot Detroit out of spite for them screwing my shirt situation last year, and will probably stay in Flint for the local one. Other than that, don't expect too much from me. I still have two goals on the board, including finishing a double loop on the Crim course and running a race out of state. I doubt either will happen, but I will let you know if I manage to get a clean slate. It could happen...

Setting the Scene

2011-10-08T22:25:00.001-07:00

It's been no secret to my wife, my friends, my family, or anyone who has watched me only post once since the Crim that I've been in a horrible funk here. The Crim is my Superbowl, so if I have success there it's simply natural for the runner in me to, in effect, be "going to Disney World."

Also, don't forget, despite the Brooksie being this past weekend, it was the least of my concerns. I had better things to think about.

Friday

I was occupied with the annual Red Wings/Maple Leafs game with my friends. Last year I rooted hard for the Wings and made good fun of the Leafs (and Dayle our Canadian pal) the whole game, so it's only natural, given I don't really care about either team, to show up decked out in a Leafs jersey with a stocking cap on and a cup of Tim Hortons. Dayle's reaction upon first seing me was priceless, and being an ironic Maple Leafs fan at Joe Louis Arena is an entertaining way to go, even if you do waste a little time of your day making sure you learn the Canadian National Anthem. What can I say, there's still that natural actor in me from playing leads in school plays.

"I know that you wanna be Canadian..."

I also bailed out Jason by getting my brother to come and pay for an extra ticket. Everyone I know declined to stay home and watch the Tigers/Yankees game, but his cable was out anyway, so he jumped in. To my friends: Sorry you stayed home just to watch a lot of rain on the tellie...suckers. The lessons here are: 1)never assume that a lady will actually go to sports with you and 2) never stay home to watch things when you could be doing something (it's lame).

Saturday
Quickly following our nuptuals, my wife's maid of honor had her wedding this weekend. I had a few tasks.

1) Figure out something to wear - Now, just to be clear, I am not your hopeless, fashion-challenged male that has no idea how to dress himself. I may not be the traditional handsome debonaire man here, but when it comes to nice clothes that work with my body type, I have an arsenal, and I can bring the heat.

Slight problem, though. All of my suits, that I figured would be fine, now fit me like a child that got into daddy's closet. My jackets have reached sleeping bag status. Now what?

2) Set up for the wedding - Mike and Katie did so much behind the scenes of our wedding that I hadn't realized, so I owed them HUGE. I knew that Katie's parents would be giving me things to do, and I was good with that. I was even glad I would be able to return the favor and help them. The one thing I didn't know I would be doing is carrying their wedding cake (handmade by her sister) from inside the house to the reception tent outside. Apparently Mike did it for us, and it stressed him out, so now it was my turn.

3) Pray hard - Friday's weather was cold, rainy, and awful Less than a month ago, it's 91 for our wedding and suddenly we have mid-40s. If I'm a bride and see Friday's weather, and head to our house with some things for the next day still left undone...I'm freaking out. Katie was obviously stressed, but not as much as you'd expect. I was praying and hoping beyond hope that they did not get dumped on, because at those temps it would have been intolerable.

I woke up at 7:30 Saturday morning to make sure I figured out something good to wear. Patching together a great dress shirt that my sister bought for me (that I've never wore because I was too fat), a brand new tie, an really nice sweater my mom got for me 3 years ago, and an old hat that belonged to grandpa, I was able to piece together something classy and old-fashioned where everything matched. The only problem was that I had to go with my feet-killing brown shoes that rub my heels like fatter me's thighs in corduroy.

Katie's parents had me do a lot, but nothing unreasonable. The cake was a two man job, and oh boy was it scary. I spent most of the trip going backwards, on wet grass, down a slight hill, with lumpy, uneven ground, with fallen hickory nuts lining the yard. It was frightening, and in addition there were: the stairs, navigating around tent stakes, straps, and ropes, and going around tables and chairs. The collective sigh from me and the other chum carrying this thing is the loudest, most relieved, most synchronized sigh I've heard in my life.

So all went well, except for nobody even touching a pony keg of Coors that Mike bought instead of what he and Katie agreed on because he simply waited too long to order. Oh well, live and learn. The guests didn't even finish two 24 packs of Sam Adams Octoberfest (I only had 2), so there really wasn't a lot of drinking going on, and the reception ended somewhat early. I'm guessing Mike did not try to do what I did, and attempt to drink it all the next day, because he's smarter than this guy...

"Wheeze the juice"

Does beer kill weeds? Let's find out.

Obviously the Brooksie already happened and you can probably figure out who I am and how I've done if you look through the results, but "Spoilers..."

I'm back from the 'moon/Where to start?/Uh-oh

2011-09-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's the deal. I haven't written in what seems like forever (nearly a month), and a lot has happened. First of all, I'm now a married man. Second, I just got back from our honeymoon about a week ago. Third, I'm in the midst of the usual post-Crim collapse with the Brooksie Half looming on October 2nd. Fourth, I've actually done a little bit of running lately, including a 10K that was paired with two concerts and a drinking festival (amidst post-honeymoon exhaustion) one weekend at the Detroit Zoo (the 10K, not the drinking festival). I can't catch all of it up, it's way too daunting, so bullet points? Yeah, bullet points.

Here goes...

The Wedding

Servers at work went down the day before, not allowing me to get out early. Had to do many wedding errands after leaving work mid-day until the servers came back up.
Lugged two 160+ lb kegs in ice buckets myself into the hall with zero help due to work scheduling conflict, while some guy, not offering to help, talked my ear off asking questions about the building. I was really short with him given the situation. He went to the office there to tell on me for being rude. I don't work there.
Got a haircut and picked up my tux within a single hour just before my wedding rehearsal.
My best man's parents (who are like my 2nd parents) took me to a Tiger's game that night before, which I barely got home in time to ride with them to.
Never did a bachelor party. I just decided to hang with a few close friends the rest of the night and was totally ready to just enjoy watching the time tick off getting to the wedding.
You and your friends should not all look at one specific person while watching "Hot Tub Time Machine" when a character says "It's like that friend who's an a-hole, but he's our a-hole."
A morning run for shaving supplies sent my groomsmen into a tailspin for a few minutes thinking I pulled a "runaway groom" (as if...).
That same run had a small tearful collapse of joy involved at Rite Aid due to the song they were playing there.
Because of that, I think I avoided crying at my own wedding.
It rained EVERYWHERE around us, except our outdoor wedding location. There it was 95 degrees and sunny.
Our ringbearer decided to tell our string quartet "I don't like that music" quite audibly during the ceremony. Everyone's a critic.
She was stunningly beautiful. I looked like I had mopped a floor with the back of my head.
It rained as soon as we left the park, and stopped the second we got out to take pictures of just us downtown.
The reception hall was gorgeous. The caterer did show up and did a really good job. I didn't have to break into my "emergency money" pocket fund and send anyone anywhere for anything.
Our wedding was really "dancey," myself included, and it sounds like everyone had a lot of fun.
Every drink I got was either abandoned, lost, or left behind somewhere. In the end I had maybe a beer and a half.
The photo booth was a crazy big hit. Glad it was cleared and we got it kind of last minute. Some of the photos are priceless.
It was all over before I knew it, and despite what everyone says about being way too exhausted after their wedding, I was still wired and ready for more.
You shouldn't forget your car keys at your friend's house so you have to walk back there from your house after the wedding before you can actually drive to your hotel.
Don't leave your pants behind when returning your tux. Apparently the store thinks they're important.

Honeymoon
The Cleveland Leg

Trying to drink the beer keg left-overs (still on ice) the next day with my friends was a bad idea.
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is pretty cool. The best two things came on wheels (Elvis's Lincoln and Johnny Cash's bus). You can cover it all in like 2 hours
Tigers routed Cleveland at "The Jake" (corp. names be damned) 18-2 while we were there in Tiger gear. "Ketchup" the hotdog mascot refused us service for ice cream helmets.
The hotel room in Cleveland may have been the nicest I've ever stayed in.

The Boston Leg

Boston is a long ride on a train from Cleveland, but I sleep really easy on a train.
I also can read a lot when I don't have to drive.
When travelling that close to 9/11, expect delays.
If you get into Boston late, it's hard to find food because everything seemingly shuts down at 11pm.
Boston looks more daunting on the map than it is. The main city is actually quite small.
The public transportation there is the best I've had to deal with.
However it's easy to get lost with most things not running east and west (even the trains run diagonally).
If you love history, this is definitely a place to visit. You can't walk without tripping over some.
Boston is probably one of the cleanest cities I've seen.
I think I started every day there with a bagel
Fenway is nice, but way overrated. Still cool to go to a game where Wakefield gets his 200th win, and Boston routs Toronto. It was a pretty good atmosphere
Yankee fans go to Fenway just to root against Boston? Is this normal?
The Museum of Fine Arts near Northeastern's campus is pretty amazing.
Science museums are never very good no matter what city you're in, even if you love science.
A fancy hotel in an expensive city isn't much bigger or better than a normal one. Just more decorations and bellhops.
Boston has some of the toughest running terrain I've seen: intersections every 40 feet, too much cobblestone, uneven and narrow sidewalks, and plenty of things with legs and wheels to run you over.
Did nearly everything we wanted, including a trip up to Salem.
Didn't get seafood, but honestly how much better can it be there?
Honeymoon = Great Success

Homecoming

Why is the trip back always seemingly longer?
Driving immediately back from Cleveland right after the long ride at 5am was no picnic
Thought I may go to work Thursday and not use vacation, but we slept the whole day away instead
Had Friday off too, but went in for a half day
Skipped Oktoberfest in Frankenmuth on Friday to go to last minute Electric Six show in Lansing.
That was such a blast, we decided to go see them again at DIY fest the next day.
We grabbed Nick, the Warren Wizard, and he introduced us to the Bronx Bar in Midtown.
Good to be back in Detroit, but Ken arrived and off to Ferndale we went.
Parking was crazy. The beer tents were so incredibly small and undermanned it was impossible to get a beer. So I only managed to get 3 for the 2 hours we were there
Ken made one of the organizers mad by asking where the big beer tent was while under it. When told that he was there by an obviously annoyed woman, he still followed with "THIS is the BIG tent?!?!?"
They were charging if you wanted an extra cup when you bought tickets, but the red-headed girl working the tent gave me one for Jessi free. I still think there's some sort of secret ginger code.
Electric Six was awesome again, but that was the most low-key I've ever seen a Detroit area crowd be for them.
We stayed down at Nick's, watched some "Wilfred," and slept on the futon
I was incredibly sick in the morning for only having 4 beers (counting the one at the Bronx Bar). Probably was my body still rejecting beer after trying to knock off that keg.
I overslept the race and now the 5K wasn't even an option.
It was 10K run or the walk. My wife didn't want to walk or didn't want to let me off the hook from running (not sure which), so it was the run.
I felt as bad as Belle Isle, and wasn't totally sure I wouldn't hurl until about mile 4. Then I cut loose because I held back so much early just trying to survive.
I still got my 2nd best 10K time ever. I have no idea how.
The Detroit Zoo is pretty awesome. Spent about 4 hours there after the race. Glad we did it.

Post Crim Collapse Part 2

The Royal Rooters Run that I wanted to do to tour Boston's baseball heritage was cancelled. They do it every Saturday when the Red Sox are away, except the Saturday I just happened to be in town.
Because of that, I gave up on running there in general, and only went out for one run just over 5 miles.
My out-of-state running goal, to do one race out of Michigan, is in Jeopardy.
I didn't gain but 2lbs on my honeymoon, and I expected more.
So since I've been home I tempted fate and ate like crap for a week.
Recently my food pyramid's base would probably be Pizza Rolls.
I'm now up 10lbs.
I completely forgot I had another Half Marathon coming up until I ran with Jason last week.
I haven't run 13.2 miles TOTAL in any week since the Crim, let alone all at once.
My September mile total is less than 1/3 and barely more than 1/4 of the June/July/August totals.

The basic gist of where this is going is...I'm in trouble. The Brooksie Way Half-Marathon, from what I hear, is really difficult as far as the road halfs around here go. It also looks like it's the back half that's the hilly part. I'm concerned about making it at all if I have a bad day, let alone beating the DxA2 time that I pre-set as the goal time to hit for this one. Let's not forget that this weekend is swamped. I have a Wings/Leafs game to go to in Detroit on Friday, a wedding on Saturday, and after the Brooksie is my friend Joe's going away party. I will have to pace myself for all of it.

Anyway, while I'm at it. Anyone have any good less than a week training programs for the half-marathon? Please?

Crim III

2011-08-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

If you can say one thing about me, I'm a "gamer." In (what I consider) big races, where I really want to tear the course up, I show up. Maybe I failed in practice last week, and neither of my 10 mile practice runs went particularly well or as planned. Maybe I didn't do everything I had in mind to get ready for this race leading up to it. Maybe I didn't even do particularly right by myself the night before either, but let me just say, "who really cares?"

I'd like to be perfect all the time, and there's no doubt in my mind I'm doing better, but things like "good night's sleep" and "complete race preparation" are just not in my repetoire. However, there's also little doubt about the fact that the mere existence of the Crim has changed my life. I may run half marathons, and I may run fulls in the future. I don't know how far I'm willing to take this, because I haven't gotten to a point where I feel I can't do more, or even that I don't want to. I also have no idea what life will throw at me in the future. What I do know, is that no matter what other races I do, the Crim is my anchor baby of racing. It's the reason for all of this running mess and keeps me a part of runner nation, and I'd like to think that, no matter what, even if I move, I'll find a way to do this one every year.

Going into this year, I had a game plan in my head, and not only for the race itself. I had one for each individual mile, and, oh baby, did I execute. I hit my mile marks pretty much to the exact mark for the first 3 miles; mile 1 being to the exact second of my desired 9:45 minute mark. All this while talking to someone I haven't seen since High School for miles 2 and 3. Mile 4 and 5 I was way under anticipated time, and the Boo-Radleys were over before I knew it. Mile 6, as expected, was a little rubbery and the slight uphill on Miller Rd isn't exactly the best recovery after the hills, but I allotted for a pretty slow mile there. That didn't happen. I think I ran a cool 9:15.

I started to over-think a bit, though, and I skipped a water stop along 6, thinking I was good and didn't want to lose time. That led to a bit of slowing on 7 when that sun hit, and a little bit of worry that I was going to fade out completely. Then, I got a water intervention. A man with a short white beard, a blue button down shirt, and a big tan-colored hat to block the sun was giving out ice cold bottled waters in the middle of 7, and I took one with me. Whoever you are, thank you for supporting me and all the runners. You may have saved my Crim for me.

I carried that bottle and it carried me through the next quarter mile of struggle. After fighting that off, I felt wonderful. I decided to break for the end as hard as I could go, passing the guy I was talking to earlier, who had just now come back into sight (and must have pulled ahead at some point when I lost him). I kept choosing targets ahead of me and eating them up. Eventually I latched onto the man who came in 2nd for the 10 mile walk up ahead and tried to beat him. I finished just behind him by 1 second on the clock. I don't even understand how walking that fast is humanly possible. Leon Jasionowski, I gotta hand it to you, you're pretty awesome.

My clock time was a 1:36:01, so the goal of breaking into the 1:30s was hit, and my loftier goal of hitting 1:36 was as well. I knew that much at the finish line, which was easier on the mind than waiting for my chip time and biting my nails about whether I hit it or not. That was pretty much my plan at the end anyway, when I hit mile 8 at 1:17ish (clock) and earlier the best we'd done was 1:20. Besides, I've learned my lesson dealing with clocks, as I swear when I started the Legend it was at 17 minutes in, and I also swear we crossed the start of the Crim at about 3 minutes. I never trusted digital clocks anyway, especially at 1:38 when they look like the pringles man. Perhaps I went 2 minutes faster just because of a subconcious drive not to see him on the clock when I finished.

Admit it, you see it too.
The eyebrows, the mustache, and the bowtie, it's all there.

I popped into Churchill's, who gave us a free beer (Michelob too, not the real cheap stuff), and Jason picked up his debit card that was left there from Thursday night (ha!). That was chased by our free slice of pizza and a free MGD from the beer line, both of which you can get from your bib tabs. Honestly, if you hang around where the runners are leaving, they'll hand you them asking if you want them. You could probably get an entire pizza and a gallon of beer if you were even the slightest bit pesky about asking for them, and are a master of disguise. The line usually gets too long for that business, though, especially when the 8k and 5k people start filing in.

Officially, I ran a 1:34:03, which is pretty much right in the middle for my gender and a little south of center for my age group. I don't think there's much I could have done to be any better than that. That's a 10 mile record for me (not that it's a common distance), beating the 1:38:28 at Solstice Run, and taking over 16 minutes off the 1:50:25 of last year's Crim.

No good race pictures yet. My friend Ken didn't come down, my family mistook some guy in a white shirt and a hat for me, and my lady slept through her alarm, so no pre-race, during (action), or post-race photos from them. So, unless the official guys came through enough for me to actually pay for one, all you get is Jason and I in the living room. As an added bonus if you read this now, I'll throw in a shot of the medal, which has some nice detail on it. You probably can't see, but it even says "Flint" and "Vehicle City" on the arches, just like downtown.

Living Room After Shot

Medal

Up Close

What the small print on the arch of the medal, that you can't read, because I don't have a nice macro lens like my soon-to-be-wife, is supposed to mimic. Yes, I realize that was an awful "run-on" and way too long to be a picture caption.

Reflective Friday (Pre-Crim Edition)

2011-08-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on attempting to go to your old college bar with your groomsmen and fiance:

8:30pm-Oh yeah! Gonna totally tear this bar up tonight and get totally slammed, party till 2am and then hit a Tom Z's Coney Island late.

8:45pm-Where is everybody? It should be packed by now. Why are they still serving food?

9:00pm-Where's the PBR tap? Why is the pitcher beer special Natural Light?

9:03pm-When did the $1 pitchers become $2?

9:05pm- 75 cent rum and cokes are $1?

9:06pm-Can't we be grandfathered in on the original price? Does saying "granfathered" sound old?

10:00pm-Look there's some young people, maybe it is still "cool" here

10:30pm-Wait, I'm seeing flannel, pastels, off the shoulder shirts, spandex, bad hair of all generations. Which decade do these young people think they're in?

10:45pm-It's getting crowded in here...also very whorish (did they dress like that even 7 years ago?). Hey, look at her, maybe Amy Winehouse is alive and just hiding in Flint

10:50pm-Better get one last trip to the bar for cheap pitchers

11:00pm-Probably shouldn't have gotten 6 of them

11:30pm-Any more Natty Light and I probably won't make it to work. Why are all my friends looking at their watches? We're going home soon aren't we?

11:35pm-Jessi looks tired of this. I think I'm done too. Time to go.

11:37pm-I don't think I feel like greasy food. Let's just walk home

11:56pm-Home before midnight. Lame.

Thoughts on getting the last details of wedding stuff taken care of:

-Where'd all our money go?

-Hopefully our caterer doesn't forget about us again between now and next week, and this guy (the 5th one we've dealt with) doesn't get fired, quit, or whatever happened to the other 4 guys.

-Can we trust him, being he worked for the White Sox and Pacers at some point?

-Who's setting up all these chairs? I don't think I will be available day of.

-THAT, my friends, is a lot of hooch . I think that's enough to get everyone giggly

-What else is left?

-Honestly, who is sick enough in the head just to do this for the sake of the event aspect of it? Wedding planners must be the most mentally ill people on this Earth.

Thoughts on The Crim (tomorrow):

-I think I did plenty of carbo-loading, maybe too much. That was a disgusting amount of never-ending pasta.

-It's awesome that you can track people this year

-I wonder how much of my family will show. They'll probably miss seeing me even if they do.

-Is my superwoman cousin going to run it tomorrow too? How bad is she going to destroy me?

Final Thought:

What is the big obsession with the Bradley Hills at the Crim? Are they hilly? Yes, they're hills, but they really aren't that bad. I mean look at the big one (see below). It's pathetic. I've seen much worse elsewhere. Wait a second, everyone is afraid of them and talks about them like they are scary, even menacing, but in the end they're not bad at all and are actually pretty harmless. Hmmm...I think maybe we should call them the "Boo-Radley Hills." Yeah, that's their new name.

Double Time III, or close enough (introducing the "within 24 hours" rule)

2011-08-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

I swear, the better I get at this, the worse I do in the standings.

Let's demonstrate using the Panda Run. I started out pretty slow (10:15 the first mile, 10:45 the next) and I'm not sure I was prepared for what I was getting myself into, really. A night trail run with headlamps sounded really awesome in theory, and in some ways it was, but it definitely had drawbacks. The first being that I had to wear the head lamp, and the ones they have weren't very comfy if you have a head size that wears a 7 1/2 fitted cap or above. It kept popping off the top of my hat and was too tight anyway. Eventually I put it directly on my head and put my hat over it backwards with it sticking out of the hat.

Yes (not actual race photo, demo only)

You really can't see much of your competition. It's hard to tell if the person in front of you is getting closer or further away if they were more than 10 yards ahead. The headlamps barely showed up if you were coming behind a single person, especially if they were using the lower green light instead of the bright white. Even right on top of them you couldn't tell if they were big, small, short, tall, and sometimes you couldn't even tell if it was a man or woman until you were 5 feet away. They could have been aliens for all I knew, and just the lighting and creepy figures coming up on you reminded me of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"

There was a group of 3 that were unmistakably young teen girls. You're not going to hear that much noise and see cartwheels (yes, they actually were doing cartwheels at mile markers) from too many other groups. As I passed them around mile 3 they asked if I thought they were being annoying, and all I said was "All I can say is you sure have a lot of energy for running 13 miles." I made a little bit of rush after passing them to get to a range where they were a lot less audible.

By mile 4 or 5, I was already seeing lights coming back at me. These guys running halfers at an hour and change are amazing, and are usually breathing easier that I am. They all just looked like headlights, though, and I couldn't see a single person. This situation was really working against my people-watching ways. Maybe that slows me down, because I picked up a lot of time before hitting the half point.

I spent a good chunk of miles 4-6 in the dark. It would have been really dull just to run in the dark with nothing to see save a little oval of illuminated path ahead of me, if there weren't a lot of weird animal noises going on. We set off someone's guard dogs to high alert, as well as the house owners who turned all their exterior lights on to look out and wonder why there were all these people with lights snooping around behind their place. There was a lot of rustling and calling noises as I passed places on the trail and I never got a good look at what but my guesses were deer, raccoon, possum (saw the tail, but could have been a musk rat too), wtf was that?, barred owls (which sound to me like a baby cooing and throwing up), deer. Mile 5 had a distinct skunk smell to it and I was hoping and praying that I wouldn't get a spraying. Maybe it would have been a better story though. Do you still finish or what? What's the rule on runner toughness in the face (or butt) of a skunk attack?

Luckily I didn't have to find out. After the half point, I just wanted to get to the next mile faster and hold pace. I caught quite a few people, some of which looked to be in really good shape, and I refused to relinquish position. One woman chased me so close I could feel her behind me for 2 1/2 miles before I got far enough away that I couldn't hear her breathing anymore. She did not want to surrender to the fat man. I only lost her because I was still ramping up my speed. After 6, every single mile was a little faster than the one before (at least until 12), and my return trip on the down and back course was ridiculously quicker than the trip out. I even threw in a sub 9:00 mile in there on 11.

I pulled in just under 2:10 (according to my cheap watch that lights up in the dark), and took off my hat and headlamp. I got my medal, and gave them my bib tab. I didn't feel like food at all, so I skipped my plan of going to Pizza Sam, and went straight home. It was 11:30, I had a 1 1/2 hour drive back, and I actually wanted to see Jessi before she fell asleep because I had to leave for the race basically the instant she got home from the tubing trip (where the tubing part got rained out, anyway).

I didn't get the results until 4 days later, but look at this...

Last in my age group. Set a PR for your half-marathon; get dead last. You also get your last name misspelled, but you can't see that because it has been edited. I don't know why, it would be pretty easy to figure it out.

As if that wasn't enough for last weekend, I woke up 4 hours after getting home (let alone to bed) to get up and run the Blueberry Race for the second year in a row. I don't even know why I bothered. It's not like I was already registered. That was just me being stubborn, especially considering I did the 8K and not the 5K. My legs were struggling just to move at all, but I kept telling myself it would be a good way to shake out that halfer. I'm not sure I even accomplished that.

There were no "good" miles in there. I just kind of clipped along, reminding myself periodically to lift my head up. I wasn't sure if I was more physically tired than I was mentally tired...or even if I was just tired. I probably could have laid down and taken a nap. My inner whiner was coming out big time, which just means I probably gave myself some sort of situational endurance training of some sort. Whatever, I was sick of it, and I wanted it over. So I just kept going.

Here's what I got for that. Last again. Where have all the slow runners gone? Funny how there were still people in my age group behind me last year, but this past weekend, I get two lasts. Last year, with rested legs, I was still 6 minutes slower, too! Where are you slow early 30's men? Show yourselves, uhhh, please...

After the Blueberry I had a great veggie omelette at Naples Pizzeria, and drank about 4 cups of coffee and about 6 waters, which guilted me into tipping really huge. I ran that poor lady ragged for getting just an omelette and coffee. Then I changed clothes and went to church there, but got a familiar priest anyway, who is covering there for now, as well as running his home parish. He looked more tired than I felt.

Anyway, that sums up the weekend. Jason and I did another Crim run under goal pace until I lost my will at 7 1/2 (he was really pulling me along...so, yeah, back to normal). We didn't make any water stops because we both forgot our money, and I can't make 10 miles without water. So I had to stop and walk (which, for the record, is failure) for a mile and a half. I was dripping wet, and I was getting a little dizzy. It was probably dumb enough that I insisted on going back to a run at mile 9. Even with the slow 1 1/2 mile walk in there, sadly, we skill almost beat my time from last year.

So this weekend can really be summed up with two phrases:

"Man I used to stink at running"
"I just got last in my group...twice, I still stink at running"

Oh well, whatever, I still improved on my half time, even if there was no sun to deal with. I'm counting it.

I think I'm shutting down the running program until the Crim on Saturday. My legs are tired, I need a break after a 35 mile week, if only to let the blisters and cuts heal. Hopefully the work (despite some of my wussing out) pays off. I think I have the right strategy in place, and what pace to expect and shoot for between each mile marker. We'll see if I have "it" on Saturday, and we'll hope "it" isn't the pulling right calf muscle that seems to attack me every time I get near the Crim course (it's like it knows).

Reflective Friday (Unsupervised Edition)

2011-08-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

So the kibosh was put on me joining the tubing weekend with the girls. It was opened to possibility, but the other boyfriends didn't want to go and/or were against tubing. I suppose I am too, honestly, but I could have dealt with sitting on a tube in a river drinking beer.

So what selfish fun things have I done today while the lady is out?

Um, I mowed the lawn, cleaned up some of the house, and did a little laundry. So far I'm not exactly living the bachelor paradise, which of course is being "stripped to the waist and eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery" as you all know. Yes, that's what we do when you're not around.

Thoughts:

"Since Jason and I both had bleeding incidents (his from an overzealous snot rocket and mine from return of drip nips) does that make us running blood brothers?"

"If he hadn't started leaking, he was going to tear me a new one on that run yesterday."

"How late is Jets Pizza open?" (I can't have it if Jessi's here, the digestive results are very...WW1-ish?)

"Should I run Stampede or Panda half-marathons tomorrow?"

"Should I just go to 5/3rd myself and see baseball and monkeys riding dogs and herding sheep?"

"I wonder if I could actually eat one of thos 5/3rd burgers."

"Those two Half-Marathons are like 12 hours apart. If nobody wants to do anything tomorrow, maybe I could do both..."

"...Maybe not"

"I'll probably sleep in and do the late one. I don't know, maybe neither."

"Either way, I think it's time for bed."

Blue Line Club

2011-08-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

Got in another Crim route run yesterday. The idea was to start pushing for time. I want my 1:30s Crim, and 1:36 or lower to be more exact. So it's time to push these legs whether they want it or not. So Jason came by, we walked down to Saginaw and headed out to follow the blue line. The Crim training group people were out in full force. I have no idea what they were doing. Apparently just training to walk slowly up hills or something. The only people I saw running were all of us rogue runners that were also out on the route on their very special training day and actually running the route the way that you're supposed to (not to go Seinfeld on everyone, but what's the deal with running it backwards?).

They didn't get in our way much. The walkers bug me a lot less that the run-walkers these days anyway. I know it's a strategy, and some Jeff Galloway dude advocates it (so the Crim site says) and what not, but I really hate it. I really hate that it's official Crim Training policy to do it, and they're breeding more people to run and stop dead to walk immediately in front of me. Sure, you can get better times doing it. I'm sure I could too. That's not the point. Walking is failure. That is my official position. Mr. Galloway, I looked you up. You're officially a legend. Why are you at the center of this hive of evil?

Look, I'm not going to be a snobby jerk about peoples' times. I'm not even going to fault you for having to walk during a run because you're in recovery from injury, you have heart conditions, you're older, or you're just trying to get back into shape and you're exhausted (or whatever). I get it, you have to stop for your own good. When it become your actual race strategy, I have a problem. I don't like it. I hate you. You're cheaters, and your times are fraudulent. I want to start a race where there are men and women on the course dressed as Tusken Raiders directed to paintball the crap out of anyone seen walking. Anyone with paint on them at the finish is DQ'd (and not the good kind where you get a Blizzard). I may do just that, just so I can do a run without one of them leap-frogging me for miles.

Anyway, back to our Crim run. We made a good first mile pace, despite stopping for traffic a few times, and I was ready to take off. It wasn't meant to be though. My friend had a tight thigh and a couple other issues, and instead of going faster we held steady. After being stopped at a light for a while, we slowed down, and eventually (for a change) it was me dragging him along and being the good running friend for once. We had to take a detour to stop chasing a dog away from its owner down the sidewalk and pissing them off, and another one for a loose dog. Leashes are really hard to find and use, I guess. Then after the Bradleys we did a water stop, and then headed on for the rest of the route.

We did make it all running, but it was slow. I knew it was slow when I was actually anxious to hit a dead sprint with over a mile to go thinking "I can sprint the rest of it." Jason cut me loose at Saginaw and I busted down the street through the early week Back to the Bricks (an over-sized car show that takes us over for a week and is pretty awesome) crowd watching classic cars going by.

I realized I was bleeding through my new white Warrior Dash shirt (nipple skin failure). Then I had to chuckle a bit. I am a really big guy, bleeding from the chest, and running down the street of one of the higher crime cities around. Hopefully I didn't scare anybody away. I doubt it. That would take much more blood, and I didn't even have enough going to breastfeed a baby vampire.

The final time (with all the stopping for lights included) put us at 11 minute miles. Oh well, it's a throw-away. Jason can and will do better, and he's the one that ran at the pace I want last year. There's no way he got worse running 3 times a week instead of 2. He had a bad day, and next time he'll push me. If not, I'll drag him with, I'll add running days, or whatever it takes. I need to get this show on the road. I'm tired of slacking off.

With that out of the way, on a personal note we're about 2 weeks from the wedding now. One thing we've learned is that we both suck at bachelor/bachelorette events. None of my people can actually get together for anything because of work schedules, previous plans, or whatever. Her big tubing thing this weekend is down to something like her, her maid of honor, the MOH's sister, and some other girl she barely knows. I can't even get guys together with promises of baseball and monkeys riding dogs herding sheep, so we just fail, I guess. She is currently lobbying the other girls to allow men, and I'm thinking we can go do that and come home and she can go to baseball and weird animal combinations instead.

Last night after the run, I realized I should probably finally get food (because I can't survive on a nature valley bar and a small bag of veggie straws). I figured I'd wait for her to get home in case she was hungry, and it was a good call. She was stressed, and hungry. So we went to the Bee's and got her a beer and got us both some food. I broke my no weekly beer rule and got a Summer Shandy to join her in a gesture of stress relieving solidarity, I suppose.

I am extremely fortunate to have a woman whose problems can be solved by simple things like seeing me and/or having a beer (and the like). It's a mutual thing, too. The second I see her after a bad day, half the stress is gone immediately. We talked about that, and how we should just forget the bachelor/bachelorette stuff, forget everyone else, and go do something together. Honestly, she's the most fun person I know anyway. I guess that's just another reason I know that I'm marrying the right person.

Pizza and The Legend

2011-08-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

In a valiant attempt at actually trying to PR again in this wicked heat and get off this plateau in the 26-27 minute range, I took off like a shot for the Great Pizza Challenge (Aug. 4th). The time to beat was my 25:50 from Clio's Dalmatian. I found neon guy again, and pretended that I was roped to his back and he was dragging me along. I kept hearing all the cool pacer people shouting out that I was at a 24 minute pace. I was raging fast.

Then I hit the 2 mile mark. "Control to legs, what are you doing down there?" "I'm givin' her all she's got captain," said my legs in their best Scotty voice, but it was no use. The I started hearing the calls "24 1/2," "25"....I just burned out, and the last 3 blocks I could have sat right down on the curb. I was sucking in all the oxygen I could and the legs were on fire, and neon guy was way out in front and finished by now.

On a positive note I knew I had given all I had for this one for once, and I didn't walk away empty handed. Neon guy must have decided to run in his age group and not in the heavies, so I snagged a #1. No PR, but I did the best I have in a while with a 26:08. Nice having an award for a pizza challenge that isn't food related. Besides, I can't take more than 2 pieces of the stuff they gave us after the race. The crust was hard enough that my jaw got a work out too!

Ran my first trail Half-Marathon (Aug. 6), and I have to admit it kind of beat the crap out of me. I didn't pace myself early, and went way too fast. Luckily most of the people I went by early didn't come back and get me, especially the two that said "we'll see you again later." Had some nice conversation with another racer miles 7-11 until I finally told her I was "losing it" and to head on past. She said "ok, I'll lead for a while" like I was going to continue to keep up. It was nice of her to try to give me the mental boost, but it just didn't pan out.

I guess I just didn't know what I was getting myself into. There's a reason they only had a 5 and 10 mile until this year! I think before my next trail half, I want to be trained for a solid 17 miles on the road. This trail run was billed as relatively flat, but when I was kicking myself in the chest with my knees going up on hills that were nearly impossible to actually run (I still tried, I'm stubborn) and hills I could shoe ski down, I didn't really believe it. I guess this just tells me expect more of the same or worse on trails.

On top of that, the majority of it was single track, so there's only room for one. You had to really know for sure if you wanted to pass or not, and it took a lot of effort to push through the weeds to do so. I generally moved off to the side and let people pass me on the track, but a lot of others weren't so accommodating. There were a lot of chances to take a spill, and a lot of roots sticking up. I saw four people take a nose dive myself. I was nearly one of them (twice). Also I really underestimate how much bounce I got from pavement and how much each blade of grass would work against me. All these things and the humidity (soaked w/i 2 miles) made for a tough morning, and for a pretty crappy time (2:29:57) from me.

I would have felt worse about the time had I not felt like I toughed out a lot of really rough terrain and given it about all I had. You just come to some races that bend you until you break, and The Legend (I swear there was more elevation changes than this seems to indicate) was definitely that. Even my muscles agreed with me as I tried to take them for a dip in the lake and the tightened and pulled on me to the point I had to use my hands to pull me back on shore for some extended stretching. Then it took a good long while before I felt I could get to my feet. Just more proof that I'm still made up of primarily marshmallow fluff. Just get me a sailor suit and a hat that says "Stay Puft."

Dirty Trail Shoes and a SOAKED Flash Shirt

I am so DONE!

After that beat-down, I took the early part of the week off to recover. I was pretty sure if I ran Tuesday there'd be just as much exploding calf action as "Cowboys and Aliens" so I gave myself the day off.

I wish I had this cup

Sure I did a little make-up and got in 7 1/2 miles Thursday and 9 1/2 Sunday, but I'm still kind of sulking. I know I can get up another level and I'm not pushing myself right now. I'm going to have to make a pretty heavy push here just to get my Crim time where I want. Meanwhile, my cousin just finished her first 70.3, and is making me feel like a lazy blob in comparison, because that's pretty awesome. Not a lot of people get to that kind of level of fitness. Me getting there is just unfathomable right now, but never say never (just not soon).


Legend Medal (1st year of The Legend Half)

...or more like the dare took me

Mitten State Warriors

2011-08-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

First off, I have to stress just how awesome it was to have an event like this near Flint. I know Red Frog Events made buckets of money on the event, but they still put together a great race. Considering the fact that Mid-Michigan brought it and made this the 2nd largest Warrior Dash ever, they handled all the parking and the mass of humanity quite well. Racers did not want for water, places to get shade and rest, or places to get beer/food/etc. It was a really nice set up.

Leading up to the race, I found out not only was our friend Ray coming in from Maine for the race, but he was in the same exact heat as us. Also our friends Pat and Mike showed up in our heat as well, so we had a nice group going. Jason and I rounded out the group, and were the only two of us that did costumes, with him as Richard Simmons and me as Razor Ramon HG (of Japanese wrestling and Bakuten variety show fame).

Pre-Race Photo

We hung out for about an hour strolling around in costume until it was finally time to line up for our heat. We hung out toward the back and waited for our turn. Ray was already wearing his "I Survived the Warrior Dash" shirt and was asked by a race official if he already ran, because apparently a few people got caught making multiple runs. He was a little too mud free to be a repeat, though. Anyway, the fire went off and we were on our way.


Fireball Start Signal

The first obstacle, about a mile in, was climbing over cars and running through tires. I was out for a good time, so I went right for the angles that allowed me to climb on the roofs of cars as much as possible. I was really excited to be underway, but then we hit the logs in water obstacle, and the masses ahead of us just slowed to a crawl. Jason and I went around them as much as possible, but it was slow going for absolutely no reason at all.

After doing that, and going up a hill, there was a nice over a wall and under barbed wire obstacle with about 4 jumps and 4 ducks. Again, people ahead of us going so slow, but I wasn't out to set any records and just wanted to finish unscathed and have a good time, so it didn't bother me that much. Plus, the waiting was nowhere near as bad as R3. I just was hoping to kind of keep the race going at a steady pace, and stay mentally "in it."

Well I got what I wanted with the next obstacle. The "Warrior Wall" showed up in my view, and I didn't know about it at all. If I had, I probably would have freaked. When I saw it, I thought, "There's no way my fat ass is getting up that." Sure there were boards to help you up, but you could barely get a toe hold on them given they were only about 2" wide , so it was mostly just pulling yourself up on the rope and scaling the wall Bo Jackson style.

Oh well, I decided "F**k it, I'm gonna try." I took a big jump and a push off the wall with my foot, grabbed the rope, and started kicking and climbing. Next thing I knew I was up and at the top. I pulled myself up, and climbed down the boards on the back. I couldn't believe it. I waited for Jason to get down, gave him, a fist bump, and thought "It's on. Whatever they throw at me now, I'm going to conquer it."

We crawled across some giant net hammocks and did some cheap balancing obstacle where I thought the boards were going to break under me. Then came "Blackout" where you had to crawl on your hands and knees through a short tent made of black tarp with hay on the ground. Our group was at 2:30, the hottest part of the day, and it was 90°, but it had to be 120° in there (maybe more). I haven't felt hot outside or anywhere else since then, and when I came out the other side the 90° felt like air conditioning.

There was a bungee cord obstacle that was a lot like R3 where you had to go over or under them, and we did a lot of waiting for people and holding them open for them to get through. After that we went down into a huge uneven mud bog. The mud smelled mildly like manure, and varied from being about waist deep to about chest deep on me at points. Here's where the race just came to a grinding halt. Everyone was so tentative about going in and when they were already in they seemed to just freeze and not go anywhere. I fell into a trap of letting a girl use my shoulder to brace herself above it on a branch and half a tree that was sticking up. I got stuck standing there waiting for her to calculate a route that didn't involve going into the mud. She was shaking like a leaf and starting to dig into my shoulder like a hawk's claws into its prey.

She asked if it was okay, of course, but I was getting a little tired of it after it went on for more than two minutes, not to mention the people ahead were still at a crawl. For the love of god, just GO! I thought about just going around it and being a jerk and letting her just fall in when I moved. It's not like I need to be nice to women other than my fiance anyway, right? I couldn't do it though. Blame the gentleman in me, or just my upbringing, but I got her through without a lot of mud, and helped a lot of others through that mud bog, and then up the slick hills. I could have pushed around and let them fend for themselves, but why be that way? Besides it made the mud more fun.

Of course right after it we had to climb another pegged wall, and climb down a rope where the knots were not in any good places for me to have a decent climb down, so I did it all in one motion with a little rope burn. Then I watched Ray bolt past us and go up the cargo climb like freaking Spiderman. I wasn't that good on it, but after the two wall climbs, the cargo net that I had feared this whole time was the least of three climbing evils. It also helped that I heard Jessi yelling out at me.


Jason and me on the net (top left)

Now came the fire jump, but I had something special planned. I pulled off to the side, reached into my pleather costume (which was way too hot to do this race in by the way), and pulled out a small sandwich bag with an extendable roasting stick and a pair of marshmallows. Yes, I planned ahead. The bag kept everything clean of mud and I was able to get them on the stick and ready to go. I stopped at the fire jump, knelt down, roasted my marshmallow and then jumped the fires and ate it. The reaction from the crowd on that one was AWESOME, especially hearing some guy yell "Holy s***, he has a marshmallow"

Prepping the 'mallows

Roasting


Done roasting ('mallow still on the stick). It's jump time

From there it was just a nice cool jump into a mud pit, going under some barbed wire...

Last Mud Pit


Last Crawl

...and a last run to the finish.

Last Stretch


Finish!

We lost Ray for a bit after the race, but took an after photo with Pat and Mike after they finished.

After Shot (glasses broken, but faking like they're not)

My costume was completely destroyed, but it had a good run (Halloween 2009 and a Warrior Dash)

Studs gone off my bill, glasses broken, rips, and dirt and smells that will never come out. Costume over!


Face Mud

Costume Carnage

Shoe Pile (my old New Balances are in there)

Shirt, Medal, Fuzzy Warrior Hat?

Medal

So there you have it, my Warrior Dash experience. It was fun, and I'd do it again. Next time I'd start further up in the field to not be held up so much, and probably would go with a more breathable fabric, but other than that I'd do much of the same. I'd still be nice out there throughout the obstacles when people need a hand, and Jason and I would still wait for each other at obstacles to make for better pictures. Speaking of, I have to mention that my lovely fiance braved the heat and sun, which are much worse on her than me, to get the majority of the photos seen here (thanks baby!).

My Lady and I

The Underlying Success Story of All This Is...

2011-07-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

...despite the fact that I can have a 4000+ Calorie Unravelling in one sitting, and I turn into a complete slacker from time to time, I have made a lot of progress.

Tale of the Scale
After a quick weigh in Tuesday, I've pretty much kept my goal of knocking off about 5lbs a month this year. I'm going to have to have a pretty nice push this week to get July's quota, but I'm good through June for 30lbs this year. So we've got the grand total since the start of this nonsense to 51.50 (did I just add the zero solely for a Van Hagar reference?) lbs total.

Tick Tock on the Clock
So I've kind of plateaued in the 26 1/2 -27 1/2 range on the 5Ks in the summer heat, but let's review things a little closer. We have a 35:28 Crim 5K in 2009 and a 25:50 Clio 5K in 2011. Enough said. My 10Ks have been wretched lately, but my longer runs are getting shorter in time too (add another .7 onto the Volkslaufe 20K at my pace and it probably would have been another faster Half time). Also, when bringing up the former couch potato me that could barely imagine suffering through the Crim 10 mile, let alone ever wanting to push on past that distance, there's a lot of success there. You can't argue that when I had to stop and walk anything over 1.5 miles, and now I'm crossing at Half-marathon distances and running back to back 5 and 10 K's thinking how much of a cakewalk it is.

Lifestyle
I haven't completely given up things that are bad for me, that's for sure. I still fall of every once in a while, and sometimes pretty hard, but I've been getting back to the plan after. That's the biggest thing, I guess. I've learned that falling down doesn't have to mean jumping down into the gorge (no pun intended) and completely abandoning everything just because I screw up one or two days. The no drinking except weekends rule is still in effect just because it seems to work for me. Friday nights are usually stay home nights these days because I usually have a race Saturday morning, much to the dismay of....well, pretty much everyone I know.

Other than that, I'm still doing a lot better at eating healthy that it may seem from what I've relayed here. I just don't think having a nice salad or something like that makes a good blog story compared to double-dipping Taco Bell and the Golden Arches in an hour. I think it might be a good idea to start stressing time again on the runs, because the ease of running lately has made me try other forms of sabotage to make it seem like a challenge.

Also, I will say that no matter how healthy I get, if I see the rare Hardees, I will probably stop. Even if I've eaten, I'm getting something and freezing it, because I love them. That star just smiles at me and I can't resist him. Besides, there are only 3 that I know of and each is nearly an hour away. Perhaps if I use my google mapping powers to make a map of Hardees locations, I can make them come back, much like I did with my Mello Yello Locations Map before it returned to this area. Yes, apparently I do have massive marketing power around here, just like Duchovny in that "The Joneses" movie, but, you know, unpaid and nothing bad happens to the neighbors. Admit it, you already want Hardees, a Mello Yello, and to watch that movie.

Hardees Excitement!

What's left?
According to the beginning of the year goals that I set for myself, I'm on track. I still need to do a race out of Michigan, and I think I have it lined up already. I will be doing The Warrior Dash this weekend, and I will probably do The Legend the week after to get my Martian, Warrior, Legend tri-fecta (when I only said for sure I'd do one of the three). So I think I have it covered.

As far as races coming up, I will be winging a lot of it because the registration deadlines for "early registration" for most of the ones I see are far away or up through the week of the races themselves (which is nice). As usual, in red is potential and black is confirmed:

The Warrior Dash 7/30, Goal: Don't get injured
The Legend 8/6
Montrose Blueberry 8/21 or Panda Bear Night Run 8/20 (or both, not like I couldn't hack it)
The Crim 10 mile 8/27,Goal: 1:36 (maybe 5K too, if anyone I know bites on my offer to run with them)
"Surprise Out-of-State Race"
Save the Wildlife Trail Run 9/24
Brooksie Way Half-Marathon 10/2, Goal: Beat DxA2 time (2:16:15)
Big House Big Heart 10/9
UM/MSU Tailgate Challenge 10/15
Detroit Turkey Trot 11/24
Flint YMCA Santa Run 12/3

I'm already looking forward to the Santa Run again, and it's only July. There's just something about hundreds of running Santas through the streets of Flint in an untimed race that just seems so delightful.

Double Time, Again!

2011-07-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Things for the "Atwood Duo-Medal-y" did not exactly start out too well. I was given the wrong shirt, which I should have snapped a photo of. I knew the first 200 people doing the double got a special shirt and medal, but I guess I thought maybe I didn't slide in under the 200. However, a little digging and I found out that they didn't even have 200 in it yet, and I sent mine over a month ago. So I got up early this morning and got that all worked out.

I had plenty of time to think about the fact I was going to run a 5K that would end 30 minutes before I had to run the 10K. I was worried about the stopping and starting again, since this would be the first time I'd be doing two races without an extended break between. There was just enough time to get tight, but not enough to shake off any fatigue. Still though, I decided I was going to press the issue and go out hard for both.

One problem...it was really hilly and there were no PRs to be set today. I slid in just under 28 minutes on the 5K, and kept moving as much as I could.

After the 5K

After changing shirts, it was time to line up for the 10K. I was really tight, and the plan became "Go slow early, loosen up, and then gain ground." It looked and felt like that was what I did (based on the field and my legs), but my time said otherwise (1:01:27). I didn't mind too much, but it was just one of those things where I know the mental block of what I was doing kept me from leaving it all out there.

Me after the 10K

Oh well, the point for me was to finish today, and it felt good to be one of the ones to do that in the inaugural version of this race. It did make me wish I had done the Tuuri before it ended, though, as that was the one this race replaced. This one itself was a really nice race, though. The Drubbler was out in full force, and the Mayor showed up to send us off and to participate as well. Even if you don't like him (and I'm not in that crowd), you can't say he doesn't represent and show up to things.

After getting hydrated, I decided to check my chip times for the heck of it. I figured there weren't any awards happening for me today. I figured wrong. I snagged a 3rd in the 5K. Sure, maybe it was a weak field in my age group, but the trophy is so sweet and I will take it.

Swag

I also noticed just after getting my medal that it might have a slight spelling error...

Medal

Blasphemy Will Get You Nowhere

2011-07-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

With the Atwood Duo Medal-y looming, I decided I might need more than just a day off, but I wanted to see what sort of mess I'm getting myself into the way temperatures have been. So we signed up for the St. Pius Run on Wednesday instead of running Thursday and ran in the 95 degree temperatures. It was just burning up out there to the point where we stayed in the shade and waited for race time.

We watched the kids run and saw one wipe out and start bawling. His mom picked him up and carried him off as a girl over by us said she'd wrap her kid up in knee and elbow pads if they ran one of those. Jason and I pretty much talked about how if that were our parents we'd probably be told that we were fine and to get up and finish the race. He didn't even skin his knee. Oh well, I'll stop there before this becomes some sort of social commentary.

I made the mistake of wearing a very dark green shirt with a very large printed logo on the front (Green Lantern) that didn't breathe at all. Probably should have went for something a little heat friendly, but it looked good, and I got a "nice shirt" from another runner, so...worth it. I had to snag a water at mile 2 and it was a little out of the way on the course. That's where Jason lost me, and I stayed about that far away the rest of the race. I couldn't get anything going. My legs were dead. Even my attempts at a last drive sprint to the finish were squashed by unresponsive muscles, and there was no catching Jason. So the good back-and-forth continues.

I still don't have an official time for the race (it was 27:15ish). The results got messed up and they couldn't even give out awards that day because of it. They said they'd post results later that night and mail out the medals, but I haven't seen anything, so I'm starting to believe that they're lost for good.

When I got home, I was about to post a joke about St. Pius being the patron saint of running in REALLY hot weather on the Facebook, when I immediately got a really bad calf pull. It was a really painful one too. Painful enough for me to beg "No, no, I'm just kidding. I won't post it. Make it stop!" So it stopped, but it's still pretty painful. I could barely walk on it that night, and I still feel like someone stabbed me in the calf. I really hope it's better by tomorrow. I think it should be at least good enough to run. I may give it a little 2 miler today to test it. The original wording of my St. Pius comment will never see the light of day, and I feel a tightening in my calf just thinking it now. So I will let it be.

If I get a chance to let you know how Atwood went Saturday, I will. I know I have a busy day, though. Among other things, there's a BBQ cook-off at the Farmer's Market after the race with my name on it, and I think Jessi wanted to do something that night too (I think she wanted to force me to take her to baseball?...I cant' remember).

Super Fatty Sabotage Island

2011-07-20T21:59:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This is a true story. The events of this blog (namely the food part) has not been exaggerated for dramatic purposes.

First thing you need to know is that Jessi was tubing with some girls and I was left unsupervised here with no real grand plans for the weekend. My goal: to keep as occupied as possible. Now, most men I'm sure would love a little time away from their lady to cut loose, but we have so much fun together and, unlike many women I hear about (exaggerated I'm sure), she has no desire to stop me from having fun and enjoying life. So when she's gone, if I try to think "Well if I have time to myself I can do _______," I don't really come up with much that's worth doing. In fact the only things that I can really do while she's gone that I can't while she's here fall in three boring categories: comics, guy movies, and video games. I like those things, but I'm not lame enough to drop an entire weekend (or more than 4 hours collectively) on them.

I needed company. So I had Joe come over and we drank some beer and hard cider while watching the Tigers.

Unfortunately he bailed on me due to some sort of personal drama, and I got left alone. Not long after that I had the most epic fast food meltdown. Maybe it was the slight low blood sugar from the alcohol (which wasn't all that much for a 5+ hour span), maybe it was boredom, or maybe I just lashed out with food the way pets lash out at a house when you leave them alone. Either way, I was knee deep in fast food from two places right before bed on the eve of a race.

The total carnage?

Taco Bell
2 - 7 Layer Burritos
2 - Beefy 5 Layer Burritos
1 - Cinnamon Twist
1 - 32 oz Baja Blast

Ok...now that that's out of the way...What?...More?...How is that humanly possible?

McD's
4 - Mcdoubles (not a misprint)

Yeah tally the callys if you want. I already have. It makes my heart sad (just like the spackling of my arteries from this did at the time).

I woke up the next morning still full, and pretty sickly feeling as well. I still managed to get rolling (not literally), and made it out of the door. I made the drive down to Detroit's Belle Isle and parked for the race. Every time i go to Belle Isle, I realize it's been too long since the last time I've been there. It's not really right near downtown, and it's easy to forget about, but as far as city park's go, it's pretty wonderful.


Scott Fountain


Detroit, Windsor, and the Ambassador Bridge

These are two of the several nice views of the city from Belle Isle. There's a lot more on the island itself, even inland there are small lakes and ponds all over, not to mention a small nature zoo, museum, and a casino. There's even a yacht club, which pretty much shatters the stereotype that nobody in the city has any money. It's also a lot more laid back than most city parks. There aren't any overly stringent rules that hinder the park's experience, and you can grill, have a brew, set up a volleyball net, and go about your day. I really would love to lobby to have our family reunions there, but people are still afraid of Detroit.

As far as the race itself. When it started at 8:30, I was still digesting burritos. I felt like ass, and off the start my legs weren't worth a darn. I never felt worse for a race in my life and this 10K nearly wrecked me. During the loop around the island, I nearly threw up twice. It was just over 80 degrees at the start, and it was direct sun all the way around. I didn't even feel like I had a decent pace going until the thing was almost over. Even after, I felt like this lion.

I Feel You, Buddy

I never did stop to walk, but my time was still crappy by my new standards (1:03:39), and it took a while to get my bearings. So I went back to the car for a bit, and sat and drank some water, and took this photo of me being disgusted.

Ick

Then I took some more pictures, and decided I was going to go swimming. Of course everyone's heard all the horror stories of the Detroit River, but they've done a lot to clean up the place, especially after 2005. The water was clear and the beach was clean, so I went for it.

The result:

A Much Happier and Cooler Me!

Of course while I was doing this I was supposed to be getting tickets for the Tigers game for my friends and my phone blew up with them freaking out. I was supposed to call them and let them know our status by 11:00, but I didn't get around to it until 1:00. I was too busy enjoying water, and the scenery. They can wait. Besides, they should know by now I'm not dependable when it comes to a timeline. Besides, I also had to take a walk through the city drinking a Blue Faygo and take a picture of it for no reason.

I Love Faygo (and wardrobe changes apparently).
The shirt (in case you're wondering) says
"Chicago's 3 Greatest Disasters: The Fire, The Flood, The Sox".

We did go to the game, though. After that I went to Steely Dan at the Fox Theatre, and I didn't get home until 1am. So I had a full day and I kept myself out of trouble (other than the 3 PBR's Mike talked me into at the game...not large ones, just the 12ers). Jessi got back Sunday, and I've been running and dieting off the Friday binge ever since. I still don't think I've made up for it. I'm not sure what can, but I think running in heat advisories the last two days in 90+ temps is a start.

That's a Pretty Full Day

Ophelia Bonner

2011-07-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

So...I got another age group win last Thursday. This time it wasn't at some backwater town race, but in an actual city race. Ok, so maybe it wasn't a large race, and, yeah, maybe the heat chased most of the runners registering that day into the 5K (instead of the 8K), but a win is a win. The guy who got 2nd in our age group and I pretty much ran side by side most of the way. Every once in a while one of us would pull ahead, only to have the other compensate and catch right up. This went on for the entire race until the final stretch where we both cut loose on the last sprint. He'd go faster...I'd go a little faster...he'd go up a gear...I'd go another. Eventually after the 6th or 7th ramp up, I heard a cuss word from him and I pulled ahead at the last second. Of course I didn't know we had been racing for 1st until after, and the times for us were both the exact same time in minutes and seconds, meaning I had won by a fraction of a single second.

It would have been a really fulfilling moment for me, but unfortunately that person that I beat out had to be my good friend Jason. I still think he could have lost me at some point, but he swears not, and that if he had I would have caught up. Who knows? Either way, I still kind of feel like I robbed him blind of a win, but he still got an award. I guess that will teach him to leave me behind next time, if he can. Again...I'm just the....worst...running...partner...EVER! Also, there was another person in our group that was faster, but he was taken out of age group awards for being the overall winner, I guess. Whatever. I don't get this stuff sometimes.

Also, I have to mention that this race had watermelon for the finishers, and that is the best thing that I have ever had after a race. I think I had like 8 corners of it, and, at the time, I probably would have pawned off the trophy to take one home, maybe even just half.

Penance Run

2011-07-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Since the 10 miler was more of a make-up for the missed Saturday and the Arby's meltdown, I still owed a run yesterday with Jason. They always say "He who pays the piper calls the tune," but I think the Tuesday run was the exception. I was paying the piper, but I didn't call the shots at all.

Our usual weekday runs, as of late, have consisted of a nice short jog about 30ish minutes long by my place. I gave up home field yesterday and went out to Jason's place to do his trail instead. I barely even wanted to think about running. It was steaming hot outside, and Jessi was at work, so I could have easily stayed in with the A/C going and got things done around the house. That, or I could have easily sat around doing next to nothing, watching some Netflix DVDs, catching up on that table full of reading material I have sitting out, or swearing at Metroid Prime 2 (which I've been nursing for at least a year since I hardly ever play games anymore). Instead, it was immediately changing into running clothes and going to Jason's right after work.

I pretty much knew I didn't want to do this. However, I told myself no whining. I wasn't going to mention the big run on Monday, or complain how it made me too tired to Jason. I was just going to keep my mouth shut, and run with him, letting him lead the way and choose the path. There really were only two goals for the run: keep up and shut up. I managed to stay with both. Sure I mentioned that it was a tough run, the sweat-soaked light blue shirt was proof of that, but I didn't cop out and make excuses. It's all part of my new "Don't Suck as a Running Partner" campaign.

Just to twist the knife a bit, though, we went further than we usually do because he wanted to. I told him to lead the way, so we did our usual run, and then instead of going back, he wanted to head for the park like we used to. After that, he asked "Do you want to go back up the hill on the way back" and I answered "I'm up for whatever, it's up to you." I should have phrased that response better. The way I said it pretty much gave him no choice but to do it. I'm pretty sure "I'm up for whatever, it's up to you" when translated into runner speak means "I can, but if you decide not to, it's okay that you're a wussy." When we hit the hill he asked "Why'd you talked me into this hill again?" That was hilarious.

When we finished we realized neither one of us brought anything to determine how far we ran or how long we had been going for, so we had to do a little bit of estimating. I tried to map it on Daily Mile, but with the trails not marked on any map or the distances not laid out on the trail maps, it's a little hard to get it very accurate. I figured it was about 72 minutes and 6.8 miles or so, but there's no way to know for sure. The only sure thing was that it's somewhere between 6 and 8 miles, and we were probably going about a 10:30 pace. My estimate on Daily Mile is probably really conservative for pace and distance, but I logged it anyway.

Anyway, the piper is paid, with interest. I'm not even going to think about running today, but maybe we'll do that Ophelia Bonner 5K tomorrow.

This is War!

2011-07-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

Running Brent is declaring war on Fatty Brent today after Fatty Brent dropped an excessive calorie Arby's bomb on Running Brent territory. His mission is not to capture the fatty, take him hostage, and transport him several miles into acceptable calorie territory by foot.

You two are Jamochan me crazy.

Ok, I figure I'll explain what happened yesterday now and out myself publicly. Yesterday for lunch I was deadly hungry, but I knew I was making FaBrentas (which are essentially veggie fajitas in a pita bread with a little avocado and hummus). I kept thinking I'd just hold out until then, but I got a nasty craving for some Horsey Sauce for some reason that I can't explain. I believe sometimes that, given my stomach's bulbous shape and my penchant for girly music, that sometimes I trick my brain into thinking I'm a pregnant woman. I think maybe if I give my brain a look in the mirror, it would know better, but it's still too late to stop putting avocado and pickle on the meatball sub.

Anyway, Arby's has been a long-time nemesis of mine. I don't often eat there, but it seems to creep up and smack me around good sometimes. About 7 years ago Arby's broke my 5 year stint as a vegetarian with a huge meat attack blow-out. Just imagine 5 years without even so much as a taste of meat and suddenly diving face first into the old 5 for $5. Things like that aren't supposed to happen.

I could explain away that instance with being trapped on a bus and a mix between starving and not feeling like just having some curly fries, but I can't really explain yesterday's collapse. I went from "I'll just get a snack to hold me until I get home," to "oh whatever, I'll grab something small for lunch," to "I got a coupon for 3 beef 'n' cheddars and I gotta try that Oreo Shake!" Oh, and I got my Horsey Sauce, too, about 3 of those little condiment cups full for just the 3 sandwiches (let's not even the discuss the amount of Arby's Sauce or their new 3 Pepper Sauce I had to try).

I swear, if condiments didn't exist, I'd be much less prone to eating too much. Want proof? Just look at the hot sauce collection in the fridge. There are 5 different types (Frank's Xtra, Valentina (Black Label), El Yucateco, Tabasco, and Sriracha) in the fridge at all times, and each is used for a variety of instances. It doesn't end there either. I vary miracle whip and mayo, types of mustard, grated cheese, and the list goes on and on. Needless to say I'm kind of a condiment whore, and using them sparingly isn't really my M.O. I've been known to put hot sauce on popcorn and chips (once using half a big bottle of Sriracha on a single tin of Pringles over the course of a week), completely disappear some foods in ketchup, make tacos/burritos that consist mostly of salsa and hot sauce, and keep eating barbecue sauce when it's on my plate and there's really nothing left of the actual food it was put on. It's a sickness, really. I'm not even sure anymore if I actually like food or just things that I can put on food.

Anyway, after my awful lunch and the hours of guilt I had at my desk while finishing up the day at work, I had decided that I would force a run out of myself although Monday is not my running day. With the heat, Jessi told me I wasn't going to make it out that long, and I didn't really feel very much up to it anyway, but I somehow pushed out 10 miles fairly easily. I didn't want to go too much further, though, because the day was almost over, and I promised Jessi dinner, so I headed for home. I stopped off for a water and a "Big Hug" punch about halfway through because I had to get a drink of something. It was too hot to make it the 10 (much of it on the Crim route) without any drinkage.

I still owe Jason a run, meaning he's going to completely beat the crap out of me today. Also, I didn't run any this past weekend with the canoe trip (which I hope to also write about). I meant to, but I forgot to bring any shorts that weren't swim trunks or cargos. I guess I was too focused on picking out horrible shirts. So I really kind of owed myself a run anyway. Maybe if I force myself to run off some of these horrible calorie blow-ups, I will stop having them, but I kind of doubt it. My fat half knows that my running half can easily handle a long rung, and it's not going to bother him all that much. So he's probably just going to keep going with a "Manny being Manny" sort of 'tude. Anyway, I'll stop talking about them like they're real people before I get some sort of dissociative identity disorder.

Huckleberry Hustle

2011-07-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Nope, no nifty word play again, just citing the name of the race.

Pre-Race Stuff

While I'm bored to tears at work, I might as well give you the setup leading into today's race. First off, I'm going camping this weekend, and haven't done anything to get ready yet, other than go to Almar Orchards and buy a case (yes a case) of two varieties of organic hard cider (Scrumpy and Solstice). If you're ever in Flushing, MI, look them up (also see Koans and McCarrons orchards, because they all offer something different). Anyway, that's the extent of the preparation I've done for the 2nd Annual Canoe Trip, other than making a half-baked checklist of very unimportant things not to forget.

The canoe trip came about last year because we missed Nick3's (yes I number them, their name is too common not to at this point) 5th of July party. The 5th party was a summer fixture until his family sold the place on the lake, and we never really replaced it with anything. We'd been talking about a canoe trip for years, but things kept interrupting it. One of the years when we actually had it all put together. It was abandoned because our friend suddenly wanted to move to California, and we had to send him off that weekend instead. Besides, he was our planner person, anyway. I'm still pretty sure none of us would have got this thing rolling had my girlfriend, now fiance, just called and set it up last year.

It was really fun, minus the two boat flips Jessi and I had, which weren't just nice "oopsy" flips. They were "owww rocks and I can't hold the boat still enough to get back in" flips. The root causes of the flips are still up for debate, because I haven't learned those four magic words ("yes dear, you're right"). We also had some comedic neighbors last year. The mixed UofM/MSU group next to us was pretty rowdy until their 8 hour canoe trip wiped them out the last day. There was also the crazy Canadians that out-partied the entire camp leaving an unending trail of beer cans (which they did pick up in the morning). They even took a La-Z-Boy chair that someone threw out on the adjacent road and sat it next to their fire for a few nights. They then burned it the last night they were there. leaving only some smoldering scrap metal in the fire pit. As I said, they put our "party" to shame. Hopefully we'll get a chance to redeem ourselves. We'll have at least 10 people this year, where last year we only had 6. I will try not to throw at baseballs at anyone's head, and bring some Sun Chips for the raccoon (see 1st Canoe Trip)

Anyway, the Huckleberry Hustle is a race out at Crossroads Villiage, which is a small park run by Genesee County that has a mid-1800s theme. I don't believe I'll be in period dress for the race, but I hope that isn't a problem. What may be a problem is the 6 tacos that I had for lunch ("I love them little tacos. I love them good!"). That's a lotta taco. The race is at 7pm, which is right smack dab in the middle of when I should be getting things ready tonight. Our tent smell awful, so I absolutely must put that up tonight to air out. If not, I need to find where I can buy some new cartridges for my respirator mask. I don't see taking the race too seriously, and I want to take a few photos as I go. That may change depending on how well I digest and if I feel like actually running hard. I doubt it. Anyway, updates on the race later tonight...if I have time. If not, I'll get it with all the "non-running weekend" camping/canoeing stuff when I come back.

The Race

Let me just begin with stating that the streak of me finishing ahead of Jason is over. He darted off at the start, and there was just no catching him. I'd like to blame the tacos, that we just had a distance run and my body's still thinking long distance, or the fact that it was a trail run...well no I don't like to blame race performance on anything really. I was just slower today, and he was faster. Still well within the usual margin of error though, and with a 5K average that's still sitting around 32:00, I'm not going to complain about a 27:05?...or something like that (finally checked...27:03 officially). I forgot to take pictures (because I forgot a camera), but I did relax and enjoy the run, despite trying to catch a skinny man with a blue shirt and yellow stripes. Yeah, I could see Jason up there, but he was a long ways away. Honestly, I think it will be best for both of us if we actually have a little back and forth for a while.

As I said, it was mostly a trail run, with a little bit of gravel road through Crossroads Village. It was closed by the time I got there, so there weren't any old timey people around except for a few people dressed as train conductors. If I had that outfit, I'd just wear it all the time. Another woman and on of them was addressing us over a P.A. before the race and saying a bunch of things that I'm pretty sure nobody heard at all. Loud doesn't really help when clarity is completely lost. Other than just enjoying the charms of the old buildings and town, there were a few animals there (goats, a calf, a donkey, and alpacas), every runner got a free ride on the old carosel (which I skipped out on...they're constantly restoring that thing as it is, I don't need to go all human waterfall on it and erode half the paint off), and they were giving out some berry blue after (which is my official Detroit Lions Kool-Aid...but never seems to do any good).

All in all a pretty good race. My apologies for no pictures, I'm just not the shutterbug in this household. Anyway, it's time for me to pack vacation shirts. Yep, that's right, it's time to find the ugliest shirts I still own and wear them publicly just to prove I'm on vacation and don't care. I can already picture Jessi shaking her head.